How Are Day-to-Day Responsibilities Divided In Your Home?

ateal2490 · May 2012

Are you a SAHM? Do you work full time/part time?

Which day to day chores/tasks are you responsible for? How about your SO?

ateal2490 · May 2012

And of course, I'll go first.

SAHM mom here.

Chores/Tasks:

Me: Laundry, housework (about 85-90% these days) most meal prep, finances, feeding LO (obviously), baby night shift, bath time

H: Work, trash, doggy duty/cat litter

Shared: diaper duty (about 70/30) baby day shift (until its time to eat).

WildcatPrincess · May 2012

On a day to day basis: I make dinner, he does dishes, I do the rabbit box, he does the cage, he does bath time, I do bedtime. We each do our own laundry and throw the kids' clothes in as needed. He does trash and lawn mowing, I do bathrooms. Everything else we have on a whiteboard with the date it was last done and on the weekends we take turns on baby duty so the other can pick up. Our house is pretty much a disaster at most times, but I've come to terms with it....kind of.

dojo1 · May 2012

I'm home for a year on mat leave. While I'm home I do 75 % child care, 95% of all interior cleaning and groceries as well as finances. DH still does exterior care, garbage and cat litter. When I was working I did dusting, kitchen cleaning and bathrooms, DH did vacuuming and floor care, I would make one dinner he would make one too (we only cook twice a week and make sure we have enough of each meal to last us three nights with one night of dining out). I did finances and we both did groceries together.

I have no issues with the way we divide our work. My DH does a lot and I don't have to ask him to do it... But it took years of training to do get here!!

Sclines2595 · May 2012

DH and I both work Full Time. I take care of 99% of the child care. I do all diapers, all feedings, all bath times, and always put LO to bed. I say 99% because if i am in the shower or doing something DH will take over with no problems. He will feed LO when I ask and helps out when possible but he works a lot and works 2nd shift- which means that when I am home with LO, DH is at work....when I am at work and LO is at the sitters DH is at home or working overtime. We don't see each other much. I cook 100% of the meals in our home and do 95% of the housework (although I've been slacking lately). DH will pitch in and do a load of laundry or put dishes away and will sometimes run the vacuum. DH is in charge of finances (because I have a terrible memory when it comes to paying bills) and mowing the yard.

Luvmy2sons · May 2012

I'm a SAHM, but I work PT (about 2-3hrs. a night, 2, 3, 4 nights a week - depending... but i'm off right now). DH does cat boxes, dog poopy outside, all outside care, trash mostly. We share dishes, child care... most times i'll start making dinner, and now if baby gets hungry mid-dinner cooking he'll take over. He's also been helping with house cleaning. I'm really pretty lucky, but he works some pretty awesome hours - (he's home by lunch), so it helps.

PinkPeony6210 · May 2012

I'm on leave until the end of August (I'm a teacher), but we both work full time.

Kids - I mainly take care of Kate, as DH isn't comfortable with tiny babies. However, when he's home, he takes care of Ella. I'm in charge of the bedtime routine.

Home - I am a lucky girl, as DH doesn't mind cleaning, cooking (I meal plan, though), and doing laundry. He takes care of the outside, such as maintaining the yard, but I water the flowers and vegetables. We really divide up a lot of the work, and try to help eachother out as much as we can...it makes life easier for the both of us.

I must add that we both give eachother time to work out on a daily basis. He gets home at 4:30, works out, and then I go for a run afterwards. He will usually finish preparing dinner at that time, and then I'll clean up while he's with the kids.

Christina_Diane · May 2012

I work full time, as a teacher. I don't go back until August 6.

Right now I take care of LO at night, feed him throughout the day, and hlp out dh. He does everything else. He is having shoulder surgery next week, so that is about to change.

Before LO, we shared all cleaning responsibilities, and we cooked and cleaned up together with him being the main cook.

I am really lucky in regard to my mil raising dh to not think of housework and cooking as a woman only thing.

We have a gardener who comes once a week to take care of our lawn.

CPhillz · May 2012

I do 99% of baby duty. DH isn't totally comfortable with tiny babies, and Cam loves his mommy. :-) I do most picking up and cleaning of the house, but he will take over the basement and his office. He also does most of the cooking, and takes care of the dog/cats and the lawn.

erniebufflo · May 2012

I stay at home and until this semester was a part time grad student (2 classes/term). Despite 5 years of marriage, we've never formally divvied up chores or had a conversation where we assigned tasks.

As far as the house: I like to cook, so grocery shopping and cooking is generally my turf. I'm most likely to start a load of wash, but hubby probably folds/puts away the clothes as often as I do. I'm more likely to be bothered by the tumbleweeds of dog hair on the floors, so I tend to sweep/vacuum. He's generally the one who cleans bathrooms. Dusting only happens when someone is coming over and we both quickly get it done.

As far as the babies: if he's home, we generally each feed and change a baby when it's time to do so. At night, we each take one feeding so we can get more sleep.

ETA: dishes are also generally a shared chore. Depending on the meal, one of us loads the dishwasher. We often unload the dishwasher together while hanging out and talking in the kitchen.

KFCupcake · May 2012

We are both working from home right now. We don't have "assigned" duties, we share pretty much everything. The only thing he does all of the time is take the garbage out. I consider myself fortunate to have him here and he's very hands on with everything.

vtwd40 · May 2012

I'm still sort of waiting to see how this all pans out. We both teach, so I don't have to go back until AUgust, and he's in the throws of the end of the year madness right now. (he's a band director, so he has a lot to get ready for next year right now) Right now, I do most of the baby stuff. He doesn't get home until almost 8, so there's not much to do when he gets here. He's been gone weekends too with stuff, so it's been rough, though he did take her last night at 3 when she wouldn't go back to sleep. He does trash, yardwork, ironing (it's all his!), and helps clean up around the house. I do bathrooms, general cleaning, anything kitchen related including cooking. We share laundry, except I do the diaper laundry.

School ends this week, so things will even out with the baby. I think he feels bad that he doesn't do a ton with her, so I'm excited to let him help out. He's so good with her when he has the chance.

AshleyC0117 · May 2012

I'm a SAHM.

-I take care of the baby including all of the night feedings.

-Meal planning for the week

-Straighten up/light cleaning throughout the day

DH:

-helps me with baby from about 7pm until 11pm when he's home from work.

-Food shopping

-Cooking

-Feeds dogs and walks them morning and evening

Also-- We have our laundry sent out, a cleaning service once a week, a dog walker for the afternoon walk and we eat a lot of delivery/take out food.

laf10 · May 2012

Since I'm on maternity leave until August, I take care of LO about 90% of the time. DH comes home and cuddles him, changes random diapers here and there,and will take him for an hour or two if I'm super exhausted and need a nap.

Around the house, DH does a lot since LO has been here. He's always cooked more than me, but now he does most of the cleaning too, and mostly takes care of the pets. I do laundry and some random cleaning, wash dishes, and help out with the pets some.

I'm not sure how it'll change once I go back to work.

Sclines2595 · May 2012

Mos3:

Sclines2595:
DH and I both work Full Time. I take care of 99% of the child care. I do all diapers, all feedings, all bath times, and always put LO to bed. I say 99% because if i am in the shower or doing something DH will take over with no problems. He will feed LO when I ask and helps out when possible but he works a lot and works 2nd shift- which means that when I am home with LO, DH is at work....when I am at work and LO is at the sitters DH is at home or working overtime. We don't see each other much. I cook 100% of the meals in our home and do 95% of the housework (although I've been slacking lately). DH will pitch in and do a load of laundry or put dishes away and will sometimes run the vacuum. DH is in charge of finances (because I have a terrible memory when it comes to paying bills) and mowing the yard.

I believe our DH's have the same career and this is kind of the way we do things too! I take care of our finances though because DH has the terrible memory! He will do bath/bedtime on his nights off and will also help with the kids before work (even though I'm home on maternity leave) Also, both kids will be with him in the morning before going to work and not with the sitter (DS1 was always home with him before DS2 came).

We actually have been having a rough time lately because he has not been helping as much as I needed him to. After weeks of fighting I finally realized that I need to tell him what I need him to do as opposed to thinking he will just do it like me! He's trying to do more now.

Yes - I think they do --- Gotta love Cops and their unpredictable busy crazy schedules

sometimesalwayschaotic · May 2012

eI generally do the cleaning and laundry. We both take care of dish duty. I take care of the kids during the day since I SAH. When DH comes home he usually is on diaper duty. When DH is home he'll feed DD2 while I pump. We are both on nightime duty since DD refuses to nurse and will only take a bottle. I pump while he gives the bottle. He mows the lawn and takes out the trash. I would say our duties are pretty well divided and he is awesome about helping out around the house.

SweetPea681 · May 2012

I do all baby care, laundry (except the rare occasion when DH does his own or a load of towels), cleaning, and cart kids wherever they need to go.

DH does all the bills, cooking when he is home, and does DS1's bath time and entertains him during the day. He also does anything that pertains to the guinea pig he bought DS1 for his birthday without consulting me.

By the time it's all said and done, the work is split about 70/30 right now. It will be more evenly split when I go back to work next month though... He will be home by himself with both kids from 7:30 til 2 every day.

DiamondDani · May 2012

I'm a SAHM. I do all the cleaning, housework, & laundry. I also do 99% of baby related things.

DH works full time & has a part time job. He cooks dinner every night that he's home, does the garbage, Cat boxes & outdoor chores.

We go grocery shopping & run errands together every Sunday.

I will say one thing that makes a big difference is DH picks up after himself. He rinses dishes & puts them in the dishwasher, puts laundry in the hamper, etc. I don't feel like I ever have to "pick up after him" even though I do all the cleaning. I appreciate him working so hard to make it possible for me to stay home with our daughter.

Mamasaurus · May 2012

I'm a SAHM and we're still figuring it out around here. H has been doing the pet care and all the outdoor home/yard maintenance, and I have been trying to do dishes, laundry, and other cleaning. When babysaurus cluster feeds for 2-3 hours, though, and I have to hustle just to make and eat some food before she needs a change and wants to eat again, I don't get much done. Thank goodness my MIL is amazing and helps us out so much.

Hopefully she gets on a schedule soon and I can at least go back to my pregnancy-era responsibilities, where I did all the stuff I am trying to do now plus grocery shop without H and do the important "extras" like call around for comparisons on different 529 plans.

eav2c · May 2012

I'm at SAHM. We don't have divvied up chores. I primarily do everything but that's brcsuse I'm an extremely prideful person and OCD about my home. However, DH will do whatever I ask -- whenever I need it. With that said, he takes out all the trash and cooks tons of dinners. We don't have a big home and I have deep clean Fridays so the other 6 days there isn't tons to do. DH takes 90% of diaper feedings when he is home, too. He's in the process of writing an app (like for your phone or iPad) as a side job so he does that a majority of that while home but does it all in the living room for LO and I too cheer him on!! Woohoo!

Ruby412 · May 2012

I am a teacher, but home until August, 2013, so currently a SAHM.

I do 100% of the cooking (but that is because I like to choose what we eat), 99% of the dishes, 95% of the laundry and 90% of the baby care (he sleeps in a separate room during the week and sleeps through night changes/feedings in our room on the weekends). He loves to snuggle and hold our daughter, but only does diaper changes and soothes crying occasionally. We go grocery shopping together these days because I needed help from the c-section with carrying everything.

We have someone who comes in to clean the house, so neither of us do big things like vacuuming, toilets, showers, etc. We both straighten up when necessary for company and things.

DH works long hours and currently pays all of the bills. He mostly takes out the garbage, but I will too. He takes care of all of our finances and financial planning.

I sometimes get frustrated that I do way more than he does around the house, but I try to remind myself that we each contribute to the family in our own important way.

Also, DH will truly do anything I specifically ask him to do. He just won't go ahead and take the initiative himself. So, if I want him to do more or get certain things done, I just have to write him a To Do email, and he will do!

mumegs · May 2012

I work, but I'm on maternity leave right now. I do mostly all of the baby stuff, including night time. I try to do laundry and dishes while she's resting but that's about it. DH does all the cooking and cleaning. He will stay home with her part time once I go back to work.

gekeler6 · May 2012

DH takes out the trash and recylcing (most of the time I need to remind him), and lawn care (good lord did I get barked out for mowing the lawn once!), and he cooks. Other than that I do the other stuff like laundry, bathrooms, kitchen, bathing, dusting. My kids also have chore charts and I help them with their chores. DH will do things, but I have to ask, and I have to be specific. My DH can be a pig and leaves whatever he uses out, drives me nuts, but I gotta pick my battles!

FusionLMT · May 2012

I am mainly a SAHM (work <10 hours a week). Our responsibilities have been naturally divvied up over time.

We have a maid service every other week for the deep cleaning.

I tidy up, keep everything going (dishes, laundry, vacuuming, etc.). Run all errands and do finances. Keep kids fed and relatively clean. Do nighttime baby duty.

He does lawncare, cleans up after I make dinner, does bedtime with DS and get hims up and ready in the morning. He'll help more on the weekends and do laundry and dishes then, and make breakfasts on the weekends.

We have an even split of childcare responsibilities when he is home. While I am working he watches the kids.

starbound6 · May 2012

I'm late to this but I'll put my 2 cents in anyway:)

I'm SAHM. I do 99% of baby care (DH does bath) and inside housework incl. cooking (we have a cleaner though)

DH does 99% toddler care (when he's home) and outside housework, incl. cat stuff.

It's fair and I'm not fussed about it. We're both super busy with our "stuff" to do.

lauranicole91 · May 2012

DH and I both work part time. We work in retail though, so the weekends mean nothing. I work a set schedule of 32.5 hours a week working 6 days a week with Thursday off. DH works around 25 hours a week and always has Thursday off with me. We set out availability to where we work opposite schedules to avoid daycare, but made it to where we have at least one day off together so we still have a dedicated family day.

As far as responsibilities go, DH is on diaper duty when home, he has sole responsibility of the dogs-taking them out and such. And I have sole responsibility of laundry. Other than that, we take turns, or just do it if its bother us(dirty kitchen with piles of dishes for example). It works in our household. And based on a lot of statistics and comparing to friends and family, DH does a lot more than the average hubby. He goes above and beyond, which balances out my horrible laziness.

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