Overwhelmed and Stressed.

BMeredith21 · May 2012

My son is a month old as of Sunday and when he cries straight for more than about 10 mins, i start to lose my mind. I don't know what to do with him except let him lay there and cry. He'll usually cry himslef to sleep eventually, but sometimes i want to shake him! Does that make me a bad mom? Sometimes I feel horrible...of course I never do shake him I just lay him down and walk away. Does anyone have ony advice on what to do to keep me sane? Between me having to go back to work soon, my fiance looking for a new job, and the baby, i'm just so stressed out!!! Does anyone else as stressed as I am or am I just horrible?

adreajoy · May 2012

call your doctor. now. if you ever feel like you want to shake your baby, whether you do it or not, get help. Run, don't walk. GET HELP. This could be PPD or PPA and someone can help you.

Lizg1799 · May 2012

It's very normal to be overwhelmed with a newborn. I felt and still feel anxious with my DS. You are doing the right thing by putting him down and giving yourself time to regroup. The best thing my pedi told me was to remember that healthy babies cry. If your baby didn't cry that could be an indication they weren't healthy. I sometimes repeated that over and over in my head when my son was screaming. Also try to not take his crying personally. It's the only way he can communicate. Even if he is simply overstimulated or overtired...that can throw him into a crying fit.

I am compelled to say that you may want to talk to your OB concerning Post Partum depression or anxiety because the shaking comment worries me. I know that you don't think you would actually do that but I'm sure no one who has thought they would either. There is nothing wrong with talking to your doctor...that's what they are there for. And not that medication is the answer but maybe you need something to help you be less anxious.

These boards are very therapeutic and will reassure you that you are not alone.

RnMom2Be · May 2012

First, you are not a bad mom. BUT I agree that you should talk to your OB about PPD. PPD is so common and often goes undiagnosed. Second, I highly recommend the DVD "The Happiest Baby on the Block." It gives great insight to the needs of babies in the first three months of life and tricks on how to get them to stop crying.....it worked great with my colicy DS (who is now three.) Good luck to you and remember to try and take care of yourself too!

winter-shock · May 2012

This is such a tough time. It wouldn't hurt to talk to your doctor about how you are feeling. BUT I am sure you obviously try everything there is to try when he gets like that. My DD1 never cried, i am talking literally never fussed people thought something was wrong with her because she was so good. Well DH and I got a bit of a shock when DD2 came along...she has a voice Luckily she only cries when she needs something.

I did have a frustrating first few days when she would crab and I would change her, feed her, burp her, give her ovol, and she would still be upset. I quickly discovered she is a bit like her mom and when she needs to sleep it has to be now! So when all else failed I swaddled her and held her tight and she would be fast asleep in minutes. She is still like this when she is ready for sleep.

I really hope you find some things that work for you. It does get a lot better as time goes on so hang in there.

kelseybooth · May 2012

i have ppd. its nothing to be ashamed of. its chemicals in your body. the first week my daughter was home i was losing my mind. i talked to my ob and they put me on medication. it made things so much easier to handle within a week. id look into it

but you're not a bad mom. it happens.

Belinda80 · May 2012

I think you should seek help from family memebers, let them stay with you while your feeling like thalt. I'm also stressed, but thas b/c she will not stop crying, but my concern is if something is bothering her. Shaking or ignoring her has never beenan optionfor us. Just remember they are innocent and getting use to this world as well, we have to be patient w/ them.

stemms8810 · May 2012

Ditto what everyone else said. While you are not a bad mom and we all have days/nights where the crying is overwhelming, thoughts about possibly wanting to hurt your baby is something you should talk to your OB about. Every mom feels like they are going to lose their mind at some point. Talking to someone about this will help. My DD screamed her head off in the evenings for a couple weeks and it was overwhelming. Even asking someone to help you with the baby can help to give you a break. Don't be afraid to reach out to family or friends. Good luck!

BMeredith21 · May 2012

Thanks everyone, this really helps!

melpoteet · May 2012

definitely talk to your dr sounds like ppd and that is ok. I have it this time around and am glad I talked to my doctor and friends it is more common than you think and it can get better by talking about it and meds do help too.

Newmoonbaby · May 2012

I agree w the previous posts, especially the book/DVD happiest baby on the block. His technique works wonders for me. My hubby thought I was crazy when I tightly swaddled our wiggly screaming newborn girl, shushed loudly in her ear repeatedly and then swung her around the room (holding her close to me, but still fairly fast), but she stopped crying almost immediately. I discovered once I got her attention that way, I could offer her boob or bottle to see if hungry. If not, then I just swing or gentle bounce with her on the big exercise ball until she falls asleep (just needed soothing). It seems weird, but babies are lulled to sleep by your movement while in the womb, not laying on their back stretched out flat. It's fine to walk away and compose yourself, but it sounds like you could benefit from learning some different coping mechanisms. Join a parenting group IRL perhaps? I also found that for my baby, if I don't catch her early in the crying phase, it is much harder to calm her back down. my two cents. Best of luck to you, and don't forget to soothe yourself too! you are doing a great job! This mommy thing is hard sometimes

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