mil wants me to wait for #2 till #1 is atleast 3

jlpev · May 2012

My mil who is very sweet but very outspoken thinks & told me that I should wait till DS is @least 3 till having #2. I personally think its none of her business but she has made it known what she thinks. Her boys were 21 months apart & she said she wishes that she would have spread them out more. We are thinking of ttc in July which DS would be 18 months old at that time.

CherryStarburst · May 2012

so what's the problem?

IrishEyes0530 · May 2012

Tell her to shove it and get KTFU when you want! Or just ignore her. You're right, its none of her business.

HElizabethDU · May 2012

No offence, but it isn't her decision it is yours. What if it takes you that long to conceive? It took a year and a half for me with DD.

lauriebyronm · May 2012

Since she is deciding your future and so involved ask her if she wants to be present when you actually start ttc so she can make sure your doing it the right way..... Lol

jlpev · May 2012

Sorry my phone cut part off...she thinks that the babies should have more alone baby time but my brothers & I were 2-3 yrs apart & I think I turned out fine &/ I'm the middle child, LOL! Do you think kids should be spread out BC kids need more one on one time? I would think having them close would be nice!

CherryStarburst · May 2012

jlpev:
Sorry my phone cut part off...she thinks that the babies should have more alone baby time but my brothers & I were 2-3 yrs apart & I think I turned out fine &/ I'm the middle child, LOL! Do you think kids should be spread out BC kids need more one on one time? I would think having them close would be nice!

well the second kid isn't going to get "Alone time"... ever. I think you should tell her to mind her own beeswax. My kids are all 2 years apart. I think it depends on the family and what you think will work for you though.

xmanmama2010 · May 2012

my mom told the the other night she didnt wanf another grandbaby right now and would tell me when/if she wanted another one. we are having my iud taken out in july.

desdemona39 · May 2012

It's a personal decision, and there are pros and cons to however you decide to space them.

And the only one who gets one on one time is the first child.

And your MIL sounds like a peach.

jlpev · May 2012

Dh told her that we will do what we want when we want too...its not like she's paying for it & we rarely ask her to babysit

rsrn02 · May 2012

lauriebyronm:
Since she is deciding your future and so involved ask her if she wants to be present when you actually start ttc so she can make sure your doing it the right way..... Lol

This!

belladonna11307 · May 2012

Eh, you never know. There's four and five years between my sisters and I and only 13 months between the two of them. They have always been closer to each other than I have been with either of them. I always figured it was because they grew up together and there was always this weird age gap (they were babies when I was a kid, they were kids when I was a teen, they were teens when I was a young adult...). But my husband's siblings are close in age and aren't close. So I think it has something to do with age and something to do with personalities. Everyone has an opinion when it comes to kids - take it all with a grain of salt and make the decision that's best for your family.

skio · May 2012

It's not your problem that she regrets having her kids close together and it's not her business what you choose to do. It's fine that she voiced her opinion, but that's the end of it. If she makes any more adamant comments, put her in her place with a polite, "Thank you for your opinion, but we're going to do what we think is best for our family."

jlpev:
Do you think kids should be spread out BC kids need more one on one time?

No, this makes no sense. Only the first kid gets "one-on-one" time. I personally want my kids close together. My brother and I were two years apart and it was great. H and his sister were four years apart and they both feel the age gap was too much. H and I have hence agreed to have kids 2-3 years apart. It's what works for us.

[Deleted User] · May 2012

What is your actual question?

Q 1: If the question is, "Has my MIL crossed the line by butting in where her opinion matters?"

A 1: Yes, and you should be able to make the decisions in your own life.

Q 2: "Does MILs concerns about spacing children have some merit to it? What are your experiences with this?"

A 2: Possibly, but again it's something that you & DH will need to discuss. There are pros/cons of close and farther spacing. You'll have to see what works best with your ideals, goals, and family.

Best of luck OP.

LadyXaverian · May 2012

Tell MIL she's not invited into your bedroom or your uterus. This is ridiculous and a non-issue, IMO.

Wufroggy79 · May 2012

Scout2005:
Your MIL is irrelevant in your TTC plans.

Exactly.

grr_aargh · May 2012

Put me in the MIL is irrelevant crowd.

I will say that mine are 3 1/2 and 4 1/2 years apart. I LOVE it that way, because the younger kid DOES get alone time when the older goes to preschool/school. I, personally, wouldn't have been cut out for entertaining a 2yo and taking care of a n00b. But that's me.

You knock yourself out with whatever you want.

epopp85 · May 2012

::Waves hi::

I know you IRL lol.

And I'm on the MIL is irrelevant boat. Here's what I tell mine:

Want a personalized experience?

mil wants me to wait for #2 till #1 is atleast 3

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