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CFjo2010
member
Ugh, seriously? Super long...
CFjo2010
member
I have been very involved with the PTA at my daughter?s school, as well as the PTA at K?s school since the start of the school year. While I haven?t been able to go to any of the meetings due to the kids? activities, I have dedicated a significant amount of time volunteering for the Walk-a-Thon, Holiday Store, Book Fair set-up and take-down, Parent Night Out events, donating items for the Bake Sales, working the Pancake Breakfast and making signs for school activities, and I?m on the planning committee for the year-end carnival. Now that R is transferring to be at school with K in the Fall, I?m able to be more involved since I won?t be splitting my time between 2 schools.
BM hasn?t gone to a single PTA meeting, and hasn?t volunteered for any of the activities. The PTA President and I have become quite close this school year and has been very vocal in her appreciation of my involvement. At one particular event that I was working, BM threw a fit that I was even there and the PTA President stepped in and told her that volunteer sign ups had been going on for several weeks and her failure to volunteer wasn?t any reason for me not to be there. That didn?t really go over well. A few months ago I was asked to be the PTA Secretary for next year, which I declined again to my inability to be at all the meetings due to the kids? various activities. So guess who pitched a big ol? fit when they found out I was offered the position and lobbied for it? Yup, BM.
I received an email from the PTA President after last week?s meeting. Apparently BM showed up to her first ever PTA meeting and threw a fit about "non-parents" involvement with school activities and demanded I be pulled from the carnival planning committee . She went over the calendar for next year and is attempting to change the Father-Daughter Dance from the first weekend in October (which it has been for a number of years) to the second weekend of October. What a coincidence, my husband has 1st, 2nd and 3rd weekends with K. So BM?s "first order of business" was to switch the weekend of the Father-Daughter Dance so that my husband can?t take K. Awesome. Her "demand" for my resignation was blatantly denied and she was again reminded that she?s more than welcome to volunteer for more activities. The PTA President wants me to take on the role of Treasurer so that I can be part of the votes for activities and hopefully reign in some of the imminent chaos. As much as I?d like to be a Board Member, I really don?t want to deal with BM. I really don?t. And I really can?t commit to being at the meetings on Thursdays in the Fall because of Karate, Cheer, Football and the factor of me being well into my 3rd trimester at that point. I fully intend to continue being actively involved and volunteer for activities as long as my pregnancy permits it. But I?m not going to take on a Board position just to fight with BM. I do enough of that already.
I guess my vent/question is: why on Earth would someone want to be an active member of the PTA just to further alienate a child from their father? Isn?t that rather counterproductive? I mean really, her first orders of business weren?t about raising more money for the school or increasing parental involvement, it was to remove step-parents from being involved and changing dates of activities. How does that improve the school or help the students, her daughter included?
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Re: Ugh, seriously? Super long...
It's just a competition/power thing. She's not thinking about what's best for K or the school or anything like that.
For some reason schools really bring it out in a lot of parents. DS's school has volunteer requirements (18 hours/year), and I hear parents all the time bragging about having 40 or 50 hours or more. And by the second half of the year, some parents would shank someone to get in on a field trip.
Honestly, it's sick that BM can not find the time to volunteer at her daughter's school as a way to give to the school community, but suddenly finds time to join in to cause problems with you and your H. She needs to get a life of her own!!!
What a laugh that she wants you kicked off of the committees. Obviously BM doesn't realize that schools will take all the help they can get, and would gladly welcome friends, parents, grandparents, etc.!!!
^^ Thankfully this school doesn't have volunteer requirements, but it does strongly "encourage" volunteers. And I love helping out because I know that ultimately, it helps K and soon my other daughter. I can't imagine what would happen if volunteer hours were mandatory! The school does a ton of activities so people would have no problem getting their hours, but if people were forced to volunteer and help out I'm sure the quality and enjoyment of the activities would plummet.
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Oddly enough, at times I'm embarrassed for her too.
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It really should be terrible, but it's not. When you enroll your kid, you have to agree to do the hours. So you still end up in a situation where everyone wants to be there. And they offer lots of take home/weekend/after hours opportunities, so even people who work crazy hours can manage it.
Until you posted this, the thought of XH volunteering had never even entered my head. I still can't even picture it, lol.
Wow... That is simply incredible... That a human being would go out of her way to make life more difficult for you and your DH...and what's worse, at the expense of her own child.
Um so i guess she forgot that you ARE a parent.
*head**desk*
Im not on PTA our school not to big into it... Its small and everyone has to pitch in when they can just to keep it open...I go to all the parties and events for SD her BM never shows up to hers...but gos to the 2 brothers things way to go mom huh... well it just pushs my buttons that she comes to graduations/end of yr awards and takes home all the awards and such... Im the one helping SD get those spending 2-3 hrs with her on HW and supporting her in all her activities and supplying all the party food and treats... but we don't get to display Sd's awards... and saddest part is SD told us her mommy threw her awards away last yr
Some BM are all about showing power that they are the BM and want to show they CAN... It sucks hope it gets better but prolly not from the sounds of it 
The award should go to the CHILD, not the mother!
^^ as sad as this is, it's true. Unless there's an audience (or she finds out I'm going to be there) she's just not that involved.
I understand parents work and not everyone can volunteer as much as I've been able to, and I don't fault any of them for not being as involved. Not even BM. But be involved for the RIGHT reason, not just to try and assert some sort of power or control.
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