Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
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Re: SN FAQ: First signs of Autism
Do you have any other advice for parents worrying about their child having Autism? Follow your gut and don't just accept "he or she will be fine" "they are just a late talker" or "wait and see". Our pediatrician gave us that advice and I just couldn't accept it. I had a nagging feeling in my gut that was telling me otherwise. Seek out Early Intervention services and make a phone call. You know your child the best and do what ever it takes to get the answers you need. DS has come such a long way since we started services in Nov (speech, early child hood, OT).
Welcome to the Special Needs Frequently Asked Question thread! Please feel free to also create your own post in a new thread if you need more information or support. If you do post your own thread, we want as many parents as possible in your similar situation to 'see' your question. Please be specific and include the potential diagnosis or procedure in your post title.
I am worried about my child having autism.
Can you tell me what age your child was when you first noticed signs?
First took notice at 18 months. Contacted EI at 24 months. Started speech therapy at 25 months. Had an evaluation done by developmental psychologist at 27 months and received provisional diagnosis of Pdd-Nos. Currently on wait list for dev pedi.
What were those signs?
Speech delay, sensory seeking behaviors, lining up of toys and tantrum-ing if toys were messed with by sisters. At the church nursery he would hide in a corner away from the other kids, did not want to engage in their play.
Do you have any other advice for parents worrying about their child having Autism?
Have EI come out as soon as you have a concern. We wasted 6 months of possible therapy because the pedi and I decided to wait and see with his speech delay.
I am worried about my child having autism.
Can you tell me what age your child was when you first noticed signs?
Unfortunately I didn't. Autism never even crossed my mind.
What were those signs?
See above.
Do you have any other advice for parents worrying about their child having Autism?
If you notice anything call EI right away.
Our story is that our son was receiving speech services under speech delay. Before he started therapy for this, though, he had learned words and then lost them. We sought out EI because we knew he needed more speech than he was getting under the diagnosis of speech delay and the insurances were having to renew the therapy each month, but the paperwork trail was so slow in getting him services. We had to wait 2-3 months in between every 4 sessions of services! He was diagnosed with PDD-NOS at 2 1/2. All of the signs were there, we just didn't know anything about it before then. He never had eye contact, lined up his toys, stimmed (spun in circles), didn't talk, sat for hours alone, banged his head, didn't help get dressed, couldn't use a spoon or fork well, etc. Now he's a happy 8 yr old who continues to receive speech services through the school system along with other services to meet his academic needs. He's in a mainstream classroom and is pulled out for his extra services.
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Can you tell me what age your child was when you first noticed signs?
I have twins with autism. One was 15 months old, the other 17 months.
What were those signs?
With G, I noticed he was making awkward hand movements near his face. He was also over focused on knots in the hardwood floor - he would crawl around them.With AJ it was his lack of speech, and having an identical twin brother with autism.
Do you have any other advice for parents worrying about their child having Autism?
Trust your gut. It can't hurt to have an evaluation done - it is better to be over cautious.
If your child gets a diagnosis, it will be ok. Different, but ok. We will all be here to listen.
Can you tell me what age your child was when you first noticed signs?
I have twins with autism. One was 15 months old, the other 17 months.
What were those signs?
With G, I noticed he was making awkward hand movements near his face. He was also over focused on knots in the hardwood floor - he would crawl around them.With AJ it was his lack of speech, and having an identical twin brother with autism.
Do you have any other advice for parents worrying about their child having Autism?
Trust your gut. It can't hurt to have an evaluation done - it is better to be over cautious.
If your child gets a diagnosis, it will be ok. Different, but ok. We will all be here to listen.
Can you tell me what age your child was when you first noticed signs?
At 16 months our DCP called us regarding her concerns about DS' autism.
What were those signs?
I didn't see many of these signs, for the record. Most were very subtle. He had poor eye contact (not non-existant eye contact, just poor). He didn't really point for things, he'd just sortof reach. He would take my hand and bring my hand to something he wanted. He had very few words at 16 months. In retrospect, he did show a little regression- at 10-12 months he was saying "Mama" but then he didn't say it again. He didn't really play with toys like they were intended. There was no imaginative play, he was merely manipulating toys (e.g. turning the wheels of a car, or just pushing buttons for effect). He was very irritable. He wasn't colicky as a baby, but he always needed to be entertained somehow, as if he was always bored and needed to be stimulated. He rarely engaged with other kids. He would cry when they would take a toy from him, when the age appropriate thing to do would be say "No! Mine!". He had a wicked oral fixation (licking things, pacifier until he was 3).
Do you have any other advice for parents worrying about their child having Autism?
I felt like I was pretty sure all the naysayers were off base on DS diagnosis. But I went through with all the therapy offered because I was afraid he wouldn't be kindy ready. As he grew up it became much easier to accept the diagnosis for what it is; it isn't life ending, it's just different. Be open minded and accept any help offered.
Do you have any other advice for parents worrying about their child having Autism?
If you are concerned, write down ALL of your concerns and then call early intervention, even without support from your pediatrician. Set up an appt. w/ the best Children's Hospital developmental pediatrician/behavioral pediatrics near you for expert opinion and diagnosis. Get on the floor and engage; follow your child's lead. Don't beat yourself up, and make sure you rest. Read everything you can on development without going crazy, be honest with yourself about your child, but never miss the beauty and strengths he or she has to offer. Tune out family and friends who second guess you or negate your efforts. YOU are the parent, and you can make a world of a difference, especially between ages 0-3. And bottom line, just don't wait.I'm very new to my sons PDD-NOS diagnosis.
Can you tell me what age your child was when you first noticed signs?
Honestly, Autism wasn't even really on my radar until concerns were brought to me by the SpEd team at DS's preschool. He met pretty much all of his milestones on the later side of average and was talking right on time. Responded to his name, made eye contact, had joint attention etc. When he was around 1.5-2 years old I started noticing that I had to chase him down and redirect him A LOT more than other parents when we were in group settings (Music Class, Story times, Gymnastics etc). I kind of had a feeling in my gut that something was up but I have a pretty strong family history of ADHD. I figured we'd get to that bridge a little later.
He started preschool a few weeks before he turned 3. I enrolled him in a local public school. When they said it was an inclusive class I just thought awesome he'll get exposure to all sorts of kids. A few weeks in I asked the SpEd teacher how he was doing. I was thinking that him being an only and having limited social exposure without me present he might be struggling a bit. She kind of got a look and told me he was struggling with self regulation but it might just be the transition. She kind of had a look that said she was holding back. A few weeks later an appointment was set up with the SpEd team. A few weeks later we had an IEP meeting on the books. At the end of Nov we had a signed IEP. Which spelled out that he was pretty much behind in all areas looked at except articulation and rote knowledge. At the time he was talking in short sentences but mostly to label and get needs met. Thinking back he didn't make much progress in speech (or really any thing but speech is most noticeable) between age 2 and 3. I noticed a little girl who is a few months younger having a full blown conversation with her mom at his 3rd birthday party and that got my attention a little too.
Still ASD wasn't really on my radar-his pedi didn't think he had it based on in office behavior (looking back to gauge my reaction when he was doing something he was told not too do) but was willing to give us a referral to a Dev Pedi. The school SLP didn't think he had Autism based on her own personal experience (a son with AS). I took his Pedi's referral in late Oct just to be sure since I knew wait lists were long.
What were those signs?
Speech Delay, echolalia, Fine/Gross Motor Delay, mostly parallel play at 3, inappropriate in social situations (sitting too close, touching and bumping into peers and adults instead of talking), Sensory issues (the bumping, high pain tolerance, and very distracted by auditory and visual stimuli), Struggles with self regulation. limited imaginative play.
Do you have any other advice for parents worrying about their child having Autism?
I sooo new to this. DS just got his diagnosis early this month. I guess if I had advice it would be to trust your gut. I knew *something* was going on around two. I kind of let others appease my fears until people in the know no longer allowed me to ignore it.
DS 09/2008