Anyone bed sharing with a newborn?

wheelsonthebus · May 2012

I did on and off with DS, but this baby loves falling asleep while nursing laying down and I'm actually GETTING SLEEP this time around. She sleeps next to me all night and nurses when she needs to. However, I just saw this thing on the news about a women who lost both her children to "co-sleeping." Now this will be in the back of my mind. Anyone else bed sharing with a newborn? Give me your pro co-sleeping stance!

lady_tytah · May 2012

I co-slept with my daughter. I loved it! If my bed wasn't so small (a full) this time around I would do it again. I would definitely recommend it. I have never rolled on her (when it was just me and my daughter we were in a twin), and it was allot easier to make sure she was breathing fine. Most times, I hear about parents rolling on their child were, drunk, taking meds, or had some other issues. We, as women, are built to be next to our child, sleep with them, carry them, and so on.

If you are comfortable and had no issues trust your gut!

pixieprincss · May 2012

We had DS is a side-car with no barrier between him and me from birth. We follow all of the rules of safe bed-sharing (https://cosleeping.nd.edu/safe-co-sleeping-guidelines/) and will have no qualms about adding baby 2 to our bed.

wheelsonthebus · May 2012

We've tried the side car and a cradle right next to the bed, and this LO just wants to be right next to me. I am a very light sleeper and had no problems with DS, but you know all the negative things people have to say! I am really enjoying sleeping with my daughter this time and I'm amazed at how rested I feel each morning.

ryry1977 · May 2012

I didn't do it with DS but am this time with DD. My goodness...so much more sleep this time around! I loved bed sharing with her and still do. I have been scared a few times, she likes to snuggle her face into me. But she is 3.5 months now and we are still doing great. Hope all goes well

From what I read that lady who lost 2 babies that way was on drugs. Not recomended at all. Those are the people who give bed sharing a bad name.

Ginny0211 · May 2012

I started co-sleeping with my DD when she was about 3-4 months old. I started co-sleeping when she was waking up more than she did as newborn and I was beyond exhausted. I took the comforter off the bed and I always clip her Snuza breathing monitor on. I love co-sleeping, but I have to have my Snuza or I worry too much. I have found that I don't move an inch when co-sleeping though and am more of light sleeper than I already am normally.

Teneniel · May 2012

I did for the first several weeks, and I really miss it. She sleeps better in her crib now, but wouldn't sleep anywhere but face-planted into my boob for a while.

The risk factors for co-sleeping are smoking, alcohol use, drug use (including things like Benadryl etc) and obesity.

We also have a Snuza monitor and I can't say enough about the peace of mind, both when I nap in bed with her and when she's all alone in her crib.

vitan · May 2012

I've been co-sleeping with DD since day one. Granted, when she was first born we didn't sleep much becuase I was scared but after I did some reading I felt/slept comfortable. You really are aware of their movements, but your husband might not be. Some men just sleep in another room. My DH stayed with us but we have a cal king and I created a barrier between the babe and him and he usually just stays in one spot. I form kinda like a "C" around her as a protective barrier as well. This has been the best for us and we all get sleep. My back aches from time to time because I stay in the same position but that's ok with me.

hazysherman11 · May 2012

It is true that most of the time co-sleeping is just fine, and MANY of the deaths are due to alcohol, drugs etc. But not ALL of them. It can happen to anyone, and there are extreme dangers in sleeping with an infant. The best place for a baby to sleep is in his own sleeping spot. They make the little sidecar things you can put on your bed and they have little bassinet things you can even put on the bed for the baby to sleep in. Although the risk is small, it is not worth the risk for me.

Harper'smom · May 2012

We are bed sharing but we wake up to nurse. I don't understand the logistics of nursing while asleep. I have to sleep with a heavily padded nursing bra to avoid soaking the sheets and lo is a guzzler/choker/spitter. Anyways, she is swaddled in her sleep sack between DH and I who sleep as far apart as possible and follow the rules. When she starts grunting and wriggling around we get up and nurse/change her diaper. So I'm not getting all of this sleep that I hear comes with bed sharing but I do it to have baby close, the sleep will come.

Alliebooberz · May 2012

I have with DS since he was born. Remember there are a lot of common sense safety steps to take, no medicines or drugs or drinking, don't be a smoker, no pillows, no heavy blankets, other person sleeping in bed has to follow the same rules. I hold my babe in bed and he sleeps using my arm as a pillow either on his side facing me, or on his back. His head is right at boob height and if he wakes up, he starts rooting right at my shirt.

A girl I knew from high school lost her baby that was 6 months old on Easter by not safe cosleeping. She just had the baby laying on the bed, no railing and her arm wasn't around him to protect him. She was also on a lot of prescription anti anxiety meds and sleep aids. He fell in between the bed and wall and suffocated and she didn't know until morning.

La Leche League's book has a section on safe bed sharing.

kcisthebombdotcom · May 2012

Yes, I loved bedsharing with both my babies when they were newborns.

Bedsharing deaths can be attributed to one (or more) risk factors, such as mom under the influence of drugs and alcohol, obesity, unsafe sleeping environment (like on a couch), etc. I practiced safe bedsharing/never did drugs or got drunk/am a healthy weight so I never felt there was any risk.

tokenhoser · May 2012

We started bedsharing right away - but it was just me and the baby. DH snores and I just couldn't take it, so I moved into the baby's room.

There are risks to bedsharing. There are risks to a baby crib sleeping (guess what? Some babies die sleeping alone. Tragic, but true.). For me, it made the most sense to set up a bedsharing arrangement that was as safe as possible. It led to maximizing my sleep, which made other aspects of my life safer, too. Like driving.

As to the "breastfeeding while sleeping", it worked well for us. I could easily side-lie and bf. I had myself propped with a body pillow on the side away from DS so that I was totally relaxed but wouldn't roll on him.

dmfan897 · May 2012

I bedshared with both DDs from birth. I just make sure to follow all of the safety rules, and DH doesn't sleep with us until baby is older. Can't wait to cosleep with DC3!

redheadinlove · May 2012

Oh my gosh how I love night nursing since we learned to nurse laying down. I've bed shared with my daughter since day one. She sleeps with her head on my arm facing me. I keep one pillow under my head and one between my legs. Only one light blanket. and every night I make sure the sheets are on tightly (they like to come off when my Fiance sleeps but he works nights). I have never rolled over on her or even worried about it. Occaisionlly I snuggle her too closely but she's right at breast level and she's used to my breast squishing her face while she eats and can breath through the sides of her nose so she's fine.

My only concern with bedsharing is that because I don't wake up at night to feed her ( practically latch her on in my sleep), when we wake up her diaper is soaked, sometimes leaking.

Also, if I'm extremely tired, or if I had been drunk at all that night, I don't/wouldn't sleep with her.

Mama B · May 2012

DD2 sleeps right with me since she was born. As did DS and DD1. She nurses to sleep when we go to bed around 11, wakes up once during the night to nurse and then we get up at 6:30. I fully wake up when she moves or grunts but fall back to sleep perfectly once she's resettled. I wouldn't have it any other way!

rae_dylanzmom · May 2012

I'm not sure what to add, except that we bed-shared from Day 1. DH is only with us some of the time due to his travel schedule, so I think it is a little tough on him. I echo the comments about better sleep and all of us being happier.

Sara&Andrew805 · May 2012

Please know that not ALL co-sleep fatal accidents are due to the mother taking drugs, drinking, taking medications, or being obese.

I co-slept with my two other children until they were several years old. No problems and I loved it! I wouldn't have had it any other way. I now have a 2 month old who we co-slept with (just like my other two) since the day she came home from the hospital. Never in a million years did I think anything would ever happen to my baby.

One night last month, as we always did, we went to bed. We were sleeping like we always had. In the middle of my sleep, I felt this force waking me. I woke up and looked over at my baby. A sheet had fallen over her face! She was lifeless and unresponsive. I immediately picked her up screaming her name--nothing. I started jostling her, panicking, screaming. She slowly came to.

This was an extremely close call. One I will never forget. My baby is fine but we are now struggling to get her to sleep in her crib. I haven't slept in my own bed since.

I am not obese (5ft tall, 105 lbs). I do not drink. I do not take drugs. And I do not take medication. What I DIDN'T do was make sure we were safely co-sleeping. Please, please be sure you take every precaution when co-sleeping with your baby. Make sure your bed is baby-safe just like the crib would be. I never would wish a close call like this or an accident on anyone.

I haven't been the same since.

Jess.O · June 2012

When I brought DD home, she hated her bassinet. When we finally tried bedsharing (about 1 week old probably) it helped so much. I was nervous at first and slept only very lightly but she slept better and eventually so did I. I highly recommend it if you can do it safely.

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