November 2011 Moms

Question from a Nov 2012 bumpie

Hi moms! I feel like you're my big sisters because all that I am experiencing right now, you experienced a year ago!  I've been trying to plan ahead and prepare for having a newborn around during the wintertime, but it's kind of scary!

 My SIL had a baby last October and it really freaked me out how CLOSE people got to him (and even sick people)!  Do people just not have manners anymore?  Or common sense?  I'm due 11-11 with my 1st and was wondering how you ladies handled the cold & flu season / holiday season with a newborn?  Did you still visit family for the holidays, or did you try to stay home for most of it?  I'm thinking about buying a baby wrap carrier so that if I do go out to church or to holiday family gatherings, people will be less tempted to touch/hold the baby.  Would this be a good idea?  Do you have any other thoughts/advice?  Thanks!


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Re: Question from a Nov 2012 bumpie

  • Both of mine are winter babies.  I went out and did everything as normal.  I put a blanket over their carrier when out shopping.  I let family hold them, but asked them not to if they thought they were sick/getting sick and asked that they wash their hands first (people like to touch the baby's face!).
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  • It's a great idea to have a baby wrap in general! It may help keep people away although this isn't what I did... At very first, I stayed at home. We had a small Thanksgiving occasion. I think it's important to set boundaries before the birth even happens. I told everyone what I expected before she was even born. No kisses, no children, wash hands, and if you're sick or even think you're sick, please stay away. If you tell the right people, (Over-protective relatives if you have any) they'll help everyone else abide. Sometimes you just have to stick up for your LO even if it makes you look like the bad guy, but there is no shame in telling everyone else that its too hard to take LO out of the wrap :) 

    Regardless of what you do, people are going to want to hold and touch LO and you shouldn't be overbearing. Also... It's inevitable that LO will get sick eventually, so if it happens, don't beat yourself up.

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  • DD was born 11/21 and we came home from the hospital the night before Thanksgiving. ALL of FI's family was here and she was passed around like a football to everyone including his 6 YO niece. That pretty much sums up how we handled it. We went everywhere, let everyone hold her, and basically never really worried about it AND she is now 6 MO and has only ever had two very minor colds (basically just a stuffy nose for a couple of days easily solved with an aspirator). I think when people worry too much and try to keep too many germs away it just makes things worse.
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  • I might be in the minority here, but looking back, I worried WAY too much about this issue.  So much so that I avoided big gatherings with family and I regret it.  Yes, it's important to keep your baby safe and healthy, but it's also important for you to get out, live life, and let your baby experience too.  I'm not suggesting purposefully exposing baby, just be smart and LIVE!  I think the baby carrier is a good idea.  It is an excuse to not let anyone hold baby while you are out.  And, if anyone feels inclined to touch baby, and you're up for it, have some sanitizer on hand.  Again, it may just be me but I feel that I really allowed myself to get wrapped up in this issue and looking back...I wish I would have relaxed and just enjoyed doing things with DD rather than worried about risks.  There was no way I would have put her in harm's way, but I could have loosened up about this and still have been smart about keeping her safe.

     

    GL!. 

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  • lkm2006lkm2006 member

    My LO was a preemie so this was something I was very worried about but I still got out and went (once he was a month old). I kept him in a blanket and never really had anyone get super close. 

    I did keep him out of the church nursery though.  

     

  • Thanks for the advice!  I definitely will not want to miss family gatherings and since DH will most likely only have a few days off from work after the birth, I think I might be going to visit my SIL and my parents quite often early on!  I'm not the type of person who can stay home all day, every day for more than a few days.  I'm glad that I can have the baby carrier and leave the house!  Thanks again!

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  • I am lucky enough to have full-term, healthy babies and I went about my holiday season as usual.  We went to a Christmas party when DD2 was about 1 1/2 weeks old.  She just slept in her carrier.  I overall believe in moderate exposure (rather than attempting to avoid all germs) so I just used common sense--if your sick stay away and don't touch, but otherwise just went about life.  And despite having a runny-nosed, germy older sister DD2 has been extremely healthy with no more than a stuffy nose!
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  • imagelkm2006:

    My LO was a preemie so this was something I was very worried about but I still got out and went (once he was a month old). I kept him in a blanket and never really had anyone get super close. 

    I did keep him out of the church nursery though.  

    This exactly. LO still does not go in the church nursery. He stays in his infant car seat through the service and usually sleeps through it. If not, we take him in the Baby Cry room where he is not a distraction. We keep Purell handy and wipes because even in the carrier, people tend to try to grab his hands, which inevitably go in his mouth. I still take him in the stroller into stores and keep him covered up, not necessarily for germs but because we usually go out during his nap times.  

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  • adri77adri77 member
    Aw, my last baby was 11/11/11 :)  I also have a Dec and Sept. baby.  This last time around was business as usual, b/c I had two older boys to take care of, I was out and about when she was 5 days old. I spent 5 days at my parents and ILs house for T-giving when she was 2 weeks old!  Christmas was also business as usual.   Plus, I figured with both of them in preschool, they were exposing her to more germs than anyone else ever would.  With my first, who was a DEC baby, I kinda did stay home a lot more b/c I had that luxery.  If I went out, I just kept him in his carrier and covered it with a blanket, and when at other people's homes, if i felt anxious about things, I just went and nursed him somewhere to get away!  We did all of the normal Christmas celebrations and traveling.  Good luck and CONGRATS!!!!
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  • Are you planning to breast feed?

     I ask because from what I've read, your newborn's immune system will be just about as good as your own if you are BFing. I BF DD, and she wasn't sick at all during the winter. She was only 1 week old at Thanksgiving, so we only went out for a few hours to very nearby family, and she wasn't really passed around much. I did bring a bottle of hand sanitizer  ;-)

    We went to families at Christmas and she slept for most of it, so again, no one was really touching her.

    But I would go out in public to places like the mall and Target often just to get us both out of the house, and I took comfort in knowing that since she was BF, she had all my antibodies.

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  • imagembgreenwalt:
    Both of mine are winter babies.  I went out and did everything as normal.  I put a blanket over their carrier when out shopping.  I let family hold them, but asked them not to if they thought they were sick/getting sick and asked that they wash their hands first (people like to touch the baby's face!).

    All of this. Wearing my baby helped too, although people even try to touch him even when he's in the wrap AND sleeping. Boundaries seem to disappear when it comes to babies. Even with complete and total strangers.

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  • imageacousticchick18:

    Hi moms! I feel like you're my big sisters because all that I am experiencing right now, you experienced a year ago!  I've been trying to plan ahead and prepare for having a newborn around during the wintertime, but it's kind of scary!

     My SIL had a baby last October and it really freaked me out how CLOSE people got to him (and even sick people)!  Do people just not have manners anymore?  Or common sense?  I'm due 11-11 with my 1st and was wondering how you ladies handled the cold & flu season / holiday season with a newborn?  Did you still visit family for the holidays, or did you try to stay home for most of it?  I'm thinking about buying a baby wrap carrier so that if I do go out to church or to holiday family gatherings, people will be less tempted to touch/hold the baby.  Would this be a good idea?  Do you have any other thoughts/advice?  Thanks!

    This is a fabulous idea for two reasons. 1. most people(there a few exceptions) will not get too close so as not to invade your space.  2. you can drape a blanket over your shoulder and say baby is feeding even when your LO is not!

    As for cold/flu season don't worry too much if drape the carrier with a blanket. My son was born Nov 2 and got his first cold last week. In fact most of my LOs (I have 5) were born in the fall so I just draped the carrier or wore them!

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  • jb2rnjb2rn member

    I think a wrap is a good idea. When ds was a week old, we went to a local Christmas festival and wore him in the Moby wrap. I prefered this over a stroller, he could stay warm by my body heat, and no one could touch.

    We live in Germany and our families are in the states, so we didn't have a ton of visitors - just my Mom when ds was a week old, and dh's parents when he was 4 weeks. Everyone just washed their hands. Had they been sick I would have not allowed them to touch/hold him.

    Just use common sense - no passing the baby around at a holiday dinner. At church, I would keep baby in the car sear or wear them, depending upon what your child is happiest in.

     

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  • I live in Florida and it never really got cold here this winter (boo for all the winter baby clothes I didnt get to use). But people are going to be sick year-round. Most of my friends and family members were considerate enough to know not to get around LO if they werent feeling well. As for strangers, I honestly did not take her out very often because it was too much trouble to get ready and do all that by myself. Of course you will come into contact with people at some point and you can't always control where you are. I had to take my DD to a nasty lab for a heel stick at 4 and 5 days old. I stayed in the car until it was her turn because I didnt want to be around all the sick people.

    But it is totally fine to ask people to wash their hands. They dont get offended - it's a newborn! I also carry hand sanitizer with me 24/7. Like PPs said, a wrap is awesome. I kept my MIL away at Christmas by wearing DD in one the whole time. :-)

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  • imagesap05e:

    I live in Florida and it never really got cold here this winter (boo for all the winter baby clothes I didnt get to use). But people are going to be sick year-round. Most of my friends and family members were considerate enough to know not to get around LO if they werent feeling well. As for strangers, I honestly did not take her out very often because it was too much trouble to get ready and do all that by myself. Of course you will come into contact with people at some point and you can't always control where you are. I had to take my DD to a nasty lab for a heel stick at 4 and 5 days old. I stayed in the car until it was her turn because I didnt want to be around all the sick people.

    But it is totally fine to ask people to wash their hands. They dont get offended - it's a newborn! I also carry hand sanitizer with me 24/7.  :-)

    This!! 

    I also live in FL and my pedi suggested that I didn't take her to the mall, restaurantes, etc until the first round of vaccines...but we had family gatherings and lots of visitors...everyone washed their hands and I had a bottle of sanitizer around...and sick people usually avoid visiting the baby anyway...

     

     

  • I went out for the first time with DD at around 12 days or so. I was semi-paranoid, but I knew that my family and friends that were going to see her would be smart enough to not touch her if they were sick or feel like they were getting sick. We didn't cancel any Thanksgiving plans, but we weren't around a whole heck of a lot of people either. Six of us on IL's side, and just me, DH and my parents for my side. On Christmas, we also didn't cancel plans, and there were about 12 of us there on my side. Just use your mommy instinct. Your SO will back you up and not make you the bad guy by yourself. ;-)

    If you feel like you'd be more comfortable with a carrier, then go for it.

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  • I kept my LO at home pretty much the duration of my maternity leave but only because I kind of enjoyed having the "excuse" of a baby for not having to be out and about.  I was a homebody during mat leave...it was great.  FWIW my pedi suggested staying away from huge crowds like church when she was a newborn, but that if we did need to go out and about to put a blanket over the carrier and tell people she was sleeping.  Since both DH and I took maternity/paternity leave there wasn't much of a need to get her out of the house and it was easier for us not to.  I did start taking her out around 2 months just because that was when I went back to work and real life had to resume (bummer).  We hosted Christmas at our house though and the whole family came over.  A bottle of hand sanitizer on the coffee table gets the message across pretty well.  

     One of my friends recently had twins and she got these precious signs at her baby shower...they wrap around the handle of the car seat and say "please wash your hands before touching mine."  I think that's genius! :)

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  • Hayden was born on 11/11/11.  We told our families in June that we were NOT doing Thanksgiving.  Too many people at either of our families' gatherings and he was so young still.  We just stayed home for once and enjoyed not having to run around all day.

    We kept a bottle of hand sanitizer in the car next to his carseat base, that way anywhere we went, we grabbed it and took it in with us.  If you wanted to hold the newborn, you sanitized your hands.  We didn't take him out often and he still ended up with a cold in December and had it until mid-January.

    A wrap does help.  I didn't get mine until March and I'm kicking myself now for not having one over the holidays.  It would have helped because people see how comfortable the baby is and don't want to disturb him.

    Something I wish I had done was tell people no when they wanted to hold him if he was sleeping.  We were at my in-laws one night and my step-BIL and his wife kept holding him when he'd fall asleep and kept waking him up and saying "We want an awake baby, he can sleep when he gets home with you."  He slept horribly that night and I about had a nervous breakdown being up with him all night.  I almost called them to tell them to come over at 4 a.m. and see the awake baby.

    It was nice to be off for the holidays and colder time with my baby but if I have anymore I'd like to time it at a different time when we're not having to go to large gatherings so much.

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  • imageHBear19:

    Are you planning to breast feed?

     I ask because from what I've read, your newborn's immune system will be just about as good as your own if you are BFing. I BF DD, and she wasn't sick at all during the winter. She was only 1 week old at Thanksgiving, so we only went out for a few hours to very nearby family, and she wasn't really passed around much. I did bring a bottle of hand sanitizer  ;-)

    We went to families at Christmas and she slept for most of it, so again, no one was really touching her.

    But I would go out in public to places like the mall and Target often just to get us both out of the house, and I took comfort in knowing that since she was BF, she had all my antibodies.

    Just because a baby is BF doesn't mean they won't get sick.  I've BF and LO still had a cold that lasted over 4 weeks from December to January.

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  • Well, I'm like many of the PPs in that we went out and did everythign as normal. DD's first outing was to the mall at 5 days old.  :)  Only one minor cold so far.  Don't overthink it and try to have fun with family instead of getting super stressed out (far easier said than done imo!).   

    imagejb2rn:

    We live in Germany and our families are in the states, 

    I was living in Spain when DD was born, but my DH and I just recently moved to Frankfurt area.  Where in Germany are you?  I don't know anyone here yet and am hoping to make some mommy friends.   

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  • imagejaminjeff:
    imageHBear19:

    Are you planning to breast feed?

     I ask because from what I've read, your newborn's immune system will be just about as good as your own if you are BFing. I BF DD, and she wasn't sick at all during the winter. She was only 1 week old at Thanksgiving, so we only went out for a few hours to very nearby family, and she wasn't really passed around much. I did bring a bottle of hand sanitizer  ;-)

    We went to families at Christmas and she slept for most of it, so again, no one was really touching her.

    But I would go out in public to places like the mall and Target often just to get us both out of the house, and I took comfort in knowing that since she was BF, she had all my antibodies.

    Just because a baby is BF doesn't mean they won't get sick.  I've BF and LO still had a cold that lasted over 4 weeks from December to January.

    Obviously I'm not saying DD won't get sick- in fact she got a cold the first week she went to daycare. But BF definitely boosts their immune systems so taking them out at 1, 2, or 3 weeks old is not taboo like it was way back when. No reason to stay in your house all winter to avoid germs.

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  • My son was born 11/10 and we went shopping the day we came home from the hospital (I had a c-section and had to pick up meds and other items I hadn't planned on needing).  I didn't change anything about the way we lived our lives.  My son went grocery shopping with me at least once a week, attended 3 family Thanksgiving gatherings, Christmas Eve, etc.  He has had one minor (and I mean minor!) cold and is 6 months old.  We live in Indiana and it is cold here in the winter.  I dressed him warm for the weather, invested in a carseat carrier cover, and tried to be prepared for the unexpected. 

     Do what you feel is best for YOUR child.  That is what I did.  I know people who kept their babies home and out of the public and away from any gatherings for months after the baby was born because that was what they felt was best for them and their child.  Trust your instincts.  Don't be afraid to tell people NO or ask them to wash their hands, etc.  Best wishes on your pregnancy!

  • I agree- trust your instincts and don't let guilt from others make you bring your baby out more than you want.  Plus, with all of the feedings/sleeping/sleep deprivation of mom and dad, we were not eager to be out that much as it was.  Our pediatrician also warned us to be careful going out too much unless needed because there was a lot flu stuff going around in our area and they are susceptible- I was a nervous nellie about bringing LO out and I slowly started doing it in small increments. I was one of those people who kept LO out of people the first two months, with a few exceptions.  Don't be afraid to ask people to wash their hands or not hold/touch baby (a small fib even- the baby is trying to sleep, is feeling cranky, etc, may help people tempted to touch).  When they are that little (plus my LO was a month early) getting sick would be no fun.  Maybe I'm the minority, but I've never had a total stranger try to touch LO (or my belly either when I was preggo)- I'm really laid back but that would not be ok with me. 
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