Doctor vent--am I overreacting?

OneHotMama89 · May 2012

This morning I went to the doctor to follow-up on the blood work I had done a couple of weeks ago to check my hormone levels. I've been off birth control since September and haven't started ovulating yet (per charting), so I wanted to check to make sure everything was "normal" since I had a really hard time coming off of birth control in the past. He said all of my hormone levels looked good and there was nothing to be concerned about.

Now, before I go on, I would just like to say that I normally really like my doctor. My only complaint is that he does often rush you out of his office without really explaining things, but I've always just chalked it up to him being really busy.

He then proceeds to tell me that charting is inaccurate, and if I'm having even semi-regular periods then I'm ovulating. He said he's had women come to him in the past after 5 or 6 months of trying that were starting to worry and they ended up getting pregnant before the year mark (this I know...I wasn't really concerned about my ability to get pregnant, just wanted to make sure everything was on track hormone wise). He goes on to say that the reason I haven't gotten pregnant yet is because I'm worrying too much and if I just relax it'll happen. Then (this is the kicker) he tells me that he's sure I get pregnant 4 or 5 times a year and just lose the baby in a chemical pregnancy because my eggs are imperfect. Uh, okay? Was it necessary to tell me that? What is his medical basis for saying that? Was that supposed to somehow be comforting? I don't get it. I tried not to overreact, but really, the comment offended me and I left the office fairly upset. Am I just being overly sensitive, or does that comment rub you guys the wrong way too?

Needless to say, if I do end up having to pursue any sort of fertility treatment down the line, I won't be going back to him. I live in Canada so to see even an ob/gyn you need a referral from a GP, but I don't see myself getting a referral from this doctor should I need one somewhere down the line.

ETA: Sorry if anyone clicks on the link to my chart to chart stalk. I'm currently taking a break from charting so it won't show much. I plan to start temping again next cycle.

TheBishTTGP · May 2012

I would say find a new doctor pronto. Some doctors don't think charting is accurate but if its showing you aren't O'ing then I would think to find another doctor. I mean think about it, if you get pregnant would you want him to be there for you and your child? He sounds like a nimrod.

Juicy71 · May 2012

It is absolutely terrible that he said that! You are certainly not overreacting. Get thee to a new doctor STAT!!

Sorry you had to go through that.

tiffk10 · May 2012

I would be upset and probably switch doctors if I could. Bedside/office manners are really important to me.

sueann911 · May 2012

I would switch doctors ASAP. That is a terrible thing to say to someone.

kellyrn9956 · May 2012

So, he thinks all you have to do is relax, yet he believes that your "eggs are imperfect"? Which one is it buddy? What an idiot.

Beaglechon2012 · May 2012

I have to agree with PPs..it's time to get a new doctor. I am sorry you're experiencing this!

steph620 · May 2012

I agree with PP, that was unprofessional and unnecessary. Even if that is true, that's not something you tell a woman who is TTC. We are in a fragile state.

kelly321 · May 2012

kellyrn9956:
So, he thinks all you have to do is relax, yet he believes that your "eggs are imperfect"? Which one is it buddy? What an idiot.

This. And, what, babies are only made of eggs? Why was he so concentrated on placing the blame on you and not saying it could be imperfect eggs or sperm? I'd find another doctor ASAP. I found out the hard way that little things that bother you about doctors when there's no big problem can turn into a huge issue when a real problem occurs.

feytalaria · May 2012

What a horribly insensitive thing for your doctor to say. I would be looking for a new doctor without a doubt.

JustWonderin805 · May 2012

I'd have given him a swift kick in the balls. What an insensitive ass.

Kristinfm · May 2012

Ugh.....time for a new doctor!

janice9821 · May 2012

JustWonderin805:
I'd have given him a swift kick in the balls. What an insensitive ass.

This. I switched to a midwife for my yearly exams when I knew I was going to be TTC soon, and she actually RECOMMENDED reading TCOYF and charting and said if we have any questions or concerns, I can bring my charts to her. Your doc sucks the big one, OP.

brookelynpaisley · May 2012

GhostMonkey:
steph620:
I agree with PP, that was unprofessional and unnecessary. Even if that is true, that's not something you tell a woman who is TTC. We are in a fragile state.
Oh for God's sake, we are not. He's still an ass though and I would start looking for a new doctor.

Yes and also ::eyeroll::

lin681 · May 2012

I would def switch doctors. He sounds very frustrating. And his comment about cp pregnancies...how does he know that is he just guessing?

GL w your ttc journey. I would keep on charting and find a new dr. Your charts will be helpful.

synchrosally · May 2012

That doctor sounds like a jackass. What the hell does he mean "just relax"? And where on earth would he get the idea that you have 4 or 5 CPs a year? How would he know that? Based on thin air? I'm sorry. I'm glad everything checked out, but maybe it's time to switch doctors. I finally made the move and I'm glad I did. I was so sick of being shoved out of his office without having an explanation or answer to my questions. And the straw that broke the camel's back was him not noticing DS losing weight (from 90th %ile to 25th %ile) and ignoring my complaints that he didn't sleep. Arg. New doctor!

starrjelly · May 2012

Definitely get a new doctor. You need someone on your team, this is such an intimate process. Not to mention, you see the doctor all the time and begin to form a bond.

My doc for DD was a wash, she didn't get me at all. My birth experience, in turn, was lacking. For DS, the new doc could be a BFF, she is that great. I want her to have all my babies

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