Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

Am I supposed to get a gift?

I got an invitation in the mail a few weeks ago to my cousin's high school graduation and party.  I very rarely see my aunt and her kids, although they live only 3 hours away now.  I actually just saw them in December when they were in town for a hockey game.  But before that, it had been 2007 at my wedding and before that, it was around 1998.  I don't think I will be able to go.  It's a long drive for a party, but is this really just a fishing for gifts type of thing?  Do you think that's really why I was invited?  My aunt and uncle have been very generous with me and gave me gifts for my wedding and my baby shower.  Am I supposed to get my cousin a present even if I can't attend, and if so, what's appropriate for a high school graduation? 
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Re: Am I supposed to get a gift?

  • Yes- I would get a gift. And graduation parties IMO are party to get some money. I would just send cash or a gas or shopping gift card. It doesn't even have to be much, but it is the thought that counts.
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  • MrsSRMrsSR member

    Were you fishing for gifts when you invited them to your wedding?

    I think they are inviting you because you are family-send a gift.  Money is what most high schoolers want.

  • abs05abs05 member
    I would send a gift.  A 25 dollar check would be appropriate--it doesn't have to be anything big.
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  • imageMrsSR:

    Were you fishing for gifts when you invited them to your wedding?

    I think they are inviting you because you are family-send a gift.  Money is what most high schoolers want.

    This exactly.  Sounds like you've invited them for a few things as well where you would expect a gift.
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  • Most likely they invited you becuase they want you to celebrate with them. Yes, I would still send a gift...like other said 25 is fine....knowing myself I would do 50
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  • Hey, I live in Dunn, not too far from you.

    Do you know if you're cousin is going to college?  What I usually do with these things is go to the college's website and find their bookstore and get a $25 GC.  This will not come close to covering even a single book, but it will probably be enough for them to get a T-shirt or something from their new school. 


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  • Yes, you should get a gift. If I were you and you aren't planning on going, send a card with money.
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  • imagemeganandchase:

    Hey, I live in Dunn, not too far from you.

    Do you know if you're cousin is going to college?  What I usually do with these things is go to the college's website and find their bookstore and get a $25 GC.  This will not come close to covering even a single book, but it will probably be enough for them to get a T-shirt or something from their new school. 

    This is exactly what I did for all of my younger cousins.

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  • Okay, thanks for the tips!  I was thinking something along the lines of $25 and more likely cash or a gift card.  I love the college bookstore idea.  He's going to Liberty College, so maybe I'll go get him one of those.  My aunt and uncle and their kids are super sweet, so I'm not wanting to be stingy or anything.  I just haven't been to a high school graduation since my own and I can't remember if I got gifts or not. 

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  • I would send a gift card or a check with a nice card.

    Or plan-B, that could come in handy in college Stick out tongue

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Joking...kind of.

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  • Yeah, I probably would send something since they've always gotten you something. I like to give something that will help in the "next phase" for graduation gifts. My cousin that just graduated college got a macys gift card with instructions to put it towards a job interview suit. If he's going to college some money to put towards books/tuiton would be nice, or a gift card to target to help get things for his dorm etc.
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  • MJN9510MJN9510 member

    Yes I agree you should send a card with money or gift card or something.  They are family and they have gotten you gifts for things before.

    My cousins graduation party is tomorrow and she lives 3 hours away also.  I am going to the graduation party and giving her a card with $25 in it.  I wouldnt normally go, but I do see everyone on that side of the family 3 or 4 times a year...so i feel like I do need to attend. However, if I could not attend, I would still send a card with $.

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  • Well I don't know what your relationships are like with your extended family, but I would not give my cousins gifts for HS grad. But 1) I'm not that close with any of my cousins and 2) we don't really do gifts in general in my family. Anyway, it's a moot point because everyone here has said send cash and you seem to agree.

    ETA: also, imo, the fact that the parents have gotten you gifts for major life events like a wedding, doesn't mean you have to get their kid a gift for a pretty standard event like hs grad.

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  • imageRobinSparkles214:

    I would send a gift card or a check with a nice card.

    Or plan-B, that could come in handy in college Stick out tongue

    i about peed myself LOL 

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Joking...kind of.

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  • greyt00greyt00 member

    I got a HS grad announcement for my cousin's son.  Last May I sent a card and check to his older brother for college graduation.  He didn't send a thank you note.  I was annoyed and mostly blame his mother for this.  She didn't send me a baby card/gift, either (had my son a few months before her son graduated) so I really don't want to send anything to brother.  I haven't seen my cousin since my sister had her baby (it's been almost 5 years -- they said they would come visit me after I had one but never did).  I haven't seen her kids since I got married.  I don't think I'm going to send anything this time.  Yes, he's getting "punished" for his brother's/mother's lack of manners.  I'm really annoyed by the lack of thank you note (my parents didn't get one, either).  I'll save future gifts for their weddings... and then that's all.

    That being said, I would send something if I were you, in this situation.  $20 or something.  Feel free to be stingy next time if you don't get a thank you note!  ;-)

     
  • We drove down to Austin for the college graduation of my cousin's cousin whom I had not seen since he was 3. It was important for us to do. If you want you can just send a card. If you really want, you can send some cash.

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  • I always do a target gift card for hs graduation and cash for college graduation.
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