Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Just thinking
I totally have this fear, especially since last time I think I went in too early. I have talked to my midwives about it and they treat a VBAC like any other labor, and recommend that you stay at home until you have a 4-1-1 pattern of contractions. They told me that a rupture is most likely to occur in 2nd stage of labor, when you would already be at the hospital on the monitor.
I was also told by a doula who has attended many VBACs that in the absence of medication, moms in labor are the best way of detecting a possible rupture--meaning that you would probably know before anyone else did. The baby's heart rate is also a great indicator, but you can monitor this yourself at home with a doppler or stethoscope.
One of the things I am doing to help with my fears is to hire a doula experienced with VBAC to be with me in labor at home. Doulas are great at knowing when it's best to get to the hospital, even without monitoring you medically. You can also hire a monitrice who will monitor the baby's heart rate and do cervix/blood pressure checks. I haven't decided yet if I'm going to go with a monitrice or just a doula but I am definitely doing one or the other.
Honestly this is part of what pushed me into homebirth (not saying it's right for everyone). I plan on laboring as long as possible at home anyway - and wondered why would I not stay there if things are going well? I was stressing about interrupting labor to go to the hospital, only to then readjust to a different environment, etc. I figure if we have an emergency or even a need to go to the hospital, we will, otherwise I will stay at home with the midwife's careful monitoring.
But a big fear/issue you have to accept when deciding to do homebirth (I think) is that something may go wrong and you won't be in the hospital when it does. We are comfortable with our 5 minute distance to the hospital, but I have to accept that it's definitely not the same as being there. It's a balance.
Sorry - don't mean this to be about homebirth. Or maybe I do. I really want to say that I totally understand your fears and the tough decision of "if I go too early this, if I go too late that..."
I have thought about a Doula and can't make up my mind about it. I just want to be able to at least try. I don't want to go in and feel pressured into something. My OB is on board after our few bumps in the road. I am terrified he isn't going to be on call that night.
I don't think I could do a homebirth. I think my anxiety would get the best of me and I would not be able to concentrate. We are about 30 mins from the hospital and it would scare me. I think I need that hospital setting to make me feel calm. I feel like that sounds a little crazy. I admire people who can and do homebirths. It's just not for me.
I don't think I'd be comfortable if I was any further away from a hospital. And I was totally not comfortable with the idea until now (27 weeks). Something just clicked for me. I think EVERYONE should do what they feel comfortable doing. I asked my homebirth midwife if she would be ok if I freaked out during labor and decided I had to birth in a hospital. She said she believes women need to birth where they are comfortable. I totally understand about hospital settings making you feel calm. I don't hate hospitals or have a lot of trauma associated with them. I just don't have one I love. The homebirth thing for me is for about getting really excellent one-on-one care during pregnancy.
Anyway, it's good we have nine months to process all of this, right?!
This may help - it's the emotional stages of labor. https://www.angelfire.com/nb/doulaamanda/Labor.html
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)