Ugh. That moment when another kid notices your kids are different. — The Bump
Special Needs

Ugh. That moment when another kid notices your kids are different.

We were at a party and a little girl (7 or 8) said, "Do they talk?" and I said "No, not yet". She said "Well, CAN they talk?" I said, "No, not yet". 

Later she said, "My Mom was calling Garret and he didn't answer. He didn't even look. It was like he didn't hear her - he just kept eating his pretzel and staring away".

So I said, "He has a hard time understanding sometimes. He learns a little differently".

The kid handled it like a champ - she said, "Oh, I get it. OK, that's cool! Awesome, actually!" 

It's just a small glimpse into a lifetime of questions like this. It sucks.

** Calling all Angels...I won't give up if you don't give up...I need a sign to let me know you're here**
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Re: Ugh. That moment when another kid notices your kids are different.

  • image CrazeyJaneyR:

    We were at a party and a little girl (7 or 8) said, "Do they talk?" and I said "No, not yet". She said "Well, CAN they talk?" I said, "No, not yet". 

    Later she said, "My Mom was calling Garret and he didn't answer. He didn't even look. It was like he didn't hear her - he just kept eating his pretzel and staring away".

    So I said, "He has a hard time understanding sometimes. He learns a little differently".

    The kid handled it like a champ - she said, "Oh, I get it. OK, that's cool! Awesome, actually!" 

    It's just a small glimpse into a lifetime of questions like this. It sucks.

    :-

    I guess kids are going to ask questions, etc.  It's good that she was so understanding.  I think in the last 2 weeks P saw a child in a chair, with a walker, and an older baby with a limb deformity.  I am doing my best to teach her that those things are all OK and not to say anything insensitive but it's hard.

    I'm sure for most parents, who are oblivious to kids having delays or disabilities, they never have a conversation about 'differences' with a young child.  

    Hugs.  I feel like the questions are easier now..I used to freeze when people would ask me how P was after we got her CP diagnosis.  Literally freeze.  

    DD1(4):VSD & PFO (Closed!), Prenatal stroke, Mild CP, Delayed pyloric opening/reflux, Brachycephaly & Plagiocephaly, Sacral lipoma, Tethered spinal cord, Compound heterozygous MTHFR, Neurogenic bladder, Urinary retention & dyssynergia, incomplete emptying, enlarged Bladder with Poor Muscle Tone, EDS-Type 3. Mito-Disorder has been mentioned

    DD2(2.5): Late term premie due to PTL, low fluid & IUGR, Reflux, delayed visual maturation, compound heteroygous MTHFR, PFAPA, Bilateral kidney reflux, Transient hypogammaglobulinemia, EDS-Type 3


  • I know how you feel :( we got that this weekend. A little 4 year old boy came up to Jackson and was tickling his feet when he noticed he didn't have any toes and very sweetly and innocently asked "what happened to his feet?" we just told him that's how he was born and he just went right back to tickling.

    Kids are naturally curious, it really doesn't bother me because I get it from kids often. It's the adults who stare and think I can't hear when they are talking about him that break my heart.

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  • Yes it definitely sucks. Sounds like you handled it very well though! Hugs!
  • Glad the little girl reacted so well. We had a little boy at the playground the other day ask me what kind of baby DD was. I wasn't sure what to say so I just said she was a girl baby lol. Older kids are starting to look/stare at her now. Kids my oldest DS's age(6) don't really notice too much but any older and we gets long looks and stares. It stinks and sometimes I want to pick her up and run away and yell to stop staring.

    I just always try to make it into a positive experience though, its just really hard.

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  • annibesannibes
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    We were at a playground once and a little boy about 4 years old announced, "I don't like that boy because he doesn't talk," after trying to ask O his name and what he wanted to play. His mother was mortified, I was sad for O and felt like a failure (as a mommy and SLP), but O was happily chattering away in his babble-speak and playing his own brand of tag with the boy. I'm going to remember that for a good long time.. 

  • I know - we had a moment this weekend too.  We were at my son's soccer practice and a little girl said "Mommy, see that little girl.  She goes to pre-school at my school - isn't she so cute?" and then whispered something in her moms ear.  I guess for now, I'll just be happy we get the "she's so cute!"
  • I'm always getting the "why doesn't he talk" thing or "what's he saying???"  from the other kids

    and then the "I don't understand what you're saying" from the adults.  Even worse. 

    I feel like wearing a sign that says "just leave my kid alone and let him be a kid".

     

  • This weekend we visited with the in laws, and my son began playing with his cousin who is two months older.   His cousin looked at him and then his parents and just kept saying how my lil guy doesn't talk.  It honestly broke my heart.  He is two and a half and the first time any child has ever pointed out how different my son is. 

    It really broke my heart as a parent.  I want my lil guy to be happy and comfortable in his world.  One of my biggest worries is how the world will treat him.  I can hire therapists, and doctors to help him, but I can't keep others from pointing out how different he is, or how he lacks in their eyes.  

    It didn't help that it was his cousin, and his parents did NOTHING to try to explain to him that everyone is different.  

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