...what it'd be like to have a typical child for a day. DS has been very challenging with me lately and sometimes I feel like my patience is wearing thin. It's almost like I'm envious of parents with typical kids sometimes because the simplest tasks can end up being so difficult for us with DS (who has autism).
Anyone else ever wonder what it'd be like to have a typical child for a day?
Re: Sometimes I wish that I could experience...
It's not that I wonder what it would be like to have a typical child for the day.
I wonder what it would be like to lack the stress and worry for a day. The stress of therapy and schedules and the things that make our lives difficult (feeding, positioning, stretching, AFO's, etc) is exhausting. And the knowledge that it will never end is overwhelming at time. I have times where I would love to wake up in the morning, throw whatever I want on DS's highchair tray and not care how much he eats, and let him run around the house and be able to play and interact.
I want to know what it's like to fall asleep not worrying if tomorrow he might eat enough to maintain his weight, to not feel guilty about how many hours he wore his AFO's today, or feeling guilty that i just couldn't get him in the gait trainer long enough. To not worry about planning a trip to story time or other toddler activity and spend the entire time before worrying whether DS will be able to physically participate.
Yes, often. I wonder what it is like to go to a party with your child and actually talk to people and enjoy the party. I wonder what it is like to go to a park and sit down and just watch him play.
I wanted to say something cheerful and uplifting here. I will have to think about it.
(((hugs))) Mourning takes time, and you are welcome to vent about it here.
This is meant to be lighthearted, but you can seriously borrow my girls for the day.
I get you, because before the girls L was so extremely sick that he was in the hospital more than he was home, and I was on a first name basis with most of the hospital staff (still am). I didn't want to be there anymore, and I wanted a nt child badly. Especially after one sugery that L screamed for 8 hours straight and all I could do was sit and hold him and cry.
I've also had friends in the same position as you. Some did go ahead and have another child, some didn't. Only one has another ASD child, the rest don't (out of a dozen). It was hard for all of them, but they have made peace with it (their kids are all teens now). It's your time to greive, hugs to you.
I'm so with you.... we thought we were 100% going to go ahead and try for #2 but then starting having major second thoughts. I'm having a garage sale this weekend and getting rid of most of the baby stuff... it sucks, big time.
I have one of each, and it fluctuates day by day which one I think is easier. :P
DD2 can be wonderfully charming, and a whirlwind of disaster. She gets into way more than DD1 ever did, and is way more willful, obstinate, and demanding. Just like she should be at two -- but it's exhausting. She's just as much work as DD1 is, just in different ways. And I feel like bad behavior is more "my" fault, because she doesn't have SN that affect her behavior. I love her typical-ness, and I remind myself to be thankful for it, but it's still not smooth sailing. :P
DD1 is super sweet, but the fixations and the echolalia drive me crazy sometimes. And constantly, constantly having to repeat myself and give her extra processing time.
The element of fear isn't there, though, with DD2 the way it is with DD1. The constant second-guessing about whether what she's doing/saying is typical or not, and whether she'll be successful in a given social interaction or not, how much I need to hover, etc. I can't just think about what would be fun for DD1 to do this summer; it's what she can handle, where she won't stick out too much, and what will help her make progress on her weaknesses.
That underlying constant stress, I can definitely relate to. I really hope it'll get better over time.
DD1, 1/5/2008 ~~~ DD2, 3/17/2010