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venturing over from mc/pg loss

mamamilesmamamiles member
in TTC After a Loss

so... i've lurked for a bit and figured i should write an intro... 

first i want to say how sorry i am that you all have had to experience a loss and have to be here instead of just TTC. you are some very strong and inspirational women. i've enjoyed (maybe that's the wrong word?) your blogs, and am heartbroken over your stories. they have helped me to know that i can get through this. 

after 2 years of TTC we finally got a BFP. within a month it was taken away. it's now been a month and i'm a little scared to try again. first pregnancy first mc... going for hopefully the final bloodwork tomorrow to get the all clear. physically, so long as my numbers are where they should be, it's time to try again. emotionally,so far, i feel like i could handle it, but then again... it's only been a month. i guess my fear is what if it happens again? how will we handle a second one? what if it takes another 2 years?  how can i feel excited about a new pregnancy when i've been through the heartache of a loss? how can i trust that i won't mc again? 

sorry for the ramble... i just figured maybe i could get a little insight from others that have been where i am heading in the very near future.  

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Re: venturing over from mc/pg loss

  • MeganS313MeganS313 member
    Welcome to the board, although I am sorry you also find yourself here.  There is a great group of supportive knowledgable women here. 
    I think TTC again is a totally personal choice once your doc gives you the ok.  I m/c on April 28th and I'm not 100% sure I'll be ready again yet. 
    Good luck to you and I hope your stay here is short and sweet.
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    PgAL/PAL welcome, always!
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  • ella.mabelella.mabel member
    I'm so sorry for your loss.  Welcome to the board.  Whenever i start asking myself questions like "what if i m/c again?" or "what if i can't get pregnant?", i try to just remember that the only way to guarantee you won't get your take home baby is to stop trying.  In order to get what you really want, you need to try again  Sure it comes with risks, and it might even come with more heartbreak. There's that quote that i see in some people's siggy lines, it goes something like, "Everything will be ok in the end.  If it's not ok, it's not the end".  That quote gets me every time because it's so true.  Best wishes for success to you.  ((hugs))
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  • kwilson158kwilson158

    I am sorry for your loss and agree that it has to be a personal choice that only you can make...While I am sure your hubby's opinion matters you truly have to make sure you are 100 % ready....May 30 with be 2 months since I miscarried and while my hubby and I just recently started TTC again I have been anxious about the whole process...

    It is normal to have those fears of what if when you experience such a loss....Make sure you give yourself enough time to grieve and heal emotionally and physically...

    We all have our reasons for how long we wait or don't wait to TTC again...and honestly I don't think any of us are ever really ready...because we will always be wondering, nervous, anxious, and scared...That is what happens after miscarring...TTC is never the same...atleast it is not to me...

     

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  • VikingQueenVikingQueen member

    I'm sorry for your loss. Welcome to the board.

    If you haven't yet please take the time to check out the blog. The link in my siggy  under my hotties (TTCAL Blog) and at the header of the TTCAL page.

    Hope your stay here is short and sweet.

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  • SmootiepieSmootiepie member
    I'm so sorry for your loss, but welcome to the board.
    Me (28): fine, DH (28): MFI
    Married 6/21/09
    Off BCP and TTC 4/17/11
    BFP #1 (ended in CP) 7/15/11
    Varicocelectomy surgery 9/4/12 - T improved to normal, but still low count

    Current Status: Pursuing Jan '15 IVF w/ ICSI
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers


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  • klbowieklbowie member

    I am so sorry you find yourself on this board.  Deciding when you are ready is only a choice you can make. 

    I too lost my first pregnancy.  I believe I am ready emtionally to start trying again.  I know some days will be harder then others.  However, I really want my rainbow baby and the only way I can do this is by trying again.  The unknown is very scary but not trying is even scarier.  

    Unfortunatley, there are no promises your next pregnancy will be your rainbow baby and you may have to experience more pain.  But what if it is your rainbow baby and you never tried for it. 

    Hopefully, one day the fears will lessen and when you get pregnant again you can live it day by day and enjoy it.  GL

    BFP#1 02/19/12 missed mc 03/30/12 1st D&C 05/16/12 2nd D&C 08/17/12 
    BFP #2 06/26/13 EDD 2/26/14 Hoping for my rainbow baby!
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    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 

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  • DaisyZHDaisyZH member

    imageella.mabel:
    I'm so sorry for your loss.  Welcome to the board.  Whenever i start asking myself questions like "what if i m/c again?" or "what if i can't get pregnant?", i try to just remember that the only way to guarantee you won't get your take home baby is to stop trying.  In order to get what you really want, you need to try again  Sure it comes with risks, and it might even come with more heartbreak. There's that quote that i see in some people's siggy lines, it goes something like, "Everything will be ok in the end.  If it's not ok, it's not the end".  That quote gets me every time because it's so true.  Best wishes for success to you.  ((hugs))

    This is very well said.  I love that quote as well.  Welcome to the board, I am so so sorry for your loss and that any of us have to be here, but I hope we can give you some comfort and support and that your stay here is short and sweet.


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  • krisztina33krisztina33

    Thanks for your intro.  I'm so sorry for your loss, but welcome to the board!  This truly is an amazing group of women.  Best of luck on your journey.  We are all here to listen and offer support when we can.

    ((hugs)) 

    TTC #1 since November 2011
    ** BFP #1 - M/C at 6 weeks 4/13/2012 **
    ** BFP #2 - expecting a little leprechaun!! EDD 3/21/13 | HB 7/30/2012 (6w3d) **
    NT Scan 9/4 - looked great! | Grow, baby, grow!!! | A/S 10/29

    ***All AL always welcome***
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