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Sorry for my tempormental computer.....

JBDamonMJBDamonM member
in Trouble TTC

And the 5 posts.

What I Was trying to say:

Ugh, I need my 3T ladies - who may understand how I am feeling.

Woke up this AM to text messages on both my phone and DH's from his good friends that had a baby yesterday.....

By the time I got to work I had horrible anxiety..... and couldn't really pointpoint it.

Yeah - just had to close my door and cry it out....

I feel like an awulf person that I can't be happy and excited for these people, and instead all I can feel is left out and left behind :(

Plus I feel like an absolute basketcase for having such a meltdown at work about this.....Not on any meds, or hormones - just literally having a good cry......at work...

UGH. I HATE IF.


"I won't give up on us, even if the skies get rough, I'm giving you all my love, I"m still looking up."
TTC #1 since August 2011 MFI Diagnosis - April 2012
IVF #1 - July 2012 - Stims start 7/2, ER 7/12, 20 retrieved, 16 mature, 13 fertilized!
ET - 7/17 - 1 blast transferred. Beta - 7/26 273, Beta 2 7/30 - 1143. Beta 3 8/6 - 11,597
12/25 - Santa tells us "IT'S A GIRL!" EDD - April 4th

Our Little Easter Bunny has arrived!

Molly Mildred born 03/31/13


TTC A Sibling....... FET #1 11/14/14, Transferred one beautiful blast

Remaining four frosties arrested due to "embryologist error"

Plllllleasssee stick little icicle.....Beta 11/23...BFN

Starting ALL over with a fresh IVF cycle

Stims start 11/28/14, ER December 10th, 13 eggs retrieved, 11 mature, only 4 fertilized 

1 Blast Transferred on December 15th..... Beta Christmas Eve... Please Santa, bring me a baby!

Beta #1 345.....Beta #2....750/ First U/S 1/13/15/HB 131....EDD 9/2/2015

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Re: Sorry for my tempormental computer.....

  • notquiteblushingnotquiteblushing member
    Hang in there.  We've all been there.
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  • Killer TomatoKiller Tomato member
    Better to let it out than keep it bottled in, even if you do feel silly for crying at work. At least you have a door! Smile Don't feel like an awful person. It isn't that you aren't happy for them, it is just that you can't feel it b/c it is eclipsed by the sadness and frustration you feel at your own situation. I think most of us have been there. I am sorry you are feeling sad.
    4 IUIs: Bfn
    Antagonist IVF 7 retrieved, 4 fert w/ICSI&AH, 2 blasts transferred. Beta #1 9/20: 367 Beta #2 9/22: 841
    image image
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  • pulga131pulga131
    It's never easy...Sorry you're having a rough day. Have a glass (or two or three) of wine when you get home and drown your sorrows. ((Hugs))
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  • kristykay123kristykay123 member
    I'm sorry :(. I hope your day gets better.
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  • RmJohns92RmJohns92 member
    I am sorry JBDamon! I hope that your day get's better. Like Pulga said have a glass of wine when you get home tonight.

    Me (30) my best friend (38)
    TTTC since "Jan 2011"
    RE appt april 2012
    Dx: PCOS and stage 1 endo
    S/A 19 million, 48 motility, 1 morphology
    6.1 progestrone
    HSG: tubes clear
    clomid 50mg + #1 IUI + trigger 6/9/12 BFN 6/18/12 Clomid 150mg +#2 IUI + trigger: 7/9/2012 BFN 7/18/2012 stage 1: endo removed 8/14/12
    Letrozole 2.5mg+estrogen=cycle cancelled for little to no response
    Follistim 75 (10/15-10/19) follistim 67 (10/20-10/21) cycle cancelled due to over response 9 follies and very thin lining
    ~ IVF #1:BC pills started 10/27~
    ~IVF class schedualed for 11/13~
    ~ Lupron starts Thanksgiving day~
    ~Stims start December 1st~
    ~ER: December 12th ~
    ~ET: December 15th~
    19 R. 12. Fertilized with ICSI, 2 transfered
    only 1 made it to freeze!
    Beta #1 12/27/12 (26)
    beta #2 12/29/12 (78.9)
    Beta #3 12/31/12 (149)
    Beta #4 1/4/13 (48)
    C/P on 1/4/13 @ 5 weeks and 2 days
    ~ IVF #2 ~
    ~ BC pills1/15-2/3~
    ~Lupron beings 1/31~
    ~stims start Feb. 9th~
    ~ER 2/21/13~
    ~14 R, 12 fertilized with ICSI~
    ~1 made it to freeze~
    ~Twin Boys Arrived August 31, 2013
    imageAnniversary
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    P/SAIF Welcome~ everyone welcome
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  • candyreesecupcandyreesecup member
    Sweetie, I am sorry that you had to wake up with the text this morning :(  We all go through the emotional roller coaster of ups&downs in this IF journey and we cannot help it when we hit the bottom.  Cry out, vent to us, and do whatever makes this sadness cycle pass.  I know you love your friends so much, but certain things like this really hurt....You are not alone and I understand how you are feeling!!        

    Mar-Apr-May/12: All 3 IUI (w/ Femara) - BFN

    May/12 IVF journey in the works...
    IVF #1 w/ ICSI #1 (Gonal, Menopur & Ganirelix)
    5/29-6/18: BCP, 6/21-6/27: Stim, 6/30: ER
    7/5: ET 2 5-days blastocysts are transferred, none made to freeze :(
    7/17: Beta #1 - 616!!, 7/23: Beta #2 - 6818
    8/2: u/s #1 - a healthy seahorse found & one empty sac, 8/16: u/s #2 - one peanut! HB @ 180
    10/30: It's a girl!!! EDD: 3/23/13


    IVF & Miracle baby blog!
    My Cherry Blossom baby

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • janabananacjanabananac

    I'm so sorry.  And like everyone else said, we have all been through this.  This is a great place to vent and get support.  

    Do something for yourself today.  You deserve it. 

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  • Raggedy1Raggedy1 member
    Yuuuuck.  You'll feel better if you let yourself cry it all out, I think I do that at least once a month.  I hope your day gets better.
    TTC #1 2+ Years with Unexplained IF
    1st & Only BFP: 1st IVF w/ ICSI, 3dt of 2 7-cell, grade 2 embryos on 8/25/12
    Beta #1 9/5: 87.2 BFP! - Beta #2 9/7: 248 - 1st US @ 6w3d Two Heartbeats! - MoDi Girls!
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    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
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  • JBDamonMJBDamonM member

    Thanks ladies!!!

    REALLY, REALLY sucky day today :(

    I am usually ok with keeping my IF emotions in check. Not today - it's like I got hit by the IF train and I didn't even see it coming.

    What's worse is I think DH is feeling the same way -  but rather the be honest and open with his emotions - he is just walking around in a cranky mood.

    Tonight is probaby going to suck. Maybe we should just drink a bottle of wine.......each  ;)


    "I won't give up on us, even if the skies get rough, I'm giving you all my love, I"m still looking up."
    TTC #1 since August 2011 MFI Diagnosis - April 2012
    IVF #1 - July 2012 - Stims start 7/2, ER 7/12, 20 retrieved, 16 mature, 13 fertilized!
    ET - 7/17 - 1 blast transferred. Beta - 7/26 273, Beta 2 7/30 - 1143. Beta 3 8/6 - 11,597
    12/25 - Santa tells us "IT'S A GIRL!" EDD - April 4th

    Our Little Easter Bunny has arrived!

    Molly Mildred born 03/31/13


    TTC A Sibling....... FET #1 11/14/14, Transferred one beautiful blast

    Remaining four frosties arrested due to "embryologist error"

    Plllllleasssee stick little icicle.....Beta 11/23...BFN

    Starting ALL over with a fresh IVF cycle

    Stims start 11/28/14, ER December 10th, 13 eggs retrieved, 11 mature, only 4 fertilized 

    1 Blast Transferred on December 15th..... Beta Christmas Eve... Please Santa, bring me a baby!

    Beta #1 345.....Beta #2....750/ First U/S 1/13/15/HB 131....EDD 9/2/2015

    Report Reply
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