Those who have or will be home with other kids after C.

oohgrrl11 · May 2012

When I had DS via my first C, DH was laid off from him job and it was winter so we all hibernated together. It was so nice! I had no pressure to do anything except to care for DS (with DH helping) and to get better.

This time I have DS who is 2.5 and DH will be at work. I will also have my wild nephew who is 7. I am very nervous about how I am going to handle this all. I have posted about the nephew situation and there really isn't a way around it. My sister can't afford to pay someone and the other person who would do it for free has an accused molester (never enough evidence to charge him) living with them. So I'm just going to have to suck it up and do it. So I will have him FT for 3 weeks and after that he will be in summer school so I will just have him for 2 hours in the afternoon.

So my question is, did you or will you come home to other kids and if so how did you/will you handle it all? DH could take time off but it would be unpaid which we really can't afford.

HarrietNJMommy · May 2012

I'll come home to 3 other kids of my own. You just figure out a way.......it's hard in the beginning because you need to find your groove, but it all works out.

GL!

pinkmoonlight · May 2012

I am not in this situation yet, but will be a week from Tuesday. I am having my LO on Wednesday. DH will be taking off next Wednesday to the following Monday (Memorial Day) and will go back to work Tuesday. Then it will be me, DD who is 21 months old and LO. We have planned in every way we can to try and prepare DD for the fact that I will not be able to pick her up. She is in a toddler bed and we have talked about Mama having the baby and having owwies on my tummy. I am hoping that the few days we will all be at home that we will be able to get some of the challenges worked out. Otherwise I will deal with it as it happens.

My mom said if I need someone that she or my sister can come out and help. We also have a neighbor that stays at home with her kids that if I REALLY need something I would feel comfortable calling her and asking for help.

Do you have any friends or neighbors that you could call if you would need them? Or family?

Daisy22 · May 2012

I'm coming home to a 3yo and 20 month old. My c/s is on a friday so dh will be off friday - monday and then he'll go back to work tuesday - thursday but my mom will still be here. Then dh is taking the week of july 4th off since my oldest 2 don't have school that week. After that I'll be on my own, my oldest two will still go to school three days a week though.

With Ds2, I came home to a 15month old and was on my own after a 1 1/2wk. I made do and really it wasn't that bad. I tried not to lift ds1 very much who was/is a big boy for his age. There is no way I could have stayed inside for one I'd go crazy and another ds1 would have lost it. I got a baby k'tan and just wore ds2 everywhere.

Monicagail1 · May 2012

I came home to a 23 month old DD. I was pretty much on my own by the third day home. It depends on the kids, but in my case it wasn't that bad. My DD is pretty independent, so that helped. She can climb up on to chairs by herself, etc so there weren't many times I had to worry about lifting her.

I would say try to prepare the kids ahead of time so they're not shocked by your limitations. Encourage your DS to do what he can on his own, etc. Try to plan ahead and have some things to occupy their time that are easy for you to supervise. We watched a lot of Sesame Street, colored, and read books, etc.

jjhp2018 · May 2012

I'll be coming home to a 12.5 month old and a first grader I will have to get back and forth to school because school will start a few days before my CS *unless baby comes early on her own*.

I agree with pp that you/we will find a groove. Dh works on the river and is trying to plan out staying a week at home but who knows how that will work out.

girlsonly · May 2012

I have four other daughter's a dh a goat and a c section in 15 days I am not scared I am ready for the challenge

teachermother · May 2012

I came home to a 2 1/2 year old and felt completly overwhelmed due to lots and lots of post pardum anxiety and depression. Since my husband went back to work my DD is going to daycare during the day for another week (which will put me at 2 weeks pp) I am hoping my emotions are a little more controlled by then. Its been a struggle and was with my 1st child also, trying to get it in check w/o meds so I can continue to bf. I am pretty good as long as I can get enough sleep and don't get utterly exhausted thats when it is the worst. I feel like a terrible mom for sending my oldest to daycare but I just realized after what I went through with her that I have to take some time to myself and the new baby 1st. Good Luck!

Happybunchof8 · May 2012

I will be coming home to 7 other little children this time around.. In the past my husband has been deployed so I was literally on my own (all 7 were c/s).

First, try to stay in the hospital as long as they will let you. I know you'll feel fine and want to leave, but there is a BIG difference in having to take care of just you and baby with meals being made for you and the bathroom just a few steps away to coming home to other children. In Germany we stay in the hospital 6 days. My first was the only one born in the US and I was sent home the very next day after my c/s. The more rest I had, the stronger I was coming home and could "be" at home and not have to stay in bed.

Second, take each day (or each moment) one step at a time. It takes a while to get into a routine. I found that some kids did better when I included them as much as possible. Maybe you could make your nephew your helper. Let him get you diapers or whatever.

Third, set up a nursing/feeding station. Whenever I sat down to nurse, I had water for me and for my little ones, as well as a snack for us all. I'd read to the little ones as they sat next to me, on me or on the arm of the chair. I'd also put in videos. Don't fret about the amount of tv time. You do what you have to do to get through the days. Let your nephew play with play doh or legos etc.

Fourth, plan easy meals. Quick, microwavable etc. We did LOTS of cereal and sandwiches. Maybe your hubby can help make up some meals so you can just heat and serve. Hopefully you'll have some friends who will offer help and you can let them bring you meals. If you have VERY good friends, they will leave the food and go-and not "visit" until you are ready!

Fifth, during the mid afternoon- we all took naps/rested when baby did. When I had just a few littles with me, we'd all climb in my bed and I'd put a movie on for them to watch as I snoozed with baby in my arms. As the littles got a little bigger, I'd rest on the couch and still have them put a movie in.

Lastly, get a Moby Wrap, Ergo carrier or Baby Bjorn. Once baby is done eating I strap them on and get to "work"!

Go easy on yourself. Know what makes your nephew wild and try to plan for those times. Use his interests to your advantage. Most kids want to feel important and if you make him your special helper that might control some of his wild. If you can, even go for a short walk to get you both exercise and fresh air. Might help his wildness too.

You're going to do great!!!

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