I have no desire to BF Liam until he's 3 - BUT I totally support women who do. This is unnecessary negative light shed on breastfeeding and attachment parenting. I wish they would have selected the second image (https://lightbox.time.com/2012/05/10/parenting/#2) as the cover image - the one they chose looks like the boy is doing something he isn't supposed to be doing. Freaking america.
I have mixed feelings about it. My initial reaction was - So, I'm not mom enough because I didn't BF this long? It stung a little.
On the flip side, I think we give mixed messages about BFing in the US- I heard a lot of positive messages when I was BFing, but I also heard contradicting things like- don't do it in public! Switch to formula/real food, the kid is hungry! Don't pump at work, it makes people uncomfortable! Etc., etc. So, I think that making BFing a more accepted, supported practice needs to happen if that is how you choose to feed your baby. Whether you decide to FF or BF, I think we should support each other. While I may not have BF'd until DS was this old, I think encouraging a dialogue of being more supportive of BFing is long overdue. I hope that made sense.
What do you think?
I'm very supportive of breastfeeding and feel very lucky to have had supportive friends, family and co-workers. I think it's fine for mom's to BF in public, although I was never comfortable enough to do it, except in emergency situations. I have loved BFing my little munchkin and still enjoy our morning nursing sessions, but I just get a little skeeved out at the thought of a 3 year nursing, and that picture did not help. I know there are people that do it and that's great for them, but I know we will not be one of those families.
Not sure where I stand on the whole attachment parenting thing. I'm not gung-ho for it, but I'm not against it either. We BF, but do not co-sleep/bedshare and did very little baby wearing. I know if works for some and to each their own, but for us having him in his own room and letting him play and explore on his own is what works.
I am torn. One the one hand, I understand that in most cultures around the world, mom's breastfeed until their children are much older. I heard seven years is average. On the other hand, I grew up in this culture and I think this is a bit crazy. I don't mind seeing women breastfeed and I have NIP on more than one occasion, but if I saw a woman NIP her three year old, I would be a bit freaked out.
Chase was born 4/23/2011
Carlene was born 4/18/2014 A14 siggy challenge: Junk Food
It bugs me, though i think breastfeeding a 3 year old is over the top. However i feel if someone is to choose to do this all the power to them, but this cover doesnt look right and they made it look just wrong. The kid standing on a chair for one, looking at the camera and the mom standing there like she just got back from the gym all dressed up. The kid does not look 3 and just looks like hes sucking on her goods. I think if it was most tasteful like sitting on a couch cuddling him it would come off differently. I also feel bad for the kid, this has to be his real mom i cant see them sticking a kid n some randoms boob (hopefully not) and the poor kid will probably be teased when hes older.
I certainly did a double take because the child looks like he's about 5 or 6, but at only 3 I have no qualms about it. I'm planning on nursing DD til she's 2, possibly longer.
My only problem with the picture is that the kid looks like he's 6. If he's three, there's no problem with that. As Twirple said, in other countries, children aren't weaned until much, much later.
In 2000, I was at an election returns party at the school where I was teaching. Remember when we kept thinking we would know who the President was that night? Anyway, it was past midnight, and I was shocked to see a faculty member's wife breastfeeding her four-year-old. They were from Brazil, and that was their norm. I still feel like an ass that I was so judgmental, but that was 13 years ago. There's a lot I've learned since then.
I love the magazine cover. I didn't BF past 3 months, but I support anyone who chooses extended BF. It's purposely "provocative", and it will spearhead tons of conversations about BF... exactly its intended purpose, right?
I wasn't offended by the picture, but I thought it was a bit gross. Maybe a picture of him sleeping and nursing would have been easier to stomach...Or a kid that didn't look 5.
I am a BF-ing mama, I nursed in public (with a cover), I support and encourage all my friends and family with breastfeeding, I co-sleep (although I don't know if we "attachment" parent- not even sure what exactly that is), I co-bathe ... But I could not imagine nursing my walking, talking, self feeding, cup using 3.5 year old daughter (who looks younger than that kid) unless it was a necessity (famine, health issues). In that case, I'd pump anyways.
Are there really that many, or any, benefits in nursing a child who can eat everything and take vitamins?
I haven't been on here in ages and just happened to pop on and see this.
I nursed my 3 year old. I was in my second trimester with DS2 when he officially stopped. He was not nursing at all until it was time to go to bed since after he turned 2. That was it. I am an AP parent and adore it.
Its hard to say what you will and won't do sometimes as a parent. I never ever thought I would be nursing him that long. Some want to say that you shouldn't judge but I realize it will get judged because its one of those topics that some women just feel strongly about. But until your actually in the drivers seat in those moments, it works, your happy, it's peaceful, he's happy...and in the end that's all that matters!
There are, believe it or not, just to answer the question about benefits...BM constantly changes to meet the nutritional needs for your child. It's like a nice back up to their foods. So when my picky 2 year old doesn't feel like eating or they are sick? It's nice to be able to BF.
I couldn't edit myself on the ipad, so now I'm hogging this thread, LOL. I'm an old April mom, just had an issue with my old account. I used to post more during the first and second tri.
Just wanted to add that I think it's important to normalize BF, but i do think that Time could have eased everyone in and maybe not have a kid look like he's 6. Most Americans are not accustomed to this way of thinking. It may shed a bad light on the AP style but I think they were going for shock. Which kind of frustrated me.
I think it the intention of Time was to promote thoughtful discussion on the topic, they went about it in entirely the wrong way.
Don't put up an inflammatory header - "Are you mom enough?" for one thing - even DH commented on that and was like, WTF? And don't have a smug looking mom standing there with her (looks way older than 3yr old) son standing on a chair to BF with her breast hanging out of his mouth while he's looking at the camera.
If you're truly trying to promote extended BF / AP values, then perhaps a more realistically posed "candid" type shot where mother & child are sitting down together and focused on each other while the child is BFing instead of this very agressive standing up and staring right at the camera / reader posing and inflammatory cover wording would have been more appropriate.
I agree with all of this. I don't judge someone who does extended BFing. To each their own. I know that we won't do it, but if someone else feels it is beneficial for them then more power to them.
The 'Are You Mom Enough?' thing is irritating and the posing of the photo is awful in my opinion.
I feel bad for the boy on the cover. This picture is going to come back to haunt him one day.
Also I don't think that length anyone chooses to breastfeed determines how good of a mom they are. Formula or breastmilk? It's all just food and it all ends up in the diaper in the end.
One thing I don't get - why would a 2-3 year old "skeeve" anyone out? There is nothing sexual going on here. I think as Americans, we are just not used to this sort of thing and breasts are very sexual here in the U.S. I don't know, it's just a comforting way of mothering and what not, LOL, not sexual.
But out of sheer respect, I know you have the right to your opinion. No flames here! Just putting it out there. :-) Sorry, you did say it made you cringe initially...and that's what made me cringe in return, LOL. Sorry, just being honest.
But, like you said, you don't judge, to each their own. I won't ever judge anyone who has a 3-4 year old with a paci or walking around with a bottle hanging out of their mouth for the same reason. Meh, it's one of those mom debates that will never be settled, ya know?
It's not because I find anything sexual about it. I honestly never even thought of it that way. It's just that in my mind breastfeeding is for babies. So if I see a 3 year old walking around, talking in sentences, eating with a fork and spoon, and peeing in the potty I find it really weird. I know in other cultures it's the norm and not a big deal. To me personally it seems unnatural (I know I know - it's the most natural thing in the world). Would I ever tell a mother that she shouldn't be doing it? No. Her child - her decision. But in all honesty the first thing that pops into my mind when I see the picture of the kid standing on the chair BFing is "ew".
One thing I don't get - why would a 2-3 year old "skeeve" anyone out? There is nothing sexual going on here. I think as Americans, we are just not used to this sort of thing and breasts are very sexual here in the U.S. I don't know, it's just a comforting way of mothering and what not, LOL, not sexual.
But out of sheer respect, I know you have the right to your opinion. No flames here! Just putting it out there. :-) Sorry, you did say it made you cringe initially...and that's what made me cringe in return, LOL. Sorry, just being honest.
But, like you said, you don't judge, to each their own. I won't ever judge anyone who has a 3-4 year old with a paci or walking around with a bottle hanging out of their mouth for the same reason. Meh, it's one of those mom debates that will never be settled, ya know?
Ok, I'm done now..sorry! :-)
Sorry, just realized that you probably meant the picture itself made you cringe (which is not a realistic picture of extended BF) as opposed to extended BF making you cringe. Sorry, in defense mode, LOL. :-)
It's not because I find anything sexual about it. I honestly never even thought of it that way. It's just that in my mind breastfeeding is for babies. So if I see a 3 year old walking around, talking in sentences, eating with a fork and spoon, and peeing in the potty I find it really weird. I know in other cultures it's the norm and not a big deal. To me personally it seems unnatural (I know I know - it's the most natural thing in the world). Would I ever tell a mother that she shouldn't be doing it? No. Her child - her decision. But in all honesty the first thing that pops into my mind when I see the picture of the kid standing on the chair BFing is "ew".
Thats cool, thats how you feel and I totally respect it. I think all this Time cover did was give AP parenting in general a bad name which doesn't help anything since there is a huge misconception out there as it is. Hopefully, the article, which I did not read as of yet, sets everything straight and hopefully educates a bit.
Even with co-sleeping, that's a whole different topic I know, but it was mentioned how others let their child explore on their own in their room...see? My son bed shares with me but he does so much exploring on his own. I only scoop him up in his crib and bring him into bed with me once I'm about to pass out for the night. I'm not sure one has anything to do with the other. My LO just doesn't sleep the whole night by himself. I love it this way. Just pointing out the misconceptions on AP in general. Eh, I'm beating the horse here, LOL. I just saw on the Today show how a critic of AP said we're making it all about the child and how it can be a bad thing. I let my child do his thing, believe me. How does attending to his needs or not letting him cry mean I'm making it all about him? It sounds like I'm just being a mama. Oh boy, there I go again...sigh...
I was one of those, "When I am a mom, I would never..." I worked in childcare for years and found it a little bit odd when people nursed passed a year just because that seemed to go against the norm around me.
Then... I had a baby and nursed her. She was never super attached to nursing, but was fine with it. A week before her first birthday, she got a horrible stomach bug that lasted nine days and wanted to nurse like mad! Although she continued to throw up, it was the one thing that kept her from getting dehydrated and needing an IV. She became super attached to nursing and though I quit pumping at work she is begging to nurse in the morning and evening. I'm a little sad thinking about it ending
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I think Time should be ashamed to show breastfeeding in such a negative light. Check any of the studies, the longer a kid is breastfed the better. The WHO recommends 'til at least 2. And yeah, that is a great sacrifice for a Mom to give to her child, it's wonderful. There's nothing weird about kids breastfeeding - it's MILK. There's nothing sexual about it. It pisses me off that people will just be disgusted by this. As if there aren't enough nay-sayers toward breastfeeding as it is. The women who do breastfeed should be championed and not turned into scapegoats of society.
it's way too much for me. i actually think the cover borders on obscene, and i'm not easily offended.
Don't know if anyone is still following this thread, but why do you find the picture "obscene?"
because in their effort to sell magazines, they have sexualized this child. this isn't a picture of a mother cradling a baby in her arms nursing. it's designed to be provocative, and it's over the top.
Hmm....I thought I'd stop BFing DS when he turned one, but I can't seem to stop. I think I'll keep going as long as my body produces milk and as long as he wants to. The magazine didn't really bother me any.
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Re: I'm all for breastfeeding, but...
Ugh it makes me angry.
I have no desire to BF Liam until he's 3 - BUT I totally support women who do. This is unnecessary negative light shed on breastfeeding and attachment parenting. I wish they would have selected the second image (https://lightbox.time.com/2012/05/10/parenting/#2) as the cover image - the one they chose looks like the boy is doing something he isn't supposed to be doing. Freaking america.
growing a foosa
I'm very supportive of breastfeeding and feel very lucky to have had supportive friends, family and co-workers. I think it's fine for mom's to BF in public, although I was never comfortable enough to do it, except in emergency situations. I have loved BFing my little munchkin and still enjoy our morning nursing sessions, but I just get a little skeeved out at the thought of a 3 year nursing, and that picture did not help. I know there are people that do it and that's great for them, but I know we will not be one of those families.
Not sure where I stand on the whole attachment parenting thing. I'm not gung-ho for it, but I'm not against it either. We BF, but do not co-sleep/bedshare and did very little baby wearing. I know if works for some and to each their own, but for us having him in his own room and letting him play and explore on his own is what works.
It bugs me, though i think breastfeeding a 3 year old is over the top. However i feel if someone is to choose to do this all the power to them, but this cover doesnt look right and they made it look just wrong. The kid standing on a chair for one, looking at the camera and the mom standing there like she just got back from the gym all dressed up. The kid does not look 3 and just looks like hes sucking on her goods. I think if it was most tasteful like sitting on a couch cuddling him it would come off differently. I also feel bad for the kid, this has to be his real mom i cant see them sticking a kid n some randoms boob (hopefully not) and the poor kid will probably be teased when hes older.
I certainly did a double take because the child looks like he's about 5 or 6, but at only 3 I have no qualms about it. I'm planning on nursing DD til she's 2, possibly longer.
Mama's Gonna Buy You A Mockingbird
That was my exact thought as well.
My only problem with the picture is that the kid looks like he's 6. If he's three, there's no problem with that. As Twirple said, in other countries, children aren't weaned until much, much later.
In 2000, I was at an election returns party at the school where I was teaching. Remember when we kept thinking we would know who the President was that night? Anyway, it was past midnight, and I was shocked to see a faculty member's wife breastfeeding her four-year-old. They were from Brazil, and that was their norm. I still feel like an ass that I was so judgmental, but that was 13 years ago. There's a lot I've learned since then.
Mac and cheese lover!
I love the magazine cover. I didn't BF past 3 months, but I support anyone who chooses extended BF. It's purposely "provocative", and it will spearhead tons of conversations about BF... exactly its intended purpose, right?
I say good for Time.
I wasn't offended by the picture, but I thought it was a bit gross. Maybe a picture of him sleeping and nursing would have been easier to stomach...Or a kid that didn't look 5.
I am a BF-ing mama, I nursed in public (with a cover), I support and encourage all my friends and family with breastfeeding, I co-sleep (although I don't know if we "attachment" parent- not even sure what exactly that is), I co-bathe ... But I could not imagine nursing my walking, talking, self feeding, cup using 3.5 year old daughter (who looks younger than that kid) unless it was a necessity (famine, health issues). In that case, I'd pump anyways.
Are there really that many, or any, benefits in nursing a child who can eat everything and take vitamins?
I haven't been on here in ages and just happened to pop on and see this.
I nursed my 3 year old. I was in my second trimester with DS2 when he officially stopped. He was not nursing at all until it was time to go to bed since after he turned 2. That was it. I am an AP parent and adore it.
Its hard to say what you will and won't do sometimes as a parent. I never ever thought I would be nursing him that long. Some want to say that you shouldn't judge but I realize it will get judged because its one of those topics that some women just feel strongly about. But until your actually in the drivers seat in those moments, it works, your happy, it's peaceful, he's happy...and in the end that's all that matters!
There are, believe it or not, just to answer the question about benefits...BM constantly changes to meet the nutritional needs for your child. It's like a nice back up to their foods. So when my picky 2 year old doesn't feel like eating or they are sick? It's nice to be able to BF.
Thanks for listening!
I couldn't edit myself on the ipad, so now I'm hogging this thread, LOL. I'm an old April mom, just had an issue with my old account. I used to post more during the first and second tri.
Just wanted to add that I think it's important to normalize BF, but i do think that Time could have eased everyone in and maybe not have a kid look like he's 6. Most Americans are not accustomed to this way of thinking. It may shed a bad light on the AP style but I think they were going for shock. Which kind of frustrated me.
I agree with all of this. I don't judge someone who does extended BFing. To each their own. I know that we won't do it, but if someone else feels it is beneficial for them then more power to them.
The 'Are You Mom Enough?' thing is irritating and the posing of the photo is awful in my opinion.
I feel bad for the boy on the cover. This picture is going to come back to haunt him one day.
Also I don't think that length anyone chooses to breastfeed determines how good of a mom they are. Formula or breastmilk? It's all just food and it all ends up in the diaper in the end.
One thing I don't get - why would a 2-3 year old "skeeve" anyone out? There is nothing sexual going on here. I think as Americans, we are just not used to this sort of thing and breasts are very sexual here in the U.S. I don't know, it's just a comforting way of mothering and what not, LOL, not sexual.
But out of sheer respect, I know you have the right to your opinion. No flames here! Just putting it out there. :-) Sorry, you did say it made you cringe initially...and that's what made me cringe in return, LOL. Sorry, just being honest.
But, like you said, you don't judge, to each their own. I won't ever judge anyone who has a 3-4 year old with a paci or walking around with a bottle hanging out of their mouth for the same reason. Meh, it's one of those mom debates that will never be settled, ya know?
Ok, I'm done now..sorry! :-)
Sorry, just realized that you probably meant the picture itself made you cringe (which is not a realistic picture of extended BF) as opposed to extended BF making you cringe. Sorry, in defense mode, LOL. :-)
Thats cool, thats how you feel and I totally respect it. I think all this Time cover did was give AP parenting in general a bad name which doesn't help anything since there is a huge misconception out there as it is. Hopefully, the article, which I did not read as of yet, sets everything straight and hopefully educates a bit.
Even with co-sleeping, that's a whole different topic I know, but it was mentioned how others let their child explore on their own in their room...see? My son bed shares with me but he does so much exploring on his own. I only scoop him up in his crib and bring him into bed with me once I'm about to pass out for the night. I'm not sure one has anything to do with the other. My LO just doesn't sleep the whole night by himself. I love it this way. Just pointing out the misconceptions on AP in general. Eh, I'm beating the horse here, LOL. I just saw on the Today show how a critic of AP said we're making it all about the child and how it can be a bad thing. I let my child do his thing, believe me. How does attending to his needs or not letting him cry mean I'm making it all about him? It sounds like I'm just being a mama. Oh boy, there I go again...sigh...
This mama is through this time, I promise, LOL.
I was one of those, "When I am a mom, I would never..." I worked in childcare for years and found it a little bit odd when people nursed passed a year just because that seemed to go against the norm around me.
Then... I had a baby and nursed her. She was never super attached to nursing, but was fine with it. A week before her first birthday, she got a horrible stomach bug that lasted nine days and wanted to nurse like mad! Although she continued to throw up, it was the one thing that kept her from getting dehydrated and needing an IV. She became super attached to nursing and though I quit pumping at work she is begging to nurse in the morning and evening. I'm a little sad thinking about it ending
because in their effort to sell magazines, they have sexualized this child. this isn't a picture of a mother cradling a baby in her arms nursing. it's designed to be provocative, and it's over the top.