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Preschool Graduation -WWYD (kinda long sorry)

salesmomsalesmom member
in Pre-School and Daycare

My DD is graduating prechool and going to kindergarten next year. Her preschool makes a huge to - do about graduating and has a ceremony with a cap and gown, etc.   Her teacher mentioned to me the other day that DD will have NOTHING to do with practicing for the ceremony (they are doing a little song, etc) and when it comes time to practice, DD breaks down and pouts.   DD said she is shy and scared.   I understand about performing the song as she said thesame thing at mothers day and I didn't press it - that part doesn't bother me.

 The issue?  She completely shuts down when even mentioning graduation.  Even going to the ceremony at all!   I am making her go and get her diploma as I don't think she should get out of it completely but I told her she didn't have to do the performance as I know some just aren't all into that.   I even offered for me or DH to walk with her to get her diploma.  She is the ONLY kid in class that is making an issue of it.  Teacher has tried several ways to get her to participate but she just goes to the corner and pouts.

She is super excited about kindergarten but she did mention she will miss her preschool so I think its hitting her that she is leaving.  I did tell her that all her preschool friends would be at the ceremony and she would still be at the preschool for the summer before kindergarten but she isn't having it.

Any advise?

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Re: Preschool Graduation -WWYD (kinda long sorry)

  • neverblushedneverblushed member

    Lurker from school aged kids here.  I've been to plenty of preschool programs in my day, and it's not that unusual to have one member of the class who doesn't like to do public performances... or even one who does fine during practice and then suddenly won't participate on the big day.  Sometimes a child who was nervous during the practice sessions has a last-minute change of heart and agrees to participate in the real program!

    I think she should go to the graduation.  The teacher should offer her the chance to participate in everything, but give her the right to back out gracefully and not make a big deal out of it.  If she just wants to sit with you guys in the audience, she should be allowed to.  She should be able to participate in whatever way makes her comfortable.

    Don't worry that she's the "only" kid making a big deal out of it.  Transitions are hard for kids this age, and each kid reacts as an individual.   Try to keep in mind that it's a celebration of a milestone, and not an evaluation or a command performance.

    My son adored his preschool teachers, and the last day of preschool was very emotional for him... and for me!  He was 100% ready for K, but that didn't make saying "goodbye" to preschool any easier!

    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
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  • outnumberedoutnumbered member

    Preschool graduation is not a big deal.  Sure it is cute, but it is causing your daughter distress.  The teacher needs to back off and you should probably stop talking about it.  My kids' preschool kept graduation very low key because too many children were getting emotional about it.  Do not even make her walk to get her diploma if she is upset.  It will make a happy occasion sad.

     

    Smiley: April '05 Rocky: May '06 Tex: July '09
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  • roxy_jjroxy_jj member

    I would still have her go to the graduation.  Who knows, maybe she'll have a change of heart when she's at the graduation.  And even if she doesn't change her mind about participating, it isn't a big deal.  It's only preschool.  Those types of events make some children very nervous. 

    My daughter loves practicing and preparing for shows, but when she gets on stage she gets scared and basically stands on the stage and doesn't participate.  For the Mother's Day performance, she talked on and on about how excited she was.  When it came time for the performance, she just stood on the stage looking terrified.  Her graduation is coming up and she has been talking so much about practicing for the performance.  We'll see what happens at the actual graduation. 

    Ms. A  - 2007, Mr. C - 2009
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  • jlw2505jlw2505 member
    I would not push this but I would go to the event and if she goes up with her class and if not, she doesn't.  I just don't think this is a big deal.  She may, on the day of the event, feel the excitment from her friends and want to be part of it and if not, you went, you will get her diploma either way and you will hopefully get some cute pics of her in her gown.  This is a scary time for kids and if she has been here for a long time, this may also be her 1st big change in school and friends.  My 4 year old is getting very clingy to me as she is getting ready to move from the Preschool 2 room which she has been in since she turned 3 (and she turned 4 this past March).  She knows that she will only be in the Preschool 3 (4 year olds) room for a short time as she is starting the PreK program at the elementary school in the fall.  1 of her friends from daycare/preschool is going with her and she has been talking about only playing with him and none of the other kids that she will meet in the fall.  She has regressed a little with the potty and has had more accidents which is her way of thinking they won't move her to next classroom.  Kids deal with change in so many different ways.  Again, in your situation, I would not push it but I would also not skip the event.
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
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  • salesmomsalesmom member

    Thank you all for the advice!  I think I will do just that - I'll quit making a deal of it but still go to the graduation...i'll  feel her out that day and if she doesn't want to walk or perform, I won't make her.

     Thank you again!

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