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Natural Birth
DawnLilly
member
I physically cant stop crying. CS vent
DawnLilly
member
My husband's friend and his wife turned out to be due just two weeks before we were. Yay! Not so much. I went with a MW right away. I knew my exact conception date. She had absolutely no idea and solely went by the dating u/s. I'm not trying to say this is a bad thing, just siting differences. I despised being pregnant but everyday imagined my med free birth with anticipation and excitement, never fear. It really got me through. At 33 weeks I stating doing spinning babies and seeing a chiro with full faith baby would turn. It never did. I had a version on Tuesday that also failed. The MW and OB both commented on my ability to relax myself and my determination. I cried for days at the prospect of a c section, hell I'm still crying. The one thing getting me through everyday until LO is here was taken away from me and replaced with something I hate and have to think about everyday for the next two weeks. The woman I spoke of said many times how silly I was for not wanting meds and that she wanted everything she could get and how I would probably break down and ask for them anyway. She gave birth today in what was a total labor time of 6 hours. She never received her epi and "it was the most amazing magical thing ever. It wasn't that bad, I'm glad I didn't get it." I am happy for her but I am so upset for myself. I am having a total breakdown right now and if one more person says to me that c sections aren't that bad or that at least baby and mommy are healthy I might seriously hit them. Not helping right now, true but does it look like I give a sh*t.
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Re: I physically cant stop crying. CS vent
I'm so sorry.
Maybe some women who are more familiar with ICAN can weigh in on of this is appropriate, but I wonder if it may be worth calling to the leader of your local chapter for some support even before the birth.
More Green For Less Green
I'm really sorry you're going through this. I don't have any particular advice to offer, just wanted to say that I hope you are able to find some peace with the birth experience you're heading into.
best wishes for the arrival of your wee one.
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
If I read your post correctly, you still have two weeks to get that baby to turn, right? Please don't give up hope yet! My DD turned at 39 weeks, 3 days. Everyone, including my midwife, had given up hope that she would turn but I just kept trying everything under the sun. Have you tried acupuncture and/or moxibustion? How about visualization and positive thinking? Swimming and underwater head stands (I know this sounds ridiculous and I'm sure I looked really strange while doing this at the YMCA pool at 39 weeks pregnant but I didn't care!)? Spinning babies exercises? Just because you have a c-section scheduled doesn't mean you should give up trying!
Also, are there any OBs in your area who do breech vaginal births? The OB that oversees my midwife group does them; however, I wasn't a candidate due to DD's position (one leg up, one leg down). You might want to consider switching to an OB that will do a breech birth if you are really against having a c-section.
Good luck!!
I see. I would still try the visualization and positive thinking, though. Miracles can happen! Best of luck!
are there any OB's in town who will do a vaginal breech birth?
Hugs mama
I'm sorry. My baby is also breech, and the thought of a c/s is also making me feel really depressed.
Yes, deifnitely look into breech vaginal birth options! I know that my birth center does it, so it's possible that there are OBs/doctors/centers in your area who would be willing to do that too.
Good luck to you!!
ETA - just saw your response to PP. Don't give up hope yet - some babies even flip DURING labor, so there is still hope
Ditto all of this. GL
Maybe you should step away from birth stories for a bit.
Babies can turn up until the last minute, so I would ask for an ultrasound at the 11th hour to confirm baby's position before they proceed with the c-section.
It is great that you are starting your C/S birth plan, definitely discuss it with your provider at your next visit. Also try to contact your local ICAN group, at least in my area they are a very welcoming and supportive group. ICAN and your MW can make suggestions as far as your birth plan to possibly make you a better VBAC candidate next time (low transverse incision, double suturing uterus, suture akin ahit rather than staples, etc.)
It makes sense to wait at least until your due date to give LO every chance to turn. How would your midwife be involved if you do have to go forward with the C/S? Ultimately you have to decide with the timing of things what you feel most comfortable with as far as the MW going out of town.
My DS was breech and needed a C/S. it was not at all the birth I wanted although recovery was much better than I expected and we are making every effort for a VBAC this time. I really hope LO turns, try not to give up hope! GL!
OP - I am really sorry. I too had breech babies. I planned on a breech/breech vaginal delivery of my twins and then baby B flipped to head down at 35 1/2 weeks. You can't deliver breech/cephalic twins for fear of interlocking heads.
I made them do an ultrasound on the day of the c-section just to make sure baby A was still breech.
The c-section was fine. The recovery was very rough but now all I have is a very small scar.
I too did everything (except attempted version).
In the end, I am very glad that babies and I were safe. I asked (err instructed) my doctors to close my uterus in 2 layers to decrease risk of uterine rupture if we have another baby so that I can VBAC.
Trust me....if anyone wanted a med-free vaginal delivery it was me. My life is delivering babies. And I had a c-section. It took me a very long time to deal with it and now it is what it is. It is what was medically necessary to ensure a safe delivery for all of us. That is far more important than anything.
Best of luck.
I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this right now. It's tough dealing with feelings about birth b/c even though you know you're making a good decision for baby it still hurts you. It's ok to be sad about your experience, yet happy about your baby at the same time. Parenting is very humbling.
And just think, your baby might be sleeping through the night while your friend is still up every few hours
. The universe has a way of making up for things...
I've had an unplanned and then a scheduled c-section and both were very powerful experiences. I dealt with a lot of anger and disappointment after DS was born via unplanned section (pushed for 2 hrs but a previous car accident/pelvic injury prevented him from passing through my pelvis), but I've learned so much since then. I know that all of the feelings I had to process were completely valid and necessary, but since then I've truly realized that everyone's birth experience is different and no one can truly control how it will play out.
Going into my planned c-section to give birth to my daughter I absolutely did not feel like a failure, less of a mother, like I was missing out on an experience that I was somehow entitled to (a med-free, natural birth -- like what I was wanting when I went into labour with my son)... none of that.
I felt pride and excitement as I prepared for her delivery... and when she was born and I saw her for the first time it was the most amazing moment. I was able to nurse her essentially right away (and she's still going strong), we've bonded with no issues and my physical recovery has been great. It's also incredibly heartwarming how my midwife was able to help my husband bond with our children and be involved in the birth both times -- much more than if it had been a vaginal delivery. I love that.
I know how necessary to work through everything that you're feeling, but I wanted to share my personal experience to hopefully encourage you in this.
Do not let anything take away from your joy as you give birth to your baby.
NO ONE can control how their child enters the world -- it's your child's transition into your arms to be nurtured and loved and THAT is why birth is so powerful.
The power of birth is not found in the mechanics of how that birth took place but in the love that it takes to bring your child into the world.
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living my baby you'll be.
- Robert Munsch
So true and well written.
Heh, that's true. I had an enviable labor and delivery, but DD was a colicky, angry baby for 3-4 months.
Anyway, it's okay to be sad. There are way better suggestions that I can offer, but I'll hope that baby still turns, and that you find peace with whatever way baby comes into the world.
absolutely do this.
also, have you exhausted all other methods for turning the baby?
homeopathics
hypnosis
acupuncture
am i missing any?
if it is not safe for your baby to turn, he just won't. they know best. we have to trust them. i know that might mean we don't get the birth that we want. my son was born surgically after a very long labor and it was absolutely crushing. i know what you are going through. only, my surgery came as a surprise.
i have a hypnosis track that i recorded (i'm a hypnotherapist and i work with women with breech babies) that i'd be happy to share with you. email me offline at Lindsey AT sunflowershealingandwellness DOT com if you are interested.
I am so sorry. I had an unplanned c/s and it was devastating to me. I want to VBAC this time but there's still a possibility that I will get another c/s. However, if that's the case I feel that it can be a much more positive experience. Look up gentle/natural cesarean (there is a youtube video) and look at birth plans. Ask your OB if you can do any of these things to try to make it a better experience. See if you can meet the anesthesiologist ahead of time to talk about the medication that will be used. I also think it would be a good idea to go to an ICAN meeting or talk to an ICAN leader if possible.
If it were me I think I would wait to go into labor. There is always the possibility tthat baby will get untangled and turn, plus I think it's best to let babies pick their birthday.
You are lucky that you know ahead of time that this is a strong possibility so there's a lot you can do to prep for it. I think that was the worst thing about my c/s--I was so unprepared and didn't know things would happen like they did. I think you can turn it into a positive experience as much as possible. Big hugs and good luck to you.
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
((hug))
I'm very sorry to hear that you're having a hard time and I kind of want to slap that other woman. She has the worst timing and it's irritating.
I also wanted to add another at-home thing you could try. I agree with a pp that said that if baby can't/shouldn't turn, it won't no matter what you try. With that said, I was able to get my 3rd baby to flip at about 38w from breech to head down. He had flipped the week before and due to some placental issues I was not a candidate for a version either. I did all the other spinningbabies tips (minus chiro and moxibustion) and nothing worked. A friend who is very much into natural remedies told me to try putting peppermint essential oil on the top of my belly where babies head was. I guess they don't like the smell and try to turn away. I put it on before bed one night and he was head down in the morning.
I know you said he's gotten to transverse and flips back, so it might not work. I just wanted to mention another simple thing you could try.
I understand how you feel though. I had two med-free births before my potential c-section and that week in between my initial appt. and going back to double check his position were horrible for me. I felt devastated and like I wouldn't even come close to getting to experience the birth like I had done before. I felt angry and really sad. What helped me was reading positive c-section stories and talking to two SIL's who had had c-sections to get advice and tips from them. One SIL loved the experience and the other was in the middle. But even just getting some first hand comments/tips/advice of what to expect and what I could look forward to help me cope.
I hope that you are able to enjoy your child's birth, now matter how he/she comes into this world. It's a miracle regardless.
There is not much I can add to what everyone else has said, but I highly recommend you check out the book "Birthing from Within" if you haven't already. There is a section about having a positive c section birth. The section on the compassionate use of the epidural helped me after having my first. I had a very disappointing birth experience myself the first time around.
You've clearly tried everything you possibly could and eliminated all the possible what-ifs. I hope this helps you not to blame yourself. I wish you a peaceful and beautiful birth, whatever that ends up being for you. And I agree with what a pp said-parenting is very humbling.