Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
farmerlynda
member
Re: stopping PIO = barftastic?
i didn't get sick after stopping PIO, i'd been sick whole time
did you have u/s yet?
i hope the m/s stops soon.
Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, It empties today of its strength. ~Corrie ten Boom
Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. ~Mary Anne Radmacher (thank you beadinglady)
It's been a long journey. TTC since 9/06. multiple IUI's and IVF's and 4 m/c's. IVF#3 = BFP, twins, induced at 34w6d due to baby b passing away (no explanation). Delivered on 35w1d, Baby A - baby girl, and Baby B - baby boy, our little angel.
MTHFR A1298C & C677T, Immune Issues and Factor II
My nausea was pretty constant for the entire first trimester, but I think stopping the PIO gave me a brief reprieve from feeling completely barftastic. Within a week of being totally off hormones, though, I was feeling crappier than ever
The nausea/puking didn't stop for me until 15 weeks... and now that I've said that out loud, I will probably throw up tomorrow morning.
Me = lean PCOS;DH = poor morphology (3%)
3 IUI/TI cycles = BFN
IVF #1 with ICSI: antagonist protocol = BFFN
IVF #2 with ICSI : Lupron downregulation = BFFN...FML
IVF #3 with ICSI and AH (Antagonist) = IT'S A BOY!!!!
Jan 12: IVF #1 - BFP!
I stopped PIO as well, but am still on the inserts and estrogen pills, so the hormones are still rampant in me...I havent really puked at all yet, just nauseous ALL day. I eat all day to make it go away, and it doesnt.
Congrats on stopping the injections!! Your ass will thank you.
4 failed cycles of clomid, 1 Femara IUI = BFN IVF #1- results 3/20- BFN
FET - April 17 - 2 frosties 5aa
Beta #1 9dp6dt- 4/26 - 344 BFP!!
Beta #2 13dp6dt- 4/30- 1385
u/s scheduled for 5/16
3 furbabies (1 pug mix, 2 tabby cats)
SAIF/PAIF welcome
I did! I need to update my sig. We saw one little wiggly bean at 10w with an abdominal u/s
Now I'm getting excited to hopefully hear the hb on a doppler soon...
Severe MFI. Me: supposedly all clear but eggs showed vacuoles.
IVF #1 January 2012, ER Jan 14th: 34R, 27M, 23F. Day 3: 18 embies still strong. Day 5: zero "good," one "fair," the rest "poor." Transferred 3. None made it to blast or to freeze. Jan 28: BFN.
Lucky IVF #2: Transferred two beautiful day three embies on St. Patrick's Day. BFP on HPT 7dp3dt. Beta 1 (14dpER)=106; Beta 2 (16dpER)=140; Beta 3 (19dpER)=264! First u/s 4.17.
Hope is the thing with feathers - that perches in the soul - and sings the tune without the words - and never stops - at all - (Emily Dickinson)
After 6 long years of TTC and a traumatic birth... I finally got to hold my baby in my arms!
'Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.'Psalm 37:4
2006 start TTC
2007 Start w/ RE (Endo and MFI previous marriage)/ 2008 Vericocele surgery/3 clomid cycles
2009 Lap removed stage III endo/ 2 failed IUI/ Divorce
2011 Remarried
October 2011 Dx: Endo & DOR/ November 2011- clomid & TI cycle
January 2012 IVF~ Flare protocol 10 ER/ 9 mature fertilized with ICSI/ ET- 2 Grade A Blasts/ 4 frozen= BFN
Febuary 2012- -Endo Biopsy/ MTHFR diagnosis
March 8- FET 2 grade A blasts= BFP!!!!
November 2012- Charles was born by emergency C-Section
Dealing with:
Stage III Endo/ DOR/ MTHFR two mutations C677T & A1298C
Currently TTC #2 FET planned January 2014
It's funny that I had the exact opposite reaction. (Kobrie, I'm glad I'm not the only one!) I hope you didn't just jinx yourself, limpetfan... An IRL friend of mine said hers didn't go away until 16-18 weeks! But I think she's really the extreme exception. Hope yours is gone and stays away
Severe MFI. Me: supposedly all clear but eggs showed vacuoles.
IVF #1 January 2012, ER Jan 14th: 34R, 27M, 23F. Day 3: 18 embies still strong. Day 5: zero "good," one "fair," the rest "poor." Transferred 3. None made it to blast or to freeze. Jan 28: BFN.
Lucky IVF #2: Transferred two beautiful day three embies on St. Patrick's Day. BFP on HPT 7dp3dt. Beta 1 (14dpER)=106; Beta 2 (16dpER)=140; Beta 3 (19dpER)=264! First u/s 4.17.
Hope is the thing with feathers - that perches in the soul - and sings the tune without the words - and never stops - at all - (Emily Dickinson)
great news!! isn't it amazing
Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, It empties today of its strength. ~Corrie ten Boom
Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. ~Mary Anne Radmacher (thank you beadinglady)
It's been a long journey. TTC since 9/06. multiple IUI's and IVF's and 4 m/c's. IVF#3 = BFP, twins, induced at 34w6d due to baby b passing away (no explanation). Delivered on 35w1d, Baby A - baby girl, and Baby B - baby boy, our little angel.
MTHFR A1298C & C677T, Immune Issues and Factor II
Ummmm hello?!? Congrats Lynda!!! I've been wondering about your u/s, and was just thinking earlier of writing you to see what was up. So happy it went well
And yay for the end of PIO, I'm still excited every day when I don't have to do it! Sorry you aren't feeling well, it's frustrating.
Thanks so much for thinking of me
For some reason I'm so much more hesitant to post on PAIF than I was on IF/IFV/3T. I think it's a mental block. Like... do I really belong here? I still feel like an imposter most days! Maybe I need to get over it and PW it up just a little bit 
And yes, worms, it is the MOST amazing feeling in the world!!!
Severe MFI. Me: supposedly all clear but eggs showed vacuoles.
IVF #1 January 2012, ER Jan 14th: 34R, 27M, 23F. Day 3: 18 embies still strong. Day 5: zero "good," one "fair," the rest "poor." Transferred 3. None made it to blast or to freeze. Jan 28: BFN.
Lucky IVF #2: Transferred two beautiful day three embies on St. Patrick's Day. BFP on HPT 7dp3dt. Beta 1 (14dpER)=106; Beta 2 (16dpER)=140; Beta 3 (19dpER)=264! First u/s 4.17.
Hope is the thing with feathers - that perches in the soul - and sings the tune without the words - and never stops - at all - (Emily Dickinson)
I say do it! There are a lot of girls around here who are thinking about you and wondering how you're doing. You're no imposter honey, you are PAIF!
IUI#2 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 5-9) = BFN
IUI#3 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP!
beta #1 11/23 = 270, P4 = 75
beta #2 11/28 = 2055
Our daughter E was born 7/29/2012!
Surprise, our 2nd daughter P was born 5/22/14!
12dp5dt: 765; 15dp5dt: 1979; 17dp5dt: 3379...TWINS!!!!!
Our perfect baby boys were born at 36w1d!!
OMG!! Lynda, I can't tell you the level of stalking that has been going on. ;-) For some reason your u/s was a milestone for me in a way ... I am SO HAPPY and excited for you all over again. Sincere congratulations!!
And congrats to those poor hips for the relief of no more PIO. Sorry about the barfies...
Aww sweetie thanks so much
You seriously brought tears to my (hormonal) eyes! It's so good to "see" you, too. How are you? What are your plans for the future? You're one of the people I really miss!
Severe MFI. Me: supposedly all clear but eggs showed vacuoles.
IVF #1 January 2012, ER Jan 14th: 34R, 27M, 23F. Day 3: 18 embies still strong. Day 5: zero "good," one "fair," the rest "poor." Transferred 3. None made it to blast or to freeze. Jan 28: BFN.
Lucky IVF #2: Transferred two beautiful day three embies on St. Patrick's Day. BFP on HPT 7dp3dt. Beta 1 (14dpER)=106; Beta 2 (16dpER)=140; Beta 3 (19dpER)=264! First u/s 4.17.
Hope is the thing with feathers - that perches in the soul - and sings the tune without the words - and never stops - at all - (Emily Dickinson)
Yikes that is some intense nausea! It's strange that our LO's hormones seem to make us sicker than PIO. I'm so sorry you're still feeling sick... I hope it goes completely away soon.
Severe MFI. Me: supposedly all clear but eggs showed vacuoles.
IVF #1 January 2012, ER Jan 14th: 34R, 27M, 23F. Day 3: 18 embies still strong. Day 5: zero "good," one "fair," the rest "poor." Transferred 3. None made it to blast or to freeze. Jan 28: BFN.
Lucky IVF #2: Transferred two beautiful day three embies on St. Patrick's Day. BFP on HPT 7dp3dt. Beta 1 (14dpER)=106; Beta 2 (16dpER)=140; Beta 3 (19dpER)=264! First u/s 4.17.
Hope is the thing with feathers - that perches in the soul - and sings the tune without the words - and never stops - at all - (Emily Dickinson)
DH diagnosed with Testicular Cancer 8/2010
Low sperm count. Only option IVF with ICSI
Starting First cycle Jan/Feb 2012- Canceled due to not responding to BCP and/or Lupron
IVF 1.2- stims March 14, ER March 24, 16 R 10F 6 made it to blast
ET March 29- transferred two blasts, 4A and 4BA, froze 4
Positive HPT 9dp5dt Beta 1- 385 11dp5dt
u/s April 25- one healthy heartbeat
EDD 12/12/12>
:: lurking ::
Glad to hear that the bean is doing well even though m/s is taking its toll. I thought you dropped off this site as I had not seen posting by you for a while. Very very happy for you!!!!
Multiple ectopics, 2 failed IVF's
IVF #1: Did not get to ET, embies all failed PGD (major chromosomal defects)
IVF #2: We have 2 chromosomally perfect embies as a result of PGD (Boy/Girl) 1 failed the thaw (Girl) Transferred 1, yet ended as a c/p
Thought it was the end of our TTC Journey 6/20/2012
SHOCK BFP 9/28/2012: IT'S A BOY! and everything is normal !!!!!!
Little A born 38w 2d on 05/23/13 and is a true miracle for this IF Vet!
2/06 - surprise pregnancy - twins
3/06 - m/c 1st baby at 6 weeks
5/06 -2nd baby had no heartbeat at 14 wks.
D&E - Bled out. Blood transfusions. Week in ICU - Cheated Death!
Diagnosis: Blood clotting and bleeding disorder, immune issues, & cervical stenosis
5/10 - 1st IVF cycle - BFN
FET - 10/12/10 - BFN
1/11 - IVF with PGD - BFN
IVF - May - BFN
6/11 New RE - fingers crossed!
9/11 - IVF - 4 transferred
10/13 - BFP!!
It's a boy! Clint Michael, Due in June!!!
::another lurker::
So, so happy to hear your wonderful u/s news, Lynda!!! Been checking around here for any updates from you and I'm thrilled to read this! Sending you and your LO lots of happy thoughts.
Me: 39, Dx DOR (FSH = 10.5, AMH = 0.43, best AFC = 10), AMA
MH: 37, Dx Obstructive Azoospermia, multiple successful sperm retrieval procedures
2/2012: IVF/ICSI #2 MDLF (4R, 4M, 1F) = BFP, saw heartbeat, missed m/c 9w0d, D&E
8/2012: IVF/ICSI #3 EPP/MDLF (7R, 2M, 1F) = BFN
12/2012: (New RE) Operative hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue
1/2013: IVF/ICSI #4 Low-dose stim/Antagonist (AFC=6); ER=1/26 (5R-couldn't access rt ovary, 5M, 4F), ET=1/29 (trans 3) = BFP!; 2/11 beta#1(13dp3dt)=2127, 2/13=3367; twin girls due 10/19/13
PAIF/SAIF very welcome!
<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Pregnancy"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt16bf7d.aspx" alt=" BabyFruit Ticker" border="0" /></a>
And here I was so excited to stop Crinone and my Vivelle and estrodial and prometrium this week! Because I feel like all I do is take stupid meds! Haha
So glad to hear your u/s news farmerlynda! Everyone's right, we do think about you!