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3rd Trimester
Unreasonable to be pissed?
I should preface this by saying that my husband is normally super helpful and wonderful, a fantastic partner and a wonderful dad. That being said...
I spent most of the day yesterday in L&D with preterm labor issues. After three shots of terbutaline (sp?) the contractions pretty much stopped and the fetal febronectin (sp?) test was negative, so I was sent home with instructions to pretty much stay on the couch or in bed as much as possible. Every time I change positions it seems to set off a new round of contractions, so being up and down taking care of a 2 year old and a 3 year old is not good for me right now.
Oh, and to top it all off the girls and I all have nasty colds, which for the girls just means some grumpiness but for me means I feel like a truck hit me and I have a horrible sore throat and a nasty cough.
So yesterday DH could have left work at 4. I get a call at 5:30 saying oops, I lost track of time doing personal stuff on the computer (he's been really into Dave Ramsey and is putting together a budget for us). It took everything in me not to blow up that time, I have no help at home with the kids and I had just gotten home from the hospital at 3 so I was counting on him being home to help. But I got over it, I figured at least he's trying to get us financially on track.
Then tonight he had tickets to a baseball game, which he had been given for free and really could have easily cancelled. He gets to do this stuff all the time through work so it's not like it's some super special outing for him. He never even offered to stay home. Is it selfish of me to expect him to at least offer?
In his defense, he did come home early from work today and gave the girls dinner and a bath so I wouldn't have to do it.
So he's at the game,and I'm a little miffed. Not only that he left for this fun, nonwork outing in spite of me being one step short of dr ordered bed rest and sick to boot, but I admit I'm a little resentful that I can't do things like that anymore because this pregnancy is kicking my ass, but he can.
So honestly please. Am I being completely unreasonable? I tend to turn into a raging B at times when I'm pregnant, so it wouldn't surprise me if I were completely overreacting.
Married. A 3 year old and a 2 year old. Both girls. Pregnant with another. Someday I'll put a ticker up...
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Unreasonable to be pissed?
So frustrating!!!
I won't know if you did, but I would have asked him to stay home. Boys are stupid sometimes about stuff, but I never assume mine can read my mind... Just sayin.
I really hope you and your girlies get over that cold quickly! That stinks.
I hear you on the reading my mind thing, and I never would normally expect that. I guess I'm just a little shocked it didn't occur to him. I'll probably just get over it and not say anything. I didn't ask him to stay home and I know he'll just feel bad if he thinks I'm upset.
Good to know I'm not being totally crazy though!
my husband is an amazing man like yours sounds, and if i were put through all that with my pregnancy, i guarantee you he would either hire family/friend to come take care of our kid(s) or have taken the days off work & theres NO WAY IN HECK he'd expect that going to the game, especially if it wasnt very meaningful to him, was an option.
i can be a real rager,,, but you are so right for being overwhelmed, and at the end of your witts... im guessing YOU are as equally an AMAZING woman so even with the experience (sorry, scary!!!) he knows you can manage your worlds, because women are rockstars, even just laying on the couch miserable while the kids paint the walls !!!
ugg! good luck !!!
I'd be a little peeved. Just putting myself in that position, if it was my DH, I know the thought wouldn't even have crossed his mind but then if I pointed out what he was doing he'd feel really guilty about it. So I'm thinking he probably just didn't realize it. I'd say something to him, but not in an angry, blowing up at him way, just say something.
You said it best yourself. I'd be miffed. Not mad or pissed or blowing up angry...just miffed. Taking care of toddlers is actually a lot of work - even just their regular routines. Bless your heart!
I had a similar situation today. Quick preface: I had DD2 premature at 35weeks last time, so I'm always aware of my contractions and what my body is doing this time because I'm somewhat nervous. So today, I started having some contractions. I knew exactly what my Dr would say..."Drink some water, put your feet up, & take a warm bath. Call if they don't go away." I too have 2 little girls (2.5yrs and 18mo) so propping my feet up and just hanging out isn't really an option for me most of the time. DH farms and works long hours. Anyway, the contractions worried me a little so I called him and asked him to finish up what he was doing and please hurry home so I could rest and see if they went away. Two hours later he still wasn't home, so I called him 3 times in a row and he never once answered my call or my texts. When he pulled in the driveway, I waited and waited for him to ask me if my contractions had stopped. Apparently he completely forgot because I had to bring it up myself by saying, "Thanks for asking butthole - my contractions stopped. Also, thanks for hurrying home and answering my phone calls." He got a quick "Oops" look on his face. I was miffed. A little aggravated. However, he was apologetic and helped get the girls ready for bed tonight.
Gosh, I feel like you are underreacting a little. I would be so angry. He absolutely should not have gone out to do something fun. He should be taking care of your girls so you can take care of yourself and your growing baby. Maybe you should get your doctor to actually say "bedrest" if it helps you get the rest that you need.