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Father's Day gift dilema

RhennaRhenna
in Blended Families

This is going to be our first Father's Day as a family.  Mother's Day was just me, FI and DS since FSS was with his mom. They pretty much just made me breakfast.  FSS is a bit older than DS and a very different personality.  We get along great and I love him but he hasn't taken to me the way that DS has taken to FI.  That may also be because we only have FSS every other weekend and he has been used to just having that time with his Dad.  DS on the other hand sees FI more than FSS does and he loves him to death.

FI really loves DS.  He has talked about getting DS's name tattooed on him just like he has FSS's and will be adding our baby's name once he comes.  He refers to having two boys in all of his FB posts and I know he sees DS as a son.  FSS I know is ok with their relationship up to an extent.  He never pushes DS out of interacting with FI but if someone refers to FI as DS's Dad, FSS is very quick to correct them that FI is HIS Dad not DS's.

For Father's Day I wanted to have FSS create a gift for FI.  A couple years ago FSS painted a picture on a t-shirt for FI that he just loves and wears all of the time.  I know he would prefer a handmade gift from FSS rather than something purchased.  So I've been looking on Pinterest and found some ideas but I'm kind of stuck.  There are ideas for photo collages and I thought maybe I could take some of his favorite pics of FSS and the ultrasound pics and do that or there are some painting type of gifts that have the childs hand prints.  But I can't work out if I should leave DS out?  I don't want to upset or push FSS since I know he is still working on sharing his Dad.  But if I leave DS out, I have a feeling FI will ask me why I didn't add DS.  And then years form now when FSS is more accepting of it, do we look back at this gift and not see DS there?  I just don't know what the right way to handle this is.

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Re: Father's Day gift dilema

  • Holly_1007Holly_1007 member

    is DS' father in the picture at all?

    I would do two separate things. have a discussion with FSS about what he wants to do for his dad for fathers day, and help him/ encourage him to do what he wants to celebrate.  have DS do something for FI as well, but it doesn't have to be a "joint" gift, or even the same idea.... and as for a gift from the baby, I think a card with a giftcard or a framed US pic is enough...

                           
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  • RhennaRhenna
    Yes DS's father is in the picture but we will have to celebrate Father's Day the weekend before or after actual father's day which means that DS will be there.  FI will be away the actual weekend of.  So no matter what we do DS will be involved the day we celebrate I just don't know if I should involve him in giving or making FI a gift.
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  • CFjo2010CFjo2010 member
    imageholly71087:

    is DS' father in the picture at all?

    I would do two separate things. have a discussion with FSS about what he wants to do for his dad for fathers day, and help him/ encourage him to do what he wants to celebrate.  have DS do something for FI as well, but it doesn't have to be a "joint" gift, or even the same idea.... and as for a gift from the baby, I think a card with a giftcard or a framed US pic is enough...

    ^^ This.  Have FSS do a gift that is geared towards his age, and have DS do a separate gift.  Give the boys options and have them each choose one.  And give FSS first choice.  I'm glad that you are sensitive to his feelings about learning to share Dad.  I really think that letting FSS pick his own gift idea first will help reassure him that no one's "edging" him out.  Maybe after gifts your FI and FSS can go do something one-on-one for a bit.

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  • HopeforthebestHopeforthebest member
    imageholly71087:

    is DS' father in the picture at all?

    I would do two separate things. have a discussion with FSS about what he wants to do for his dad for fathers day, and help him/ encourage him to do what he wants to celebrate.  have DS do something for FI as well, but it doesn't have to be a "joint" gift, or even the same idea.... and as for a gift from the baby, I think a card with a giftcard or a framed US pic is enough...

    I like this idea!

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  • RhennaRhenna
    Thanks for the suggestions!  I think I am going to see if FSS wants to make this leather cuff I found a DIY for and he can write whatever he wants on it.  Then I'm going to do this wooden block with some photos clipped to it of FSS, DS and the ultrasound pic and maybe a family pic of all of us and instead of saying anything Dad or Father related just have it say "We love you".  I also decided to get a pic of FSS and DS holding signs that say what they love about FI and I can post the pic on his FB on Father's Day while he is away at drill.  Yay for Pinterest!  I think FSS will like the cuff idea and DS won't really mind not making one.  He has too short of an attention span for something like that.
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  • Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
    Have both kids do their own craft and either choose the better or bigger one for FSS or let him choose. 
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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