My husband and I went to our first u/s appointment yesterday at 9w3d. There was no heartbeat and the baby was only measuring 6w. I have to go for a follow up appt on Monday to confirm there has been no growth, but I already know what the outcome is going to be, and I am devastated. The doctor said I will probably have a D&C on Tuesday.
I am so scared about the D&C, physically and emotionally. For those of you who have had to go through this, were you given general anesthesia? Or some sort of local? I've read that sometimes they use a local anesthetic or an epidural, and I can't imagine that. I don't want to be awake for it. I don't think I can handle it. And I don't want a needle in my spine.
This was our first try and our first pregnancy, and I had no inkling that anything was wrong - no bleeding, had all the symptoms: nausea, bloating, sore breasts. I feel so blind sided.
On a positive note, my husband has been nothing short of amazing, holding me, crying with me, holding a cold compress to my tear-swollen eyes. I can't imagine going through this with anyone else and it has completely reaffirmed what a great father he will be some day.
My thoughts are with all you women who have gone through/are going through the same thing. It is so much more traumatic than I could have ever imagined, and I wouldn't wish this on anyone.
Re: Intro & D&C Question
I am so sorry for your loss, but I am glad to hear your husband is so supportive.
I had general for my d&c, which I think is pretty standard. It was my fifth time being put under, it is scary at first, but it is actually quite relaxing.
A d&c is a very simple and easy procedure. I think I was awake within 20 minutes of them starting it.
Im so sorry for your loss;( I can understand how you feel so blindsided, its such a terrible feeling. I also had all the symptoms and if it wasn't for my early ultrasounds, I would never had known anything was wrong.
I too was super scared for the d&c, but the procedure happens so fast it was over before I knew it. I was in pain after and slept the rest of the day, but today I feel alot better and only have minimal bleeding. Initially I was upset that I wouldnt be given a general anesthesia and that I would be awake for the procedure but I was given some antibiotics for infection, tylenol 3's for the pain and some relaxor drug and just closed my eyes and before I knew it, it was over. I did feel some pain during the surgery but I'd say it felt like a really long and uncomfortable pap.
I'm so sorry that you're going through this, and hope that this board brings you some comfort knowing that you're not alone.
xx

BFP#1 D&C May 18th 2012 at 9 wks. EDD Dec 17 2012BFP#2 CP Sept 17th 2012 at 4.5 wks. EDD May 23 2013
BFP#3 EDD June 24th 2013 IT'S A GIRL!
BFP#4 EDD March 2 2015
4 Losses (2003, 2008, Apr 2012, & Oct 2012)
All RPL and IF testing with multiple REs = normal
5 IUIs = BFN
All AL are welcome

BFP #1 4/29/12 m/c 5/18/12 at 6w2d
BFP #2 8/28/12 EDD 5/10/13 MC 9/22/12 at 6w4d
BFP #3 12/31/12 EDD 9/12/13
Me Dx: DOR DH: all tests normal
Our Pretty Little Nest Blog
I'm sorry for your loss. I don't have much good advice for getting through it except to take things one day at a time, be good to yourself and rely on your husband, friends and family for support.
I had a D&E with an epi. I was a bit worried about being awake also, but they gave me something to 'relax' and I pretty much don't remember anything after that.
I hope it goes ok.
BFP#1 1/31/12, EDD 10/6/12 Harrison Gray born sleeping @ 18w6d. You changed our lives little guy.
BFP#2 EDD 10/29/13, C/P 2/25/13, Bye little Ish, we barely got to know you.
BFP#3 EDD 12/21/13, Baby Boots born 11/23/13 My rainbow baby!
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My D&C was on 5/3 and today is the first day that I've been emotionally able to log into my account. I think there is a reason that I did. Your story sounds very similar to mine. The anxiety of that that first big appointment with the ultrasound is so overwhelming and to get there and not hear a heartbeat is undescribable. Like you this was my first pregnancy so having to wait another ten days for ultrasound #2 was even harder.
I can tell you that the decision to have the D&C is compeletly optional and my OB made it very clear that she would support any decision that I made. Now my family on the other hand made it kind of difficult. My mother wanted me to naturally miscarry and I had to explain to her my choice and help her to understand the face that I had to face....my babies (we were pregnant with twins) were not going to grow if I waited. I suggest that if things lead this way that you take the time to research on your own. Letting go and can be very hard. We all greive in differnt ways. Some people need to naturally miscarry in order to feel that they did all that they could. I scheduled mine for three days later so that I could make sure what I felt I wanted to do was really the best thing for us.
I can tell you that the procedure was the best I could've hoped for. I was completely put under anesthesia so there was no pain at all. After the procedure I did have some cramping but my doctore sent me hope with plenty of pain meds. The cramping was equal to a more intense period. This was partially due to another medicine she gave me that helped to shrink the uterus back to normal size.
Overall I if I had to do it over again, I would still choose the D&C. I didn't want to wake up every day wondering if that was the day that I would start to naturally miscarry. Having a set day and time this part of the long healing journey to heal helped me. My husband and I were able to take time off work so that I could start to heal and to grieve in peace. My co-workers thought I just took time off.
Now two weeks later, there is still emotional pain. I wish I could tell you that you will feel better immediately, but you won't. I can say that having the D&C helped me have a little closure though. I'm going to pray for you and your family tonight. I hope that you don't need and any of the info I just gave you because you hear a heartbeat tomorrow! But if you do, know that you WILL get through it. Just one day at a time.
I'm so sorry for your loss. We were blind-sided too. We saw the heartbeat at 8wk and everything was looking great. I started bleeding yesterday and went to the ER. They couldn't find a heartbeat on the U/S. Now I'm waiting to see if I naturally miscarry or need a d&c. Thank you for posting questions about a d&c b/c it was something I wanted to know too.
Thank you guys so much for your support and kind words. I hate that any of us have to be here, but am glad there is a place I can come where people know what I am going through.
I had another ultrasound this morning, which confirmed there was no growth/no heartbeat. I am waiting for the doctor to call and let me know if my D&C will be tomorrow or Weds. I told him I want it tomorrow to get it over with. He did tell me I will be put under for it, so that was a huge relief. I will let you know how it goes.
I am going back and forth between being okay, numb, and a total mess. I think once I have the D&C behind me, it will be easier to start the healing process. We are going on vacation on Friday, so I think that will help get my mind off of things.
Thanks again everyone.
BFP #1 EDD 12.18.12 - Missed M/C at 9w3d D&C 5.22.12