Some people are so considerate (heavy sarcasm)

CFjo2010 · May 2012

There?s one mom at K?s school who has made it very clear that she?s "Team BM". She?s pretty much the same socioeconomic class as BM (meaning she and her husband and their 2 children live in a 2 bedroom apartment with her husband?s parents) so it doesn?t really surprise us that she?s dubbed us the "bad guys". Every time I?m at the school I always say "hello" to her, and she generally just ignores me. That?s fine, I was raised better. So 3 days a week I always say "hello" and when her little girl runs up and hugs me (which infuriates her) I always hug her back and ask her how she?s doing. In fact when the mom had a hysterectomy a few weeks ago, I emailed her and offered to help with getting her LO to and from school or making dinner if she needed a break. Again, I was raised this way. Be a total b!tch to me and I?ll still smile and bake your ass a cobbler.

So yesterday we receive an invitation in the mail from her (she couldn't even be bothered enough to just hand it to me at school when I'm there). It?s for a Kindergarten graduation party which happens to land on our weekend with K. Normally we would have no problems taking her, except we happen to be overly committed that day with activities as it is. While we?re talking about it, my husband notices there?s a note in the envelope. "I know you have K this weekend but I was hoping you could let BM bring her for just a couple hours. LO really wants K and BM to be at her party." Wait, so we?re not even technically allowed to bring K to this party. Oh hell no.

My husband is pissed. I giggled about it and didn?t let him know how much it?s really bothering me. I mean, who is so inconsiderate and rude that they would essentially tell you that you?re not welcome to a party and only BM can take the child? K has been invited to several parties over the years from friends of BM?s or other parents at the school and they have always phrased it as, "If you and Jo could bring K I?d appreciate it". Hell, most of the time the invites have even been extended to my kids. The rational part of me told my husband to just respond "As much as Jo and I would love to be there with K, we' already have commitments that day.", and basically just ignore the fact that she made it clear she doesn't want us there. I know I shouldn?t let this bother me so much (and maybe it?s just the pregnancy hormones) but I really want to call this woman out on her behavior. I know that won?t "solve" anything but damn it will feel good to get it off my chest.

10-4LilBuddy · May 2012

"As much as Jo and I would love to be there with K, we' already have commitments that day." That's all you need to say. I'd be steamed but there's not much else to say there that is going to make an impact and not give her the satisfaction of knowing it bothered you. She's not going to be shamed into having manners.

Bleh on mean people.

socloudy99 · May 2012

I would write this mom a letter telling her exactly what I think curse words and all.

Then I would throw it away and send the PPers response.

I might make me feel better. People just amaze me! Completely out of line. Even if she wanted BM to bring K since BM is her "friend" having the nerve to put it in an invite is beyond me.

Holly_1007 · May 2012

seriously? what a biatch! Why didn't she just send the damn thing to BM's house if she didn't want you guys involved?? that seems VERY passive aggressive to me, and definitely warrants a few unkind words.

blush64 · May 2012

jobalchak:

There?s one mom at K?s school who has made it very clear that she?s "Team BM". She?s pretty much the same socioeconomic class as BM (meaning she and her husband and their 2 children live in a 2 bedroom apartment with her husband?s parents) so it doesn?t really surprise us that she?s dubbed us the "bad guys". Every time I?m at the school I always say "hello" to her, and she generally just ignores me. That?s fine, I was raised better. So 3 days a week I always say "hello" and when her little girl runs up and hugs me (which infuriates her) I always hug her back and ask her how she?s doing. In fact when the mom had a hysterectomy a few weeks ago, I emailed her and offered to help with getting her LO to and from school or making dinner if she needed a break. Again, I was raised this way. Be a total b!tch to me and I?ll still smile and bake your ass a cobbler.

There was no reason for that. You really believe she is a jerk because her, her husband and kids live ina 2 bedroom apartment with her in-laws. That's the reason. She is of a 'lower class' than you so she fits in with BM and is a jerk. People of all incomes are horrible people. I don't see why you even mention her living situation or income level, are you really that concerned about it?

While I raised my kids alone I was young and did not have a lot of extra money. Would you assume that because at that time I would have more closely fit into their income bracket that I would be just like them? You would be wrong.

Other than that, I think the woman is horrible and you should respond with a polite "we can't make it, we have other plans"

Kaeldrasmommy · May 2012

socloudy99:

I would write this mom a letter telling her exactly what I think curse words and all.

Then I would throw it away and send the PPers response.

I might make me feel better. People just amaze me! Completely out of line. Even if she wanted BM to bring K since BM is her "friend" having the nerve to put it in an invite is beyond me.

This. In fact I'm currently filling pages of crap I would like to say to BM and intend to burn it. If this woman wanted to invite BM she should have sent her a seperate invite.

CFjo2010 · May 2012

blush64:
jobalchak:

There?s one mom at K?s school who has made it very clear that she?s "Team BM". She?s pretty much the same socioeconomic class as BM (meaning she and her husband and their 2 children live in a 2 bedroom apartment with her husband?s parents) so it doesn?t really surprise us that she?s dubbed us the "bad guys". Every time I?m at the school I always say "hello" to her, and she generally just ignores me. That?s fine, I was raised better. So 3 days a week I always say "hello" and when her little girl runs up and hugs me (which infuriates her) I always hug her back and ask her how she?s doing. In fact when the mom had a hysterectomy a few weeks ago, I emailed her and offered to help with getting her LO to and from school or making dinner if she needed a break. Again, I was raised this way. Be a total b!tch to me and I?ll still smile and bake your ass a cobbler.

There was no reason for that. You really believe she is a jerk because her, her husband and kids live ina 2 bedroom apartment with her in-laws. That's the reason. She is of a 'lower class' than you so she fits in with BM and is a jerk. People of all incomes are horrible people. I don't see why you even mention her living situation or income level, are you really that concerned about it?

While I raised my kids alone I was young and did not have a lot of extra money. Would you assume that because at that time I would have more closely fit into their income bracket that I would be just like them? You would be wrong.

Other than that, I think the woman is horrible and you should respond with a polite "we can't make it, we have other plans"

Actually, I say that because she flat out told my husband and me that we should be paying BM more CS since we're "so well off". BM refuses to work to provide for herself and K, as does this woman she's befriended. Anytime someone who refuses to do better for themself and expects everyone else to rally around and offer handouts tells me I'm not doing enough to cover their unwillingness to do anything, I deem them to be a jerk.

CFjo2010 · May 2012

holly71087:
seriously? what a biatch! Why didn't she just send the damn thing to BM's house if she didn't want you guys involved?? that seems VERY passive aggressive to me, and definitely warrants a few unkind words.

We know she obviously spoke with BM beforehand and BM put her up to it. That's the only way this woman would have gotten our home address. BM probably figured if the request came from the mom directly then my husband would comply.

blush64 · May 2012

jobalchak:
blush64:
jobalchak:

There?s one mom at K?s school who has made it very clear that she?s "Team BM". She?s pretty much the same socioeconomic class as BM (meaning she and her husband and their 2 children live in a 2 bedroom apartment with her husband?s parents) so it doesn?t really surprise us that she?s dubbed us the "bad guys". Every time I?m at the school I always say "hello" to her, and she generally just ignores me. That?s fine, I was raised better. So 3 days a week I always say "hello" and when her little girl runs up and hugs me (which infuriates her) I always hug her back and ask her how she?s doing. In fact when the mom had a hysterectomy a few weeks ago, I emailed her and offered to help with getting her LO to and from school or making dinner if she needed a break. Again, I was raised this way. Be a total b!tch to me and I?ll still smile and bake your ass a cobbler.

Actually, I say that because she flat out told my husband and me that we should be paying BM more CS since we're "so well off". BM refuses to work to provide for herself and K, as does this woman she's befriended. Anytime someone who refuses to do better for themself and expects everyone else to rally around and offer handouts tells me I'm not doing enough to cover their unwillingness to do anything, I deem them to be a jerk.

There is a difference between this and what was stated in the OP. SHe is a jerk because she is a jerk. She is not a jerk because of her status, not everyone with a lower income is like them.

People standing around looking for handouts are probably jerks but not all people in a lower income bracket fit that. The wording makes it sound different than I think you meant it.

I agree that she sounds horrible either way.

riabiron · May 2012

"Be a total b!tch to me and I?ll still smile and bake your ass a cobbler"

I LOVE THIS!

Sigir · May 2012

jobalchak:
I mean, who is so inconsiderate and rude that they would essentially tell you that you?re not welcome to a party and only BM can take the child?

I have had this happen to me, so it's not as rare as you would think. So insanely rude!

CFjo2010 · May 2012

wendilea:
jobalchak:

Be a total b!tch to me and I?ll still smile and bake your ass a cobbler.

I need this on a bumper sticker. I would totally do the same, and I get accused all the time of letting people treat me like a doormat.

My husband gets frustrated with me for this behavior. But ya know what? I grew up with a Mother who always baked for even the most horrendous people. Whenever I asked her why she was nice to them she always said, "Bad people choke on kindness."

bellre · May 2012

blush64:
jobalchak:
blush64:
There was no reason for that. You really believe she is a jerk because her, her husband and kids live ina 2 bedroom apartment with her in-laws. That's the reason. She is of a 'lower class' than you so she fits in with BM and is a jerk. People of all incomes are horrible people. I don't see why you even mention her living situation or income level, are you really that concerned about it?

While I raised my kids alone I was young and did not have a lot of extra money. Would you assume that because at that time I would have more closely fit into their income bracket that I would be just like them? You would be wrong.

Other than that, I think the woman is horrible and you should respond with a polite "we can't make it, we have other plans"

Actually, I say that because she flat out told my husband and me that we should be paying BM more CS since we're "so well off". BM refuses to work to provide for herself and K, as does this woman she's befriended. Anytime someone who refuses to do better for themself and expects everyone else to rally around and offer handouts tells me I'm not doing enough to cover their unwillingness to do anything, I deem them to be a jerk.

There is a difference between this and what was stated in the OP. SHe is a jerk because she is a jerk. She is not a jerk because of her status, not everyone with a lower income is like them.

People standing around looking for handouts are probably jerks but not all people in a lower income bracket fit that. The wording makes it sound different than I think you meant it.

I agree that she sounds horrible either way.

What I got from the comment in the original post was that b!tchlady sympathized with BM because they are in/from a similar SES, thus it is possible they share a similar mindset. I really don't think that OP meant she is a b!tch because she has less money.

Kaeldrasmommy · May 2012

jobalchak:
wendilea:
jobalchak:

Be a total b!tch to me and I?ll still smile and bake your ass a cobbler.

I need this on a bumper sticker. I would totally do the same, and I get accused all the time of letting people treat me like a doormat.

My husband gets frustrated with me for this behavior. But ya know what? I grew up with a Mother who always baked for even the most horrendous people. Whenever I asked her why she was nice to them she always said, "Bad people choke on kindness."

I love it. That sounds like my grandma. Or my mom, who always told me that a good b!tch knew how to be a b!tch with a smile on her face.

karatechrissy · May 2012

riabiron:
"Be a total b!tch to me and I?ll still smile and bake your ass a cobbler"

I LOVE THIS!

I was tryin to just quote this part and my phone wouldn't let me. TOTALLY AGREE! LOVE THIS! Actually, I think it will be my new siggy quote, because really, I'm totally like this as well. Jo, I think I really like you. ;-)

karatechrissy · May 2012

Kaeldrasmommy:
jobalchak:
wendilea:
jobalchak:

Be a total b!tch to me and I?ll still smile and bake your ass a cobbler.

I need this on a bumper sticker. I would totally do the same, and I get accused all the time of letting people treat me like a doormat.

My husband gets frustrated with me for this behavior. But ya know what? I grew up with a Mother who always baked for even the most horrendous people. Whenever I asked her why she was nice to them she always said, "Bad people choke on kindness."
I love it. That sounds like my grandma. Or my mom, who always told me that a good b!tch knew how to be a b!tch with a smile on her face.

I love this, too!!!!!

Phantomgirl · May 2012

jobalchak:

Again, I was raised this way. Be a total b!tch to me and I?ll still smile and bake your ass a cobbler.

Sounds like you were raised by a sadist.

Your mother baked cakes to make other people feel uncomfortable and watch them squirm???

There is nothing 'better' or 'charitable' about that.

If someone is rude or obnoxious to you bid them farewell and move on with your life. Baking for them and imposing yourself on them despite knowing something about you makes them uncomfortable is kinda sadistic to me.

Forget her bs, you do not need to feed into it. Reply with dignity and decourm as you would to any other invite.

Thats what being the bigger person is, its not letting others bs drag you down to where they are at OR react in a way to get a rise out of them.

Wahoo · May 2012

Phantomgirl:
jobalchak:

Again, I was raised this way. Be a total b!tch to me and I?ll still smile and bake your ass a cobbler.

Sounds like you were raised by a sadist.

Your mother baked cakes to make other people feel uncomfortable and watch them squirm???

There is nothing 'better' or 'charitable' about that.

If someone is rude or obnoxious to you bid them farewell and move on with your life. Baking for them and imposing yourself on them despite knowing something about you makes them uncomfortable is kinda sadistic to me.

Forget her bs, you do not need to feed into it. Reply with dignity and decourm as you would to any other invite.

Thats what being the bigger person is, its not letting others bs drag you down to where they are at OR react in a way to get a rise out of them.

I agree with Phantom.

It's one thing to be polite to someone and say hello to them (vs. pretending they are not there), but to "go out of your way" for people that don't like you IMO makes it seem like you are trying to win them over (even if that is not your goal).

Would I offer to pick a child up from school if their mom hated me? Yes, b/c that is for the child. But would I cook a dinner for a woman who didn't like me? No, I would ask if the LO wanted to come over for dinner, but the b*tchlady can still pick up the phone and order pizza and spend the $20. Let her "bestie" cook for her.

It seems very strange to try to intertwine yourself so much with someone who clearly dislikes you.

PS: Yes, she is SOOOOOOOOOOO rude!

Want a personalized experience?

Some people are so considerate (heavy sarcasm)

Re: Some people are so considerate (heavy sarcasm)

Choose Another Board

Search Boards