Community› The Bump Message Boards› Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
New Discussion

Waiting for normal to begin

racheljourneyracheljourney
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

I feel like I am waiting for normal to start.  Bloating to go down, bandages to be removed, being able to sit up without using my arms to push me.  I went for a walk with a friend yesterday afternoon, then hit a patio, for one glass of wine.  That was a piece of normal.  My two closet friends are childess both by choice.  One a single lesbian and the other choosing several years ago not to have children.  They are incredibly supportive despite the fact they are on different paths.  Its actually nice to spend time with people who do not have children.  We talked about what is going on in there lives, plans for the long weekend, dinner plans if the weather holds up.  Then one friend gave me a card which I was instructed to open when I got home.  I did and lost it.  The first time since everything went down.  

 I want my normals back.  Yoga, working, spending time on the house.  Dreaming and making plans.  

I feel different so I guess my normal will be a new one after this experience.  DH and I were talking last night and he expressed he stil in shock.  He feels like we made best decision and said we hadn't done the surgery he would have lost me and the baby and he couldn't live with that.

 So what's your piece of normal? 

37, TTC since Jan 2011, ectopic 1 at 6 weeks Aug 2011, started acupuncture herbs Jan 2012, ectopic 2 at 6 weeks May 2012, next step referral to a specialist
Report Reply to Post

Re: Waiting for normal to begin

  • holly321holly321 member

    I think "normal" has died for me.   I have a new normal.  I slightly bitter and more cynical one.  Yet, I have become more of an optimist at the same time, which is hard to explain.

    It has been almost 4 months since I lost the baby, I found myself unable to say the words ( I was talking about losing weight after words, I was going to say when I lost the baby, instead, when I lost the weight.)  I some days still take small steps backwards.

    I went to a yard sale today. I contemplated buying stuff for the future baby.  A step forward.

     

     

    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • racheljourneyracheljourney

    I feel that way - no naive.  I lost that with the first one.  We went out yesterday downtown shopping.  The confusion (why do people shop on a long weekend when the weather is nice?) I found myself beside a new born and mom and started to loose it.  Its going to take some time.  We were deciding what to do last night and I decided I didn't want to go over a friend's place because they have four year old and she elected to have an abortion about a year ago because the time wasn't right due to finances.  The four year old was an accident.  I would love to have an accident right now.

     I like what you did - complating buyng stuff for future baby.  There is hope.  

    I want to my one remaining tube checked out before we try again.  I am hopeful but not and have been for a long time.  I am worried I am going to slide into depression.  

    37, TTC since Jan 2011, ectopic 1 at 6 weeks Aug 2011, started acupuncture herbs Jan 2012, ectopic 2 at 6 weeks May 2012, next step referral to a specialist
    Report Reply
  • holly321holly321 member

    I really hope everything goes well for you with your other tube.

    And I really wish you best about going into depression.  I have been on and off zoloft since I miscarried.  I  get really sleepy from it, so it is hard for me to take it.

     

    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"