s/o baptism - wwyd? (Poll)

jlsimon56 · May 2012

We have not baptised LO yet.

We currently do not go to church. We also moved recently so we don't even have a church yet. My DH has no plans to attend church, ever. I would like to one day find a good church and attend regularly, with or without DH.

I am Baptist, DH is Episcopalian. MIL is a minister (Episcopal). She married us at her church, in her town (and therefore our wedding was in her town). (My parents have never said anything about this to me, but I am 100% certain that they would have preferred their daughter be married in her/their hometown.)

DH wants to baptise LO and wants to do it at his parents' church, and possibly have MIL do the baptism. He says he only wants to do it b/c it's important to MIL.

My parents do not feel as involved in our lives b/c we live in the same town as my ILs, which is about 2 hours from my parents. My parents go to a Baptist church.

I was baptised at the age of 2 so I feel no rush to do this. We have not gotten any hints from our parents about it at all yet. While I would like for LO to be baptised, I think that doing it just to do it is silly and not meaningful at all.

Would you:
A) Baptise LO at the Episcopal church.
Baptise LO at the Baptist church.
C) Not baptise LO.
D) Other?

[Poll]

GeneGoddess · May 2012

My parents lived outside the US when I was born and never got around to baptizing me. By the time they returned to the US and my sister was born, they had joined a church but thought that since they didn't baptize me they wouldn't bother with her. Go figure. If it is important to your MIL (moreso than to you and DH), let her do it. I think she would be honored to baptize her grandchild.

jmo866 · May 2012

I don't really know how to vote, if you see yourself bringing her to Church later in life, do you want it to be your Church, or MIL's church? I think that's the question. I don't know the differences between Baptist and Episcopalian, well I gather just from general knowledge, but I think you need to decide what faith you want her to grow up in. If you really don't want her to have a faith at all, and are just doing it to keep MIL and your H happy, then, I'd do her Church. Not sure if you were a Sex and the City fan, but it reminds me of what Steve said "If you don't believe, it's just water on the baby's head". Good luck, it is a tough decision!

mvhyde · May 2012

I am going to let LO do a believer's baptism (which is whenever he says he wants to be baptized that's when we will do it). That's just the way I feel, even though we go to a Presbyterian church and they do infant baptisms. I want it to be his choice because even though I had an infant baptism, when I was ~18 I got baptized because that's when I know that I truly accepted Christ.

The reason I chose the don't baptize LO option are:

1) I personally want LO to come to Christ and remember his own baptism. So take my opinion with a grain of salt. Also, I don't think that Baptists perform infant baptisms. They perform child baptisms but they (the child) have to have some understanding of what they are asking for.

2) I think that baptism should (optimal circumstance) be performed in a church where you have some sort of a relationship and when they ask 'do you promise to support this family in raising this child' it actually means something to the congregation. If you do it in your MIL's church the only person you have is your MIL.

If in the future you do find a church that you want to go to and it happens to be Episcopalian them I am sure that you could ask if your MIL could perform the baptism at the church. I am pretty sure that if you join any other reformed protestant or non-denominational church you could ask and they would probably say yes.

clineak · May 2012

I'm not sure how to vote, either. In our church (Foursquare/non-denominational), babies are "dedicated," and can be baptized later, when/if they make a decision to do so. In your case, since babies are baptized, I think I would wait until I was at a church I planned on attending with LO. I definitely wouldn't do it just to make my parents/ILs happy or because they feel it's the right thing to do.

swimiz500 · May 2012

We had been dealing with baptism issues as well, because my mom and her family are quite religious and wanted DD to be baptized. Neither DH or I are active in a church, nor do we particularly affiliate with any religion.

The decision I came to was the following: In my mom's church (Presbyterian), baptism of a baby is the parents' committal to raise the child in the church. I knew that I would be flat out lying if I said that I would be doing that, and I would not feel right about it. For the members of that church, it is a very sacred thing, and to stand up and lie seems really unfair to all those people who attend the church, and a really bad lesson for DD (even though she wouldn't understand now, she would some day).

Since you'd like to one day find a church, your best bet would just be to wait until you can make that commitment to that church, and then it will be special and meaningful for you and everyone else too. Good luck .

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