Only a week... — The Bump
Military Families

Only a week...

It's only been a week since DH left for his deployment and I do not feel any better about it. He has had contact with me almost everyday since he left but it has been at random times which makes me on edge all day waiting to hear from him. It's been really hard on our little boys as well. We are keeping busy with baseball and cub scouts but, it's been challenging. I can't do everything my DH does because I am 34 weeks and the 3rd trimester has hit me hard. Plus, it doesn't help that one of our cars decided to not start, the toliet is clogged up and the dogs have alll of a sudden decided to get out of our fence all this week!!!! When is the turning point where things get easier?

Re: Only a week...

  • I don't think there is a magic number of days or weeks that things suddenly get easier.  DH missed several weeks of the last trimester and LO's first 8 months(aside from the birth and a day afterward) due to pre-deployment training and actual deployment.  We just finished the deployment earlier this month, and I'm not sure I remember exactly when things got easier.  I just know that they did.  At some point, it began to feel "normal" to be taking care of LO by myself and to be doing everything at the house by myself.  Just give it time and remember that deployment is temporary.

     So there's this boy. He kinda stole my heart. He calls me "Mom"

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  • Things always go wrong and break when they are deployed..that's just how it is.  Try and be grateful that you have heard from him every day.  My husband is deployed to a place where we hardly have any contact at all so I would love a random 3am phone call.  I'm not sure when it gets 'easier' but after a few weeks you will have a routine down and it will help make the deployment go by as smoothly as it can. 
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  • Definitely be grateful that he's calling you daily.  I spoke to DH 4 times in a 3 month deployment once.  Seriously, that was AWFUL. Everything imaginable will go wrong when he's gone but I also think that we just automatically get a negative mindset when the slightest things go wrong because instantly we think "of course, he's gone and i have to plunge a dammn toilet" lol. Keep your head up mama <3 We've all been there and I'm sorry it's been hard for you so far.  But make a routine for yourself and you'll get more used to him being gone.

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  • I don't think you will have that magic turning point, but the longer they are gone the easier it will get. Things become more routine and  you will feel more in control. Good luck.
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  • I had alwways been told the first and the last 2 weeks are the hardest.  They really are.  It will never be easy but once you get a routine figured out things will start going back normal and try and keep yourself as busy as possible.  Once you have the baby things will really start to fly by.
  • I thought I was the only one whose house fell apart during deployments! As soon as he leaves it's like everything decides to fall apart, get sick, escape or break!

    After being through five deployments, I don't think it ever gets "easier"...but you do develop your own routine and taking care of issues will become second nature. It's never easy, but it's definitely manageable. 

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