Stay At Home Moms Are Depressed?

clineak · May 2012

What do you think about what this article has to say?

Nutrguru · May 2012

I know I can get frustrated if I'm home too much and can't leave. I would love to be able to work p/t and be home more. Right now its just mornings, evenings and weekends. Mornings are always busy getting everyone out the door on time and then evenings is dinner, bath, bed and then I can't go anywhere since I'm always on baby duty. Weekends are great though and I always pack to much stuff in but again, I am stuck in the house by 6:30/7.

I think SAHM and WM just need a balance that fits them.

nbbride06 · May 2012

Being a SAHM is not for everyone I am sure. However, you really just have to make an effort to put yourself into situations so you are not isolated. For instance, I joined a mommy and me group when LO was 7 weeks old. It's been a lifesaver and I've met some really good friends. I also joined another mom's club where meetings are held during the week where you take your kids, and there are playgroups, bookclub, etc. In reality, I am a part-time WAHM but I wish I could be a completely SAHM.

swimiz500 · May 2012

I see its point, and agree. I mean, I feel isolated and without a personal purpose often. Logistically, it is very difficult for me to get out. First, I live in an area with few opportunities for moms and babies. Secondly, we are extremely limited financially, so things that other moms do, I simply can't afford. It has been quite hard. I wouldn't trade being at home for anything, I just wish it were easier for me to get out and interact with the world more.

Timshel17 · May 2012

swimiz500:
I see its point, and agree. I mean, I feel isolated and without a personal purpose often. Logistically, it is very difficult for me to get out. First, I live in an area with few opportunities for moms and babies. Secondly, we are extremely limited financially, so things that other moms do, I simply can't afford. It has been quite hard. I wouldn't trade being at home for anything, I just wish it were easier for me to get out and interact with the world more.

It's that way for me too. There are almost no opportunities here... No mommy groups or anything like that. I live far from friends, so I haven't gotten to get out with them either, so I have had some down times, but I do enjoy being a SAHM. I don't plan on working ever (if I don't need to), but I hope that I'll get more opportunities to get out as LO gets older. It's a job, so, like you may have with a job outside the home, there are moments when you're really looking forward to a break. I guess the thing with staying at home is that it can feel like that break may never come... Which is why it's so important to get out with H or friends or get out alone.

clineak · May 2012

I get what you guys are saying, and agree with most if it, but I wonder-do you define yourself as "depressed?"

swimiz500 · May 2012

clineak:
I get what you guys are saying, and agree with most if it, but I wonder-do you define yourself as "depressed?"

I do, as do the medical professionals I go to. But to be fair, I was long before I was a SAHM.

Timshel17 · May 2012

clineak:
I get what you guys are saying, and agree with most if it, but I wonder-do you define yourself as "depressed?"

I do not, not at all. As I said, I have down times, but I don't feel depressed at all. I believe a lot of that is because I feel totally confident that being a SAHM is what I am called to do. I haven't given up any hopes and dreams, nor did I quit a job I loved to do this. This is what I am supposed to do and I am very happy about that!

clineak · May 2012

Gotcha.

katie4253 · May 2012

For me it was absolutely true.

AmandaP678 · May 2012

I guess I'm in the minority here, I love being home with the boys. Don't get me wrong there's times where I just need a break, but I think anyone would need a break. We're very busy through out the day. I've become friends with other moms and we get together often even if it's just to a playground. I also started taking Tim to story time when he was 1 partially to get him around other kids and to get us both out of the house.

But I can see how being a stay at home mom is isolating at the same time, you don't get the constant adult interaction you would get if you worked

And I do think of going back to work partially because I feel like i wasted all that time in college and wasted a degree.

Mason&Mama · May 2012

But from the other side, as a working mom, the only thing that gets me down is feeling like I am not there for my son. I know I am doing what I have to do, but I get sad that I have to leave him, that I miss his bedtime, that I miss his middle-of-the night wake-ups, that I don't get those first morning smiles. I dread it all day on the days I have to go into work, and I feel bad that I am not my full energy self on the days after I worked all night. I would by no means put myself into a depression category, but I do get down about it. I loved being home for 6 months, and I never felt bored or stuck on repetition. I understand that 6 months is different than years, but I completely felt that SAHM would have been ideal for me. Ia completely understand the article, but just offering a point of view from a working mom.

BoogieMonster629 · May 2012

I SAH and I'm not depressed, I get bored, but not depressed.

CocoBrynne · May 2012

I would be depressed if I had to leave my LO for 8 hours a day to go to work. I am definitely not depressed being a SAHM. My mom was a SAHM and now a housewife for her entire life and she is one of the happiest people that I know.

AsOctoberFalls · May 2012

I'm with Mason&Mama. I work full-time, and I get very depressed about it because I feel like I'm missing my son's childhood. It would be easier if he stayed up later, but I only see him awake about 1.5 hours on the days I work. He spends 10.5 hours in daycare. It sucks.

Luckily I do like my job most days, even though I've been in a funk lately. I wish I could work part time.

Timshel17 · May 2012

CocoBrynne:
I would be depressed if I had to leave my LO for 8 hours a day to go to work. I am definitely not depressed being a SAHM. My mom was a SAHM and now a housewife for her entire life and she is one of the happiest people that I know.

I feel this way too. If I were working, I think I'd be depressed.

jmo866 · May 2012

clineak:
I get what you guys are saying, and agree with most if it, but I wonder-do you define yourself as "depressed?"

I wouldn't define myself as depressed, but I would see how many women could become depressed, especially after extended periods of time. I love DS to no end, of course, but I am reallllly looking forward to going back to work in September. I am not SAHM material, I think it takes a special woman!

dairygirl19 · May 2012

katie4253:
For me it was absolutely true.

Yep.

People told me over and over again I'd never go to my part-time teaching job again and I'd stay home and farm with H ALL the time becuase I wouldn't want to leave LO.

I was on a maternity leave until Dec. and I had to go back to school. H and I were picking fights over nothing, farming with a kid isn't easy either, I felt like I did nothing but talk about cows and babies all day long. I never felt trapped in the house/home with the kid but out here in the sticks there's only so many places you can go/things to do that are baby friendly. My house had never been cleaner, I'd never made more dinners and never worked harder on the farm I was busy but still lonely and bored.

Once I went back to school I wasn't so sad, I was me again and felt so much more accomplished. I loved my time at home with LO but I love school and she loves daycare...she's a big fan of playmates and even she was getting bored at home. So much so...she's still going two days a week in the summer so I can farm or grocery shop in peace.

It's so easy to say put yourself out there and you won't be depressed. Easy to say until you're in a place that there's nowhere to put yourself. I'm the youngest in an area where grandma age reigns in a dying midwestern farm town..I love where I live but join a play group or hit the zoo...isn't an option.

lisamoe · May 2012

I agree that it could be true, for sure. I think SAHMs do have "jobs" that are never complete. That being said, so do Moms who work.

I am not depressed. Sometimes, yes, I get a little lonely or bored. Sometimes I crave adult conversation and definitely miss the extra money that comes with an extra paycheck.

But...I wouldn't trade my life for anything. I adore being able to spend every minute with my son. I feel blessed every day that I can be home with him.

AmandaP678 · May 2012

CocoBrynne:
I would be depressed if I had to leave my LO for 8 hours a day to go to work. I am definitely not depressed being a SAHM. My mom was a SAHM

This! Exactly!

Amitchell0626 · May 2012

I agree. I hate staying home, it's not for me at all. But my entire paycheck would go to childcare so it's pointless to work. Some days, yes, I would say I am depressed.
We have a ton of mommy/baby groups and things to do here so that helps a lot. Some days DH needs the car so those days suck, it usually ends up being crap weather those days too so even a walk wont happen

boogerbearoriginal · May 2012

Well I work FT and I still have the monotony of chores that never end, like laundry so I can't see how that's different for SAHMs and there are times my work seems like dealing with the same thing day after day. . And reading the percentages in the responses it's not a HUGE difference between the groups anyway.

I think it's such an individual thing that studies like this are pointless. Different people are happier doing different things. And whether we are happy/depressed or any where in between is influenced by more than whether a person works or SAH. Marital satisfaction, financial well being, health of self/spouse/children/other family, friends, etc. all factor into a persons happiness.

Once again it feels like the media is just trying to stir up the "mommy wars". Seriously, isn't there real news for them to cover?

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