SD`s recital vent

cole2144 · May 2012

So yesterday was SD`s first dance recital. My husband asked if he could take a picture of SD in her costume. BM she said no. He asked if he could come early or stay after to see her in the costume and get a picture, BM again said no. She claimed SD was not allowed to keep her costume on after the show which I might have believed if there were not dozens of kids in costumes milling around after their numbers. It would have taken 2 seconds. She finally agreed to let us see her before the show but not in her costume so at least we got to give her flowers. Then BM has the nerve to call later and ask if DH would switch weekends again with her. He had already switched this weekend so she could get her ready for recital. Umm hello, you can`t let us get one picture of SD in her costume but you want a favor?!? Not gonna happen.

Littlejen22 · May 2012

cole2144:
So yesterday was SD`s first dance recital. My husband asked if he could take a picture of SD in her costume. BM she said no. He asked if he could come early or stay after to see her in the costume and get a picture, BM again said no. She claimed SD was not allowed to keep her costume on after the show which I might have believed if there were not dozens of kids in costumes milling around after their numbers. It would have taken 2 seconds. She finally agreed to let us see her before the show but not in her costume so at least we got to give her flowers. Then BM has the nerve to call later and ask if DH would switch weekends again with her. He had already switched this weekend so she could get her ready for recital. Umm hello, you can`t let us get one picture of SD in her costume but you want a favor?!? Not gonna happen.

He should have told her that next time he would blnot switch weekends and that he would get her ready. It was his weekend, could he have just walked backstage with the camera? Was her problem that she would not her DH or she would not let you?

Sigir · May 2012

Littlejen22:
He should have told her that next time he would blnot switch weekends and that he would get her ready. It was his weekend, could he have just walked backstage with the camera? Was her problem that she would not her DH or she would not let you?

A lot of times men are not allowed backstage bc the girls are changing. But IMO there is no reason that he could not have waited outside the changing area for her to come out to see her... that is a public area and BM has no rights to tell him he can't be there (at least that is what it is like at all the recitals I have been at).

It sounds like maybe he is tiptoeing around and giving BM more power than she should have b/c of the lack of CO- hopefully you get that soon OP because he will have a lot more leverage then and should feel more confident!

Wahoo · May 2012

wendilea:
I agree with Sigir. Stop bending over backwards to accommodate her, stop walking on eggshells to not upset her. Get the CO in place and she won't have this power over your DH anymore.

Ditto this!

Also, you can try calling the dance studio directly and asking if you can still order pics. Our photo package was $25 for a group photo of the whole class, 1 8x10, 2 5x7 and 4 wallets (that was the cheapest option).

CFjo2010 · May 2012

Wahoo:

wendilea:
I agree with Sigir. Stop bending over backwards to accommodate her, stop walking on eggshells to not upset her. Get the CO in place and she won't have this power over your DH anymore.

Ditto this!

Also, you can try calling the dance studio directly and asking if you can still order pics. Our photo package was $25 for a group photo of the whole class, 1 8x10, 2 5x7 and 4 wallets (that was the cheapest option).

First off, what a b!tch. I am so sorry you and your husband had to deal with this. I agree with PPs: next time tell her you will not switch weekends and that you will be getting her ready for the recital. Her behavior is completely vindictive and she's out of line. One picture wouldn't have hurt, and I guarantee SD would have felt so amazing knowing that Daddy wanted a picture of her.

Secondly, call the dance studio and explain the situation. Don't worry about coming acrross as pushy or overbearing. Tell them you need to order some photos and I'm sure they'll figure something out. SD is probably not the only child in their program from a blended family.

karatechrissy · May 2012

I'm sorry, but my husband would have laughed in BM's face. He seriously asked her permission to take a picture of HIS OWN DAUGHTER? No wonder she said no, he gave her the power to do so. Your H needs to not be a doormat to BM. HE allowed that to happen... Now that it is over, I would contact the dance company myself and order pictures. Go over BM's head. She can't dictate things like this. He really needs to grow some balls, in my not so humble opinion. He asked permission!! I'm baffled by this!! Is anyone else reading this thinking 'really??'? On a side note, I'm sorry BM was such a B, and that she used the power your H gave her to hurt you guys.

EDIT: I forgot there was no CO. STILL, he needs to show her he isn't going to back down in little things like this. DO NOT switch weekends!!

cole2144 · May 2012

karatechrissy:

I'm sorry, but my husband would have laughed in BM's face. He seriously asked her permission to take a picture of HIS OWN DAUGHTER? No wonder she said no, he gave her the power to do so. Your H needs to not be a doormat to BM. HE allowed that to happen... Now that it is over, I would contact the dance company myself and order pictures. Go over BM's head. She can't dictate things like this. He really needs to grow some balls, in my not so humble opinion. He asked permission!! I'm baffled by this!! Is anyone else reading this thinking 'really??'? On a side note, I'm sorry BM was such a B, and that she used the power your H gave her to hurt you guys.

EDIT: I forgot there was no CO. STILL, he needs to show her he isn't going to back down in little things like this. DO NOT switch weekends!!

The only reason he asked her is because BM had her for the weekend so she would be the one taking her to the show. He wanted to make sure he would get there early enough or stay after to the show to see her. She said not in her costume but we still showed up early and gave her flowers so SD knew her Daddy was there to support her. We did wait outside the changing area but BM changed her right after her number so we could not see her. It just sucks that she would not bring her out to allow DH to see her since men where not allowed backstage and you needed a wristband and BM had it. We figured out later that when SD came off stage she would have to walk down the hallway to the dressing area and we could have easily gotten one then had we known. BM did not volunteer that info even though she knew this because she had already done this for one other show. It sucks because had we known she would be like that DH would never have allowed her to switch. Now she wants another one of our weekends but she damn sure won`t be getting it now. My husband told her its a two way street and she told him "stop worrying about what`s fair" uhh are you kidding me?!

P.S. You can say grow a pair all you want but BM threatens to keep SD from him which is possible without a CO. Oh and he was trying to do the best thing for SD and not cause a scene at her show but you can`t get that?

Littlejen22 · May 2012

cole2144:
karatechrissy:

I'm sorry, but my husband would have laughed in BM's face. He seriously asked her permission to take a picture of HIS OWN DAUGHTER? No wonder she said no, he gave her the power to do so. Your H needs to not be a doormat to BM. HE allowed that to happen... Now that it is over, I would contact the dance company myself and order pictures. Go over BM's head. She can't dictate things like this. He really needs to grow some balls, in my not so humble opinion. He asked permission!! I'm baffled by this!! Is anyone else reading this thinking 'really??'? On a side note, I'm sorry BM was such a B, and that she used the power your H gave her to hurt you guys.

EDIT: I forgot there was no CO. STILL, he needs to show her he isn't going to back down in little things like this. DO NOT switch weekends!!

The only reason he asked her is because BM had her for the weekend so she would be the one taking her to the show. He wanted to make sure he would get there early enough or stay after to the show to see her. She said not in her costume but we still showed up early and gave her flowers so SD knew her Daddy was there to support her. We did wait outside the changing area but BM changed her right after her number so we could not see her. It just sucks that she would not bring her out to allow DH to see her since men where not allowed backstage and you needed a wristband and BM had it. We figured out later that when SD came off stage she would have to walk down the hallway to the dressing area and we could have easily gotten one then had we known. BM did not volunteer that info even though she knew this because she had already done this for one other show. It sucks because had we known she would be like that DH would never have allowed her to switch. Now she wants another one of our weekends but she damn sure won`t be getting it now. My husband told her its a two way street and she told him "stop worrying about what`s fair" uhh are you kidding me?!

P.S. You can say grow a pair all you want but BM threatens to keep SD from him which is possible without a CO. Oh and he was trying to do the best thing for SD and not cause a scene at her show but you can`t get that?

I get that. I don't remember the backstory of why he does not have a CO but that obviously needs to be done ASAP so he can not be stuck listening to her.

cole2144 · May 2012

Littlejen22:
cole2144:
karatechrissy:

I'm sorry, but my husband would have laughed in BM's face. He seriously asked her permission to take a picture of HIS OWN DAUGHTER? No wonder she said no, he gave her the power to do so. Your H needs to not be a doormat to BM. HE allowed that to happen... Now that it is over, I would contact the dance company myself and order pictures. Go over BM's head. She can't dictate things like this. He really needs to grow some balls, in my not so humble opinion. He asked permission!! I'm baffled by this!! Is anyone else reading this thinking 'really??'? On a side note, I'm sorry BM was such a B, and that she used the power your H gave her to hurt you guys.

EDIT: I forgot there was no CO. STILL, he needs to show her he isn't going to back down in little things like this. DO NOT switch weekends!!

The only reason he asked her is because BM had her for the weekend so she would be the one taking her to the show. He wanted to make sure he would get there early enough or stay after to the show to see her. She said not in her costume but we still showed up early and gave her flowers so SD knew her Daddy was there to support her. We did wait outside the changing area but BM changed her right after her number so we could not see her. It just sucks that she would not bring her out to allow DH to see her since men where not allowed backstage and you needed a wristband and BM had it. We figured out later that when SD came off stage she would have to walk down the hallway to the dressing area and we could have easily gotten one then had we known. BM did not volunteer that info even though she knew this because she had already done this for one other show. It sucks because had we known she would be like that DH would never have allowed her to switch. Now she wants another one of our weekends but she damn sure won`t be getting it now. My husband told her its a two way street and she told him "stop worrying about what`s fair" uhh are you kidding me?!

P.S. You can say grow a pair all you want but BM threatens to keep SD from him which is possible without a CO. Oh and he was trying to do the best thing for SD and not cause a scene at her show but you can`t get that?
I get that. I don't remember the backstory of why he does not have a CO but that obviously needs to be done ASAP so he can not be stuck listening to her.

We are in the process of doing so.

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