No more ttc, my life is falling apart. Long — The Bump
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No more ttc, my life is falling apart. Long

Ladies, first off I want to say thank you.  You are a fabulous, knowledgable group of women and I felt so at home here.  I will be leaving the board and didn't want to drop off without an explanation.  I hope this is not inappropriate.   

Well, as you may know, my husband and I were thinking of tta because of some medical issues (related to a PTSD and a possible neurological condition).  I've been under a ton of stress due to his mood swings etc. We have only been married since August 2011 and things are very rocky.  So adding a child to this situation would be wrong.

He has been avoiding me lately and acting very abnormal.  I went through our cell phone statement(family plan). I just had a gut feeling something was "off". Well, I discovered frequent calls and texts to a certain number over the past month or so.  All things point to the fact that he has been unfaithful.  He of course denies this. 

I called a divorce lawyer...for me, cheating is a deal breaker.  Ladies, I am truly heart broken, disappointed, sad and angry all at the same time.  I thought we were starting a life together, But sadly I was so wrong. My life is falling apart.  So this is goodbye.  I wish you all the best.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.  I hope someday I will be on this board again happily. 

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Re: No more ttc, my life is falling apart. Long

  • I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you can get back on your feet soon. ::hugs::
  • I'm so sorry, nyc.  Hugs to you and t&ps.
    __________________________________________________________________________________________ 

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  • ((NYC))
    I am so sorry you are going through this. I'm glad you have set your boundaries, and realized you can't be with someone that has been unfaithful. That is a hard decision to make for some people.
    Poke in every once in a while and let us know how you are doing.

    ((Hugs))
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    Repeat HSG, right tube blocked/left hydro. PCOS, and Endometrial hyperplasia.
    Moving forward with purchasing a home, then maybe IVF/ adoption/embryo adoption/ or child free.
  • I am so sorry. Hopefully things start to look up for you soon!
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  • I am so very sorry you are having to deal with this.  I understand the "cheating is a deal breaker."  It is for me as well.  Honestly, I don't know what to say.  I am so sorry.  Hang in there.  ((((big squishy hugs))))

    "A man walking backwards does not see what lies ahead, only what he is leaving behind."

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  • I'm so sorry that you're going through this, please take care of yourself..T&Ps for you during this difficult time.  So sorry..
  • I am so sorry that you are going through this.  I cannot imagine how hard it must be, take some time to "mourn" and be sure to reach out to friends/family when you are ready and need to talk.  Best of luck.
    image

    TTC since August 2011 (Me-29, DH-32).
    4/28/2012 - SA: 5% motility.
    5/21/2012 - SA: same results.
    Only shot is IVF (ICSI)
    5/31/2012 - HSG: all clear
    6/22/2012 - appt with RE, confirmed ICSI is necessary.
    8/3/2012 - First IVF Monitoring Appointment
    8/17/2012 - Egg Retrieval (retrieved 23 eggs, 3 made it to freezer)
    8/18/2012 - OHSS - hospitalized, need to wait one cycle to transfer embryo(s) due to OHSS
    8/29/2012 - begin meds for frozen cycle
    10/12/2012 - FET one embryo
    10/24/2012 - Beta #1: 442
    10/26/2012 - Beta #2: 947
    10/29/2012 - Beta #3: 2900!
    11/15/2012 - first u/s: baby measuring perfect, heart rate is right on target
    2/6/2013 - A/S looked perfect. Still team green by choice!
    7/6/2013 - Baby girl born after 44 hours of un-medicated labor, 2 hours of pushing, and emergency c-section due to transverse head.  DD was perfectly healthy at 6 pounds, 14 ounces.  We are thrilled!!
  • image nyc7781:

    He has been avoiding me lately and acting very abnormal.  I went through our cell phone statement(family plan). I just had a gut feeling something was "off". Well, I discovered frequent calls and texts to a certain number over the past month or so.  All things point to the fact that he has been unfaithful.  He of course denies this. 

    Obviously, I don't know your whole story, but this seems really quick, especially since he hasn't admitted to it.

    I'm not suggesting that he's not guilty because, obviously, I don't know. I'm just saying I'd consider some counseling before calling a divorce attorney. Especially when he is dealing with PTSD.

    Just a thought. Best of luck to you in whatever you choose. I know this must be incredibly difficult for you. 


    TTC since June 2010.
    DX hypothyroidism, pituitary hyperfunction, and PCOS.
    On med/treatment break indefinitely. Not currently trying.
    Lots of love to all of my Golden Girls!
    The Vagtastic Voyage
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  • So sorry to hear all of this! It really sounds like the right decision though, as much as you were ready to start a family it really will be better to wait and start it at the right time. I am sorry it did not turn out as it should have, but it really sounds like you are choosing to do the right thing. GL to you and your future!
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    Me & DH:29 Married:10/3/09 BFP#1:11/4/09 DS:7/6/10 BFP#2:6/1/12 DD:2/12/13


    It's a BFP Chart! EDD 2.7.13
  • TaraV86TaraV86 member
    image LollipopsAndCrisps:
    image nyc7781:

    He has been avoiding me lately and acting very abnormal.  I went through our cell phone statement(family plan). I just had a gut feeling something was "off". Well, I discovered frequent calls and texts to a certain number over the past month or so.  All things point to the fact that he has been unfaithful.  He of course denies this. 

    Obviously, I don't know your whole story, but this seems really quick, especially since he hasn't admitted to it.

    I'm not suggesting that he's not guilty because, obviously, I don't know. I'm just saying I'd consider some counseling before calling a divorce attorney. Especially when he is dealing with PTSD.

    Just a thought. Best of luck to you in whatever you choose. I know this must be incredibly difficult for you. 

    I have to agree with this and this was also my first thought. Again, we all know the details of our own situations better than outsiders but counseling may be a better first step? Good luck to you. I hope things work out well for you and I'm sorry about what you're going through.

    imageimage
  • I am very sorry.. You are in my T&Ps
  • I am so sorry that you are going through this.  Remember as hard as this is, you are strong for being able to do what is right by you.  So many people find that impossible. I hope all the best for you.
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    BFP 8/03/12 EDD 4/18/13
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  • My thoughts are with you. I hope that you get the support you need from family and friends and that your life will pull together. 
    TTC 1: Off BCP late October 2011. BFP #1 Jan 2, 2012; EDD September 5, 2012; m/c Jan 12, 2012. BFP #2 June 14, 2012; EDD February 22, 2013.
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    Now: Me: PhD student and married. Brother: Lawyer and married.
    Dad's wedding speech: Thank you to all the family who stood watch and prayed for our children's survival. Well now the little scrawny chicken is married. Who would've thought? (Thanks dad for making me laugh and cry at the same time).
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  • Juicy71Juicy71
    250 Answers 2500 Comments Third Anniversary 100 Love Its
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    I'm so sorry :(  My thoughts and prayers are with you.  Take care of yourself.
    Me: 43 DH: 39 - AMA, DOR
    Mommy to Sami (IVF), Born 8.30.13
    Surprise non-assisted BFP - 12.29.2014, Beta 1 = 322, Beta 2 = 760
    EDD 9.7.2015

     BabyFruit Ticker 

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  • Oh nyc, I am so sorry you are going through this.  You are in my thoughts and prayers. 

    image image

     Me: 34 Dh: 41, Married: Oct 15th 2011

    Me: Deteriorating Ovarian Reserve, Hostile Uterus

    Dh: Slow but Healthy Swimmers

    Round 1 Clomid 100mg 7/12/2013

    BFP 8/2/2013 EDD 4/14/2014

    Charlotte Born on 4/23/3014

    http://beanagirl01.blogspot.com/

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  • cls78cls78
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary Photogenic
    member
    I am so sorry.  Take care.  :(
    TTC since May/June 2012 
    Sept 2013 testing:
    SA #1 Low motility (17%) 
    SA #2 Lower sperm count, but much higher motility
    CD 3 Bloodwork and ultrasound - Normal HSG - Clear tubes 
    Oct/Nov 2013 Cycle 1 with RE 50 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI BFN  
    Nov/Dec 2013 Cycle 2 with RE 50 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI BFN 
    Jan/Feb 2014 Cycle 3 with RE 50 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI BFN 
    2/20/14 Follow up consult RE recommends IVF with ICSI 
    3/10/14 New patient consult with RMA NJ 
    3/11/14 AMH and other Bloodwork to prep for IVF with ICSI at RMA NJ
    3/28/14 Saline Sonogram - All good
    March/April 2014 IVF #1 Antagonist Protocol
    BCP/Bravelle/Menopur/Ganirelix
    4/16/14 ER 26 Retrieved!!!
    4/17/14 Fert Report 22 Mature 21 Fertilized w/ ICSI
    4/22/14 Report #2 15 BLASTS
    5/24/14 FET!!!  (Transferring 2 snowflakes)
    6/2/14 Beta #1 575!!! :)
    6/4/14 Beta #2 2060!!! :)
    6/11/14 1st Ultrasound...Saw 2 Gestational Sacs!!  Beta #3 34,312!!! 
    6/18/14 2nd Ultrasound...Heartbeats!! Baby A 112bpm Baby B 117bmp <3 Beta #4 172,080!!!
    6/25/14 3rd Ultrasound...Heartbeats!! Baby A 150bpm Baby B 158bpm <3 Beta #5 232,134!!! 
    7/3/14 4th Ultrasound...Heartbeats!! Baby A 173bpm Baby B 162bpm <3 Beta #6 269,228!!!
    Graduated from RMA!!  First appt with OB 7/8/14

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  • I'm so sorry.
    Baby Boy Due December 29th!

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  • NYC,  I am so sorry that your going through this. You are in my T&P, and I hope everything works out for you. cyber Hug...
    imageimagephoto proudEPer2.gif
          BFP #1: 7/18/12, M/C 8/6/12 @6weeks ; Missing our April Angel
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  • So sorry you are going through this. 

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    BFP #1: 7/10/2012 .... DS Born: 2/26/2013
    TTC #2: 5/2014
    BFP #2: 7/8/2014 .... MC at 4w4d
    BFP #3: 9/14/2014...EDD 5/30/2015


    Little Sister is on the way!
  • YGPM
    Mrs. JBG


    TTC #1 since 2/2011
    2009 Intrauterine polyp removal;
    2011 SA: good HSG: clear....NO DX
    Clomid+TI (3/2012)= BFFN; Clomid + TI (5/2012)=BFFN

    SURPRISE 8/28/2012 BFP!!!!!!
    Beta (8/31) 1=2211

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  • image LollipopsAndCrisps:
    image nyc7781:

    He has been avoiding me lately and acting very abnormal.  I went through our cell phone statement(family plan). I just had a gut feeling something was "off". Well, I discovered frequent calls and texts to a certain number over the past month or so.  All things point to the fact that he has been unfaithful.  He of course denies this. 

    Obviously, I don't know your whole story, but this seems really quick, especially since he hasn't admitted to it.

    I'm not suggesting that he's not guilty because, obviously, I don't know. I'm just saying I'd consider some counseling before calling a divorce attorney. Especially when he is dealing with PTSD.

    Just a thought. Best of luck to you in whatever you choose. I know this must be incredibly difficult for you. 

    I am so sorry you are going though this. I do think that Lolli made some great points, but of course, you need to do what is right for you.  Sending positive thoughts your way.


    ** After  2 1/2 years of Unexplained IF, 2 failed medicated cycles, and 4 failed IUI's - our baby girl came to us through the miracle of Mini IVF! **

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  • jle625jle625
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments Photogenic
    member
    So very sorry. I hope everything turns out for the best.
    Me 29 DH 30 TTC Since 6/2010

    BFP#1: 7-5-12 EDD: 3-14-13 Early Loss: 7-13-12

    *SA: Good* *CD3 BW: Good* *HSG: All Clear*

    DX: Unexplained Infertility

    Jan 2013 Clomid 50mg+Trigger+IUI#1=BFN

    Feb 2013 Clomid 50mg+Trigger+IUI#2

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  • I am so sorry to hear this. Hugs ad I wish you te best. Take care of yourself.
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    The bumpette formerly known as K-spread/K-sizzle/Kaper etc
  • Only you know what's best for you. Take time and heal. I wish you all the luck in the future. 
    Started TTC 2/2009
    Started fertility treatments 11/2010
    Ovarian dysfunction, LPD, male factor
    6 failed medicated IUI's
    Pregnant 5/2011 - Miscarriage at 6 weeks due to triploidy
    Decided to adopt - 6/2012
    SURPRISE! Pregnant without intervention - 7/2012 
    Sweet Baby James Born 3/2013
    Decided to be "One and Done"

    ....OR NOT.
    Pregnant 12/2018 despite birth control pills
    Here we go again...
    Due 8/26/19!
  • I'm so sorry you have to go through all of that.
  • I'm so sorry to hear this NYC :(..  You will be in my thoughts as you go through this hard time.  Please take care of yourself.
    Together since April 2004.  Married since June 19th, 2010.
     BFP #1: January 31st 2012: CP. 
     BFP #2: June 1st 2012, Due:2/8/13. Avery was born via unplanned c section on 2/13/13. 
     BFP #3: Sept. 25th, 2014. Due: 6/5/15.  MMC on 10/23/14. Confirmed complete molar pregnancy per D&C 10/29/14, 
    HCG officially negative 12/10/14.  Benched until June 2015.
                                                        
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  • NYC I am so sorry. Hugs babe. Let us know if you need anything.
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    Anniversary

    Me:29 DH:30
    TTC since 10/11
    HSG, BW, Ultrasound, SA, Genetic testing, Karyotype - all normal
    DX - Unexplained IF
    3/13-9/13 - 2 Clomid IUIs & 3 Injectable IUIs - All BFN
    Cycle 25 - IVF w/ antagonist protocol - ER 11/18 (11R, 9F) - ET 11/23 (1 "good" early blast) - none left to freeze - BFN
    Cycle 26 - IVF w/ antagonist protocol  - ER 1/17 (12R, 11M, 8 F) - ET 1/22 (2 "good" expanded blasts) 
    2 frosties - Beta 2/4 - BFP! 2104, 2/7 -  4780, ultrasound 2/12 - holy shiz, there are 2!
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  • I'm sorry.  You are acting very smart.  Some dumbbutt women get pregnant on purpose to "fix" a situation like this.  Your future child will thank you for welcoming them into a good environment.  I hope your husband seeks and gets the help he needs and you move on to happiness.
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    Married 12/8/07 | Sleeve Gastrectomy 10/19/09
    BFP#1 DD born 3/9/11 | BFP#4 DD born 9/20/13
    BFP#2 6/21/12, M/C at 5w2d | BFP#3 11/27/12, M/C at 6w6d
  • I'm so sorry you're going through this. I agree with the pps who say to give counseling a try. With PTSD and a possible neurological condition you never know what's going on - PTSD can make a person emotionally cut off from the ones they love and they may do a lot of things they wouldn't do if they were healthy. I hope he can get some successful treatment, and I hope you can find the best solution for the grief you're feeling right now. Good luck. *hugs*
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  • T&P's with you during this difficult time.

    lots of <3 to my TBBFF Sothernpeach80 - BABY ETHAN IS HERE! 02.04.13 <3

    TTC #1 since Jan 2012

    BFP #1 07/27/12 - EDD 04/07/13; C/P on 07/31/12

    BFP #2 10/11/12 - EDD 06/24/13; Blighted Ovum; D&C 11/30/12

    BFP #3 03/10/13 - EDD 11/17/13 - PLEASE BE OUR TAKE HOME BABY!

    Beta #1 - 95.8 (12DPO); Beta #2 - 502 (15DPO); Beta #3 - 2003 (18DPO)

    First U/S showed one beautiful baby measuring 7w1d with a HR of 148!!! Second U/S showed baby measuring 9w0d with a HR of 173!!!

    My Ugly BFP Chart

    “I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much." -Mother Teresa

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  • Oh, Nyc, I am so sorry you are going through this. My heart goes out to you. I hope that you will get through this and be back on your feet soon. Sending lots of ((hugs)) your way. I hope you have someone that you can lean on through this, I have seen how hard it can be.
  • I am so sorry you are going through this :-( {{Hugs}}

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    Lots of love TBBFF lobosabby!! Always rooting for the TTGP girls

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  • AlbahAlbah
    Ninth Anniversary 2500 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    member
    So terribly sorry you are going through all this. Many prayers for you! 
    Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers Lilypie Third Birthday tickers image
    BFP #3: 01/28/12, EDD: 09/23/12, MMC (BO), D&C 2/16/12 at 6.5 wks
    BFP #4: 05/23/12, EDD: 01/31/12, Early MC at 5 wks

    RPL Workup: + LPD (7DPO Prog = 7.8, Endometrial Bx = out of phase)
    Elevated Alpha 2-glycoprotein IgA and antiphosphatidylserine IgM -->
    Hematologist said not to worry and no need for treatment!

    Dx: LPD
    Cycle #1(08/2012): Clomid 50 mg CD3-7, Ovidrel CD13 + Progesterone = It worked!
    BFP #5 on 09/10/12 (11 DPO). HCG #1 @ 14DPO = 131.6 HCG #2 @ 16DPO = 509
    EDD: 05/23/2013 Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

  • Oh nyc, I'm so terribly sorry to hear this. T&P's for you during this difficult time. I wish you the best. Always here for you if you need to vent.
  • Thanks ladies for all of your kind words.  And I should have added that we have been in marriage counseling since January. It obviously hasn't done the trick. But those of you were absolutely correct for suggesting it.  Thank you, T&Ps are truly appreciated...I have to be strong.
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  • OMG, NYC, I am soooo sorry. My heart goes out to you. I feel like I just got to know you the other night on chat, and now this is happening Sad You will definately be in my T&P, girl. Take care.
    Our little angels went to Heaven very early: 1/2012, 2/2012, 3/2012. "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord". BFP 7/12/12- EDD March 26,2013 BabyName Ticker
  • I'm so sorry you're going through this, NYC. Take care of yourself.
    PCOS with long, irregular cycles
    First round of Clomid in May 2012= BFP #1, DD born January 2013 
    BFP #2 in January 2014, DS born September 2014

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  • atelyceatelyce
    500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Photogenic
    member
    So sorry that you are going through this! Sending lots of thoughts and prayers your way! Hope that things get straightened out quickly, and you are back on your feet again soon!
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    The name is Angel. I'm 27 years old & DH is 28. We have been together for 12 years, married on May 21, 2011. We are TTC #1! I was diagnosed with endometriosis via laparoscopy in August 2010. Off of BC since March 2012. I am a 2nd year OB/GYN Resident physician. I love getting to be involved in precious miracles first moments of life, and I can't wait until the day we are blessed to have our own miracle!
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