Baby Showers
Lost it on my MIL at my shower... Do I have the right to be angry? Poll
My MIL has a bad temper and an even worse attitude towards me. She's hated me since the day I brought peanuts to a family celebration, not knowing someone was allergic. A third cousin, actually. So at the gender reaveal shower, on the 19th, my mom was telling me all this cool stuff we could put in the room of DD. Me and DH got up to announce gender when MIL gasps, screams and accusingly yells at me, Why did she know? And I didn't? Well, Mom had come with me to all of my ultrasounds, and she had been there when the doc said it was a girl. Even though my mom constantly needled me for having a baby so early, she was there. My MIL proceeded to rant, throw three plates on the floor and her cup of wine at me, and curse me out while trying to destroy things all around the room. My DH finally grabbed her and dragged her out of the room, and I was so angry I followed. I proceeded to tell her that she had never been nice, never once asked to go to an u/s, not even ask about my pregnancy except to tell me I got fat. She said she hated me and was leaving. Me, in my ruined dress told her that was fine. She could (explitive) get the (explitive) out. She hasn't called to apologize, or even paid the hotel we had our shower at... Some people...[Poll]
Team Pink! First time Momma to be!
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Re: Lost it on my MIL at my shower... Do I have the right to be angry? Poll
Wow CRAZY! As with you my mom has also been at every appt. it's different when it's YOUR own mother! How does your DH feel about it? I'm soo soo sorry you had to go through that:(
She sounds like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum.
I actually didn't vote since I feel I would want to vote for both.
First, yes you definitely have a right to feel/be angry. Your MIL acted like a child. She needs some professional help to learn how to control herself.
Second, you could have just said (when she asked why SHE didn't know) that your mom was with you at the U/S and the doctor/nurse let it slip. Also, I feel you acted childish in following her having YOUR tantrum when people were leading her away. You should have shown more class at that point since your guests were still sitting there and had to witness the whole exchange. If you wanted to rant and swear at her it would have been better to do it at another time away from the party.
Hopefully she gets some help...she definitely needs it.
ITA. She was completely over the line (so far from the line, it's a dot to her--Friends, anyone?) and needs to know that this type of behavior is completely inappropriate. However, a public (? Wasn't quite sure from OP if other guests saw) was also inappropriate and brings you down to her level. Addressing the behavior when everyone is calm would probably be more effective.
I also don't think cursing someone out is ever going to solve anything.
Jusy go home to Norway and all will be fine again.
https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/66060138/ShowThread.aspx#66060138
I'm really not sure where the fact that someone is from Norway would come into play here...?
How your MIL acted sounds horrific. And I thought mine was bad; mine seems to feel roughly the same way about me, but she is at least mature about it. If yours had kept it to quiet words between the two of you, I'd understand you standing up for yourself but calmly explaining the situation... once items go flying (AND HIT YOU), all bets are off--she needed to be put in her place, and fast. That's absolutely uncalled for.
blog! thescenery.net
She's faking this story. She's MUD.
Off B.C. Jan '06, started charting Feb '08, 2% morphology and PCOS, no O with meds,
IVF w/ICSI only option to conceive.
Licensed Foster Parents 07.11
Miracle BFP 7.20.11 1st beta 6,274! EDD 3.17.12
Miracle Baby born March 5, 2012 . 6lbs 1oz, 19 3/4"
Miracle BFP #2 10.8.12 - edd 6.20.13
My guess is a 40 something, fat, bald guy living in his mother's basement. Damn creepers.
I'd also like to point out that NO hotel will let you rent a space without a credit card on hold...sorry Norway, your story is lame. I'm glad your hypothetical MIL lost it on you.
Yeah, I'm on the MUD train too. you, your DH, your mom AND your MIL all flew over for a shower? The $$$ that was spent on that could probably buy you everything you need for your baby. Then to send it ALL back to Norway?
Please.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
First, hi Troll. How's the weather in Norway?
Second,
whut?
http://pandce.****/index.cgi#general
::prays silently and thanks God that my ILs are not like this::
Holy shnit!!!! I can't believe she did that - what a psychopath. I wouldn't let her anywhere near me or my baby unless she committed to some serious counseling. A grown woman acting that way? NO WAY!!!!
Me: 32 - Stage II Endo / DH: 36 - Low count and morphology (1%)
IUIs 1-3 BFN, lap Dec. 2010, IUIs 4-6 BFN
IVF w/ICSI #1 - ER 2/8: 24R 19M 9F ET 2/13 2-5 day blasts (no frosties) = BFP - b/g twins!
E & C Born 10/19/2012
Do you people ever read others posts before responding? Responses feeling bad for the troll are just affirming to her that she's getting away with her troll-ism. She's a FAKE y'all, stop feeling bad for her.
::sighs::
Ahhhh, I love you guys.
Whoa. I totally disagree. I think it's really disrespectful to clue in your mom or to invite her to all the ultrasounds and to leave out your MIL. DH was just as excited as I was when I was pregnant, and his mother's feelings would have been really hurt if I'd acted like my mom was more grandmother than she was.
Having said that, I can see why OP wouldn't want her MIL very involved with the pregnancy or the baby. She sounds like a nightmare.
Not even going to touch on the tackiness/borefest that is the gender reveal "shower."
ETA: I responded to this as if it were serious...I recognize her now from all her muddy posts. Lame.
BFP #1 9/7/10, EDD 5/14/11, Violet born 5/27/11.
BFP #2 4/9/12, EDD 12/16/12, M/C Rory 4/24/12.
BFP #3 10/6/12, EDD 6/16/12., Matilda born 6/17/13.
Wow....This isn't even believable. Entertaining but not real.
I will NEVER understand why people make up fake stories on a site like this. Very sad. Please find another site to make up things on. The ladies here at the bump prefer to associate with REAL people.
Your right... It's not believable because OP is a troll.
MUD annoys me in general but I do get a kick out of the gullible women who play into this sh!t like they are watching Maury.
Honestly, I think this women should be brought up on charges for assault. If she hit you with wine, that's enough for assault (battery) charges. She should at least be charged with disorderly conduct. I'm very stubborn, so if this were me, my relationship would be over with her. She crossed a line that no one should ever cross, and she ruined a really special moment for you. I have no sympathy for her in the least. She should get a lot more than a verbal assault . . . she should get a few days in jail for assaulting a pregnant woman and then trying to slap her. And if your husband isn't on board with you, then that's a huge problem, too. Good luck with this situation, and hopefully your family is there for support.
I'm SO SORRY this happened to you.
My MIL was HORRIBLE at my wedding shower. I invited her sister to my side's shower so MIL wouldn't feel alone. The room was all set up with tables together--decor on the tables--favors, etc. MIL and her sister came, grabbed chairs away from the table and put them in their own corner. They sat whispering and giggling the whole time and refused to join in on the party. I felt so embarassed and my other guests kept apologizing to me.
To me...things like this can't be forgiven. I know I could easily be flamed for this but acts of horrible selfishness on YOUR DAY hurt. They CAN be prevented and CAN be handled in better ways. If my MIL just plain wouldn't have came to my shower I might respect her more today.
IMO your MIL sounds nuts. If she had an issue she needed to bring it up in private. If she had sense of someone older than 2 she would have known that. She's only hurting herself by acting like that.
My MIL has been so horrible to me that she only gets supervised visits with my son. If she can't respect me then I can't trust her.