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June 2012 Moms
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Maybe I'm just cranky today.....(delivery room)

Michelle164Michelle164
in June 2012 Moms

I read all these posts, and have posted about it myself, about all of us poor women who have to justify who we want in the room when we have the baby or right after wards. Why can't we have a little privacy and dignity? Don't we have to go through enough?

I'm not talking about those of us who WANT various people in the room or right after wards-that is TOTALLY ok. I'm talking about those of us who (myself included) have to dance around other people's feelings when its OUR bodies being displayed and US having to grunt, sweat, push, have surgery, etc to get our miracle reward (a precious LO). 

I just don't get why having a baby is a spectator sport. 

Sorry, just a very cranky pregnant lady here today :)

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Re: Maybe I'm just cranky today.....(delivery room)

  • Gismo123Gismo123 member
    Amen! It's our body so we should have the final say in who gets to view a very personal area.
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  • PregNerdPregNerd
    I'm quite thankful our hospital/health care area has very specific rules. You can have a max of two people in the delivery room with you (they get wristbands) and the only people allowed to visit while you are in hospital are siblings and grandparents of the newborn. Since the say is maybe 2 days on average now, that makes sense for me.
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  • mamayo26mamayo26 member

    I assume you are talking about friends and family as opposed to healthcare professionals (aka doctors and nurses).

    I don't "dance" I have indicated who I want and that I really don't want anyone else there. and if people do come the the hospital it will not be immediately following the birth it will be hours if at all.

    If I have a vag birth they can wait until we are home, if it is a c/s and I have to stay in the hospital for a few days then fine, but really noting big is going to happen in a couple days, they can wait. And if they "can't" too bad.

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  • DancerppfDancerppf member
    I agree with you as well. People should be understanding during this time which is different for every woman.
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  • kdjuddkdjudd member
    Amen. I hate the family drama that is going on in my life right now! I don't understand why people can't respect the wishes of my husband and I. After all, the birth of our child is a very special moment in our lives. The last thing I want is for it to be turned into a dramatic family argument or for the bonding time with my baby to be cut short by visitors. 
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  • Davesgrl2011Davesgrl2011 member

    This has been an issue since I first saw the double line on that pee-stick.  I don't want a lot of visitors immediately following the birth as I will be a mess and trying to breast feed (my hospital wants the baby on the breast ASAP after birth, def. within the hour, which I agree with).  My DH's family, on the other hand, want to be let into the room as soon as the OB is done with me (if not sooner) b/c they don't think it is "fair" that my mom will see the baby before them (my mom is one of my coaches).  My DH keeps swinging back and forth between giving in to his family and making me happy, so I told him that I was going to let the maternity desk (my hospital has a very strict and awesome security system complete with locked maternity doors) know that no one was allowed in until at least three hours after Owen is born and that it wasn't his (DH's) choice. 

    I've posted before about why anyone other than the mom and (possibly) dad think they have a right to butt in or dictate what will happen at such a personal moment.  And honestly, ladies?  This is our one chance to have it EXACTLY the way WE want it. 

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  • FutureNicholsFutureNichols
    I had to do a full on samba around my godmother.  She just didn't get that I didn't want her in the room.  This is my second baby and you weren't there then, you are not going to be there now.  DH is all I need.
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  • WordSmith85WordSmith85
    Ditto to all this. Thankfully DH stood up for our rights as parents with his family. It's not like we're having a BBQ; it's a medical procedure with possible complications. Everyone who does not need to be there shouldn't be there!
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  • TnG05TnG05
    You don't sound cranky to me at all.  We had to compromise because if I had my way no one would be at the hospital waiting and everyone would get a call after the baby was here.  My DH, thinks his parents (my mom is out of state) should be able to be there for the "celebration of birth" right after the arrives like once the docs are done they should be able to come into the room.  I wanted at least an hour just enjoying and bonding with our LO...sigh.  The compromise is he can call them when I'm truly in labor and if they want to come and sit in the waiting room until I say it's ok to come in then fine but don't think I'm going to rush my bonding time. This is probably the last time I'll get to be selfish and I plan on doing it.  FWIW, my mom isn't coming up until July :(
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  • sheilatakesabowsheilatakesabow member
    imageDavesgrl2011:

    This has been an issue since I first saw the double line on that pee-stick.  I don't want a lot of visitors immediately following the birth as I will be a mess and trying to breast feed (my hospital wants the baby on the breast ASAP after birth, def. within the hour, which I agree with).  My DH's family, on the other hand, want to be let into the room as soon as the OB is done with me (if not sooner) b/c they don't think it is "fair" that my mom will see the baby before them (my mom is one of my coaches).  My DH keeps swinging back and forth between giving in to his family and making me happy, so I told him that I was going to let the maternity desk (my hospital has a very strict and awesome security system complete with locked maternity doors) know that no one was allowed in until at least three hours after Owen is born and that it wasn't his (DH's) choice. 

    I've posted before about why anyone other than the mom and (possibly) dad think they have a right to butt in or dictate what will happen at such a personal moment.  And honestly, ladies?  This is our one chance to have it EXACTLY the way WE want it. 

    Turns out my MIL (thank heavens!!) has no interest in being in the delivery room but when I was having these conversations w/ my DH (who thought it was only "fair" that MIL get to be there if my mom was there) I told him the following:

    "OK hon, we're going to play a little game.  We're going to strip you naked and put you in a hospital gown on a bed.  Now let's pretend you've been in pain for hours, and the pain is increasing.  Next, we're going to flip up your gown, spread your legs and let you wave your genitals and ass in the air for awhile, all while you're groaning in pain.  Now, I want my mom to come watch all this.  How do you feel about that?" 

    Discussion over.  

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  • peachmuffinspeachmuffins member
    Luckily my word is law on both side of SO's and I's family. Its only going to be me and SO for the pushing part, but I plan on getting an epidural and if i'm comfortable enough and no lady bits are exposed then my parents and his parents can be in the room during the labor part. Nobody but SO is going to be there when my vag is exposed though. I have no doubt if i say "get out" people will get out asap. If anyone stresses me out, they will get voted off the island and stay that way until a few hours after LO is born. The only person I foresee having a problem with is SO's sister who can be really emotional and pushy but i dont have any issues with hurting her feelings and she's a real witch to her parents so nobody will care if i do.
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