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Attachment Parenting
Should we have another baby? WWYD?
Hi all. I'm a substitute teacher, currently on the hunt for a full time job. LO is 19 months, and I have been back subbing since he turned about one. We have a very small community, and jobs don't come up often. There is a teacher leaving at the end of this year, and they are not going to replace her due to declining enrollment, which is projected to go up again in about three years. My question is, should I go ahead and get pregnant now knowing that there won't be any jobs next year? The thing that is holding me back is that there in another teacher (at least one...) leaving at the end of next year, so there could be a job then. If that were the case, new LO would be about 3 months old. Way too young for me to want to leave it. The teacher that I know is leaving said he wanted me to get his job. I know that is the general sentiment in the department. Even if a job came up when new LO was more like a year, I will be off the radar from maternity leave. So I would have to hope for a job in three years! Or on the flip, have another kid in like 3-4 years when LO is 5/6? Should I be basing our family dynamic on the hope of a job coming up? BTW I have baby fever.
A chart to help you make sense of this rant:
2012/13 Preggo (still subbing)
2013/14 Possible position, at least one teacher leaving, but I wouldn't apply with a new baby.
2014/15 Ready to work, but off of everyone's radar, so probably wont get hired.
2015/16 back on everyone's radar. Hope there is a job!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Should we have another baby? WWYD?
I wouldn't make my plans for TTC based on what someone a colleague may or may not be doing at some point off in the future.
They may leave the job, they may not. You might get offered the job, you might not.
It's a big decision to hinge on a lot of ifs, buts and maybes.
If you're ready to TTC and you can afford a baby then I say go for it.
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
Agreed. I would never base my plans on what someone said. Plus, things can happen where even if you have a LO you might need to return to work sooner or later than anticipated. You just don't know at this stage. If you and your DH are wanting to TTC and can afford it, then go for it but I would personally not turn down options for something that hadn't happened yet.
What's the line about "best made plans" and all that jazz? It's easy for some to say "just go ahead and do x" without knowing you, but since I don't know you, I'll just tell you my personal experience.
The year I had DD, I had work up to my eyeballs. It was so hard and I vowed never to do that to myself again. If I had another kid, I wanted things to be really mellow on the job front so I could just focus on me, my kids and DH for a little while. But, I also knew I didn't want kids spaced really close together.
Enter this year. DH got a job opportunity that caused us to move abroad. I had just enough work lined up to see us through May of this year (ie, this month) and wasn't doing anything to drum up more work. I was certain it would be the perfect time to get pregnant since I was taking a break from work anyway.
Turns out DH is operating on a different time line than I am. In the meantime, I have been getting random work projects out of nowhere, by word of mouth or from former clients, and now it looks like I will be a lot busier than I thought at least through the end of this year.
If DH were to say tomorrow he was ready to TTC #2, I would do so without a doubt. And if a client contacted me tomorrow with yet another job offer, I would probably take it. I realized I can't really plan everything to fall into place the way I want it to. I will either have another baby and still have to do some work, something I will figure out then, or I will not have another baby and I'll be glad I didn't give up the work, or I will have another baby at a time at which I've wrapped up all the work I have for the next 6-12 months anyway, since I can't predict if or how quickly I would get a BFP even if we started TTC tomorrow.
So, I guess what I am saying is, if you feel ready to TTC # 2, go for it, and apply for the position that may come up at the end of this year if that teacher leaves, too. At worst, you would end up with some choices, which is better than not having any choices/options at all.
Your post made me giggle a little bit. I'm a teacher and I tried to plan out the next few years before I was even engaged. I *may* have even created a color-coded timeline on a sentence strip.
Well, my DH popped the question a year and a half ago and set my plan in motion. However, three months into planning our Summer 2012 wedding (lol!), we find out I'm prego. It was not at all planned, but has been the best thing that's happened to me. We had a small, intimate wedding last spring and welcomed my LO into our lives this fall. I ended up leaving my old teaching job to stay home. It scared the crap out of me, but I went with my gut. Just a few weeks ago, I found out the school I've been applying to for years was hiring. I interviewed and got the job! It's absolutely perfect- its a part-time teacher's assistant job that starts next fall. I will be able to work mornings and then spend the afternoons and weekends/vacations with my LO.
My point is- I know it's hard, but sometimes you just have to go with your gut and let the rest happen. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. GL!
I think PPs all had great points, it's impossible to plan life. If you/H are ready to TTC #2 then do so, because there's no telling whether you'll conceive right away, whether this other job will be available, and if so whether you'd even be offered the position, etc.
IMO there's a difference in being prepared and making a plan. Life doesn't always work out how we plan, but if we're prepared then it all works out.
Good luck with your decision!