Clara Juliet's birthstory (XP) really long with giant PIPs. . .

lotus88 · May 2012

Sorry this is so incredibly late. I started writing it twice, then had technical difficulties and lost it. Also, apparently you can't edit the size of pics on tinypic? Maybe I'm missing something. It's entirely possible. They're gigantic. Sorry for that also.

Short version: Clara Juliet arrived on Saturday, April 28th, at 9:43am after 41 min of pushing, 12 hours after my water broke, and with a bad epidural. She was 9lb, 9oz and 21 1/2 inches long and perfect.

Long version: Brace yourself. It?s long and I haven?t proof read. That?s my disclaimer. On the morning of the 26th, I thought I was leaking. I called the on call OB and she had us come in. In triage, they did the swab and fern testing and it turned out I wasn't leaking. I don't know if it was pee or mucus or lube from the exam the day before. (Now to catch you up, the day before I was still just at 2cm with 50% effaced. My progress was super slow. On the 26th I was 41w. My induction was scheduled for the 29th into the 30th. Clara was estimated to weight 9lb7oz. Had she been estimated at 10 lb, they would've recommended C section.)

Anyway, they sent us home and told us to have lots of sex. We had sex twice that day and pretty much just lounged in bed. On Friday, I went on a long shopping outing trying to get things goings. At noon, at Wal-Mart, the contractions became regular at 10 min intervals. At two, they increased to every 6 min, where they plateaued all evening. I called the on call OB and they said to wait until I couldn't talk through them. This didn't happen. The intensity was very slowly increasing, but not to that point.

At 9:30, while lying in bed having a stronger contraction, I heard a pop. If you can imagine what a corked balloon would sound like if it came uncorked, that's kind of what it sounded like. Like a wet pop. Let me tell you, the relief that brought felt so good. Momentarily. I jumped out of bed and there was absolutely no question that my water had broken. It just kept gushing. Thank god I wasn't out shopping.

Anyway, DH threw me a towel and we packed last minute things while we waited for the on call OB to call back (me holding a towel between my legs). By the time we got into the car, my contractions were definitely increasing in intensity. In triage, I was 6cm and 80% effaced. I was already requesting an epidural before I was officially admitted. It took three pokes, but they finally got the epidural in. Unfortunately, it only partly worked on my left side. Booo They couldn?t give me anything else, but offered to replace the epidural. Given the difficulty they had, I declined (at the point of offering I was already 9cm so I was hoping to be pushing soon).

I sat at 9cm from maybe 3am on. Let me tell you, the pain of the contractions, during which my body was baring down, really wanting to push, pushing without my control sometimes,. . . That pain was far more exhausting and intense than actually pushing her out. I felt like that chick from the exorcist at times. The contractions were so intense that I was practically levitating off the bed contorting by holding on to the side bars. The breathing exercises helped some, but they just couldn?t match some of the contractions.

At 9:02am on April 28th, I started pushing. I really didn?t know if I was doing it right. I was convinced they were lying to me about the progress she was making just to encourage me. Turns out they weren?t. Clara came at 9:43am. Perfection. It happened so fast. She came out, they suctioned her like crazy and it seemed like they tossed her on my chest. I was completely just. . . stunned. There was really a baby. And she was on my chest. A live, screaming, wet, and bloody, plump little baby. Wtf. Really? No way. I was just in overload. She was and is perfect. I can?t even believe we made it.

I definitely felt the ring of fire, but it didn?t last long. I had a 2nd degree tear and some small tears on my labia (didn?t even know that happened). When I asked the OB how many stitches I had, she said, ?um, enough.? Haha My placenta took forever to come out. I expected to continue having contractions and deliver it as I had the baby. Mine wouldn?t budge, and I didn?t have the contractions anymore. Least I didn?t feel them. The OB actually tugged on the cord while she massaged my abdomen to help it release. That was a very strange sensation. When it finally came out, I asked to see it. I was particularly curious to see if you could see that it had aged. They showed me the calcifications on it. It kind of looked like super vascular liver, but lighter in color. The OB said mine was really big and that?s why Clara was so big. Not sure if that?s true.

Apparently I hemorrhaged some. Not exceptional amount, but more than normal. They gave me a shot of methergen and a bag of oxytocin to get some contractions going to stop the bleeding. I didn?t know the bleeding was an issue until afterward. I was just more than happy to lay there while they stitched me up (still feeling most of that) while we talked about my new LO that DH was happily taking pictures of and tending to with one of the nurses.

A few weeks ago there was a post discussing how some of us haven?t forgiven our bodies for letting our babies, ourselves, our families down. I commented that I felt angry at the thought that I could ever forgive my body. I still felt so betrayed. Having Clara has given me a good chunk of peace. For that I am so thankful. I hadn?t realized how much I had owned that hatred for what I had been through. I do apologize for my tardiness, wordiness, and disorganization. I?m running on minimal, inconsistent sleep so I tend to ramble.

Clara is a BF champ and always seems to be hungry. She?s growing at a ridiculous rate. She?ll be 3 weeks tomorrow, but because of her length is in 6 month footy pajamas. She skipped the whole newborn size. While in the hospital, she developed jaundice, which both DH and I had as newborns. She had photo therapy there and at home (which was a huge pain in the ass, but worked).

I want to thank all of you wonderful ?ALers. I?ve said it a million times, but TTCAL and PGAL helped me more than I feel I could ever give back. Whether they were my darkest days or my scariest/freak out days, there were always ?ALers who gave a shoulder to cry/lean on. ((big squishy hugs)) I plan on joining PAL. I?m still always lurking on TTCAl and PGAL, but have difficulty posting from my tablet with one arm (because the other one is holding Clara).