Adoption reading lists
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Did any of you have a list of books your agency required or recommended you to read? We have a list of about 14 books that the agency recommends (some of my paperwork alludes to the "required books" but the list doesn't state which are required and which are recommended).
My main problem with this list is the fact that a lot of the titles are OLD. The first one I read (just finished it last night) was published in 1978. While it did give me a lot to think about, the basic premise of the book was the effect of the sealed record on the different members of the adoption triangle, so a lot of the statements in the book about adoption in general stem back to when most (or all) adoptions were closed. It did a good job giving me a history/framework for adoption, however.
What is the best adoption-related book you read?
Re: Adoption reading lists
We were required to read Dear Birthmother and Adopting after Infertility. Dear Birthmother was a great book - you should get that one. We had everyone in our family read it, too!!! Adopting after IF was okay - It was good for us to read and if I'm remembering right it was a little more 'clinical.'
We also bought multiple copies of Adoption is a Family Affair and passed it around our family!
This is a list that I had on my blog back before we started the process, and yes, I read all of these plus LOTS more...I was very into reading everything I could get my hands on! (The comments after the titles are what I wrote back when I wrote the post on my blog. I read a lot of international adoption books in addition to domestic adoption.)
From China with Love: A Long Road to Motherhood by Emily Buchanan -- Buchanan writes about her own struggles with infertility and how she chooses adoption. She eventually adopts two little girls from China. This was a really good book.
Secret Thoughts of An Adoptive Mother by Jana Wolff -- Wolff addresses issues like "Will my child ever feel like mine?" and "Will she want him back?" I thought it was a good book.
A Love Like No Other: Stories from Adoptive Parents Edited by Pamela Kruger and Jill Smolowe -- I really liked this book. Each chapter is from a different parent's point of view. It's all about different adoption situations.
China Ghosts: My Daughter's Journey to America, My Passage to Fatherhood by Jeff Gammage -- This book is told from the adoptive father's point of view. He adopted his daughter from China. The story is about the process before and after the adoption and how he has tried to learn more about his daughter's background. Great book.
The Mistress's Daughter: A Memoir by A.M. Homes -- I just read this over the past few days. It's told from Homes' point of view. She was adopted as an infant. When she is about 30 years old, her birthmother asks to speak with her and meet her. The story is about what happens after that. It's not a very uplifting story at all, but I thought it was interesting.
Trail of Crumbs: Hunger, Love, and the Search for Home by Kim Sunee (A Memoir) I read this book recently, too. I really liked it. Sunee was born in Korea and was adopted a three year old. Her adoptive parents brought her back to New Orleans. Eventually as an adult, Sunee moves to France. The story is about how she tries to find her place in the world and it incorporates her love of cooking and food in the process.
Two Little Girls: A Memoir of Adoption by Theresa Reid --A woman and her husband journey to Moscow and Kiev to adopt their daughters.
Related by Adoption: A Handbook for Grandparents and Other Relatives
Adoption is a Family Affair!: What Relatives and Friends Must Know
After 5.5 years of loss, heartbreak, and empty arms, our dreams were fulfilled through the beautiful, selfless gift of adoption. We are amazingly blessed!
Blog About Us | Blog About RPL/IF/Adoption
The one by Lois Melina? I'm also reading that book now, but I have the original 1986 edition, lol. Like I said, the list is kind of outdated (although there are a few books from the early 2000s on the list as well). I'd be glad to share it here if you (or anyone else) are interested!
It is the one by Lois Melina but it's the updated edition (1998) so it's slightly less out-of-date than the original! I found a gently used copy on amazon for about $3. I would love to see the rest of the list if you don't mind posting it!
Here it is! (sorry if the formatting goes weird, I c&pd from Word)
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Brodzinsky, D., Schechter, M. D., & Henig, R. M. (1992). Being adopted: The lifelong search for self.Sorosky, A. D., Baran, A., & Pannor, R. (1978). The adoption triangle: The effects of the sealed record on adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents.
Silber, K., & Speedlin, P. (1983). Dear Birthmother: Thank you for our baby.
Silber, K., & Dorner, P. M. (1990). Children of open adoption and their families.
Severson, R. W. (1990). A letter to adoptive parents on open adoption.
Melina, L. R. (1986). Raising adopted children: A manual for adoptive parents
Melina, L. R., & Roszia, S. K. (1993). The open adoption experience: A complete guide for adoptive and birth families--from making the decision through the child's growing years.
Johnston, P. I. (1992). Adopting after infertility.
Gilman, L. (1984). The adoption resource book.
Gritter, J. L., & Child Welfare League of America. (2000). Lifegivers: Framing the birthparent experience in open adoption
Gritter, J. L. (1997). The spirit of open adoption.
Gritter, J. L. (1989). Adoption without fear.
Duxbury, M. (2007). Making room in our hearts: Keeping family ties through open adoption.
Dischler, P. A. (2006). Because I loved you: A birthmother's view of open adoption.
I think part of the problem with the list is they haven't checked to see if there are new/revised versions of some of the older books.
We weren't required to read anything. The ones I picked up were:
Adopting After Infertility. Pretty outdated, but some of the upfront info is still good stuff to think about when deciding on a path to parenthood, or not
A Love Like No Other. Essays from adoptive parents of all types. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I really, really liked it.
Secrets of an Adoptive Mother. Written by a mom in a transracial adoption. Again, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Really liked it.
20 Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew. Didn't like. The author seems to have a bias about all adopted kids being severely wounded by being adopted, since she was. And I don't think you can draw generalizations like that among all adoptees. Plus I'd just been to a webinar she had and she was awful.
The Open Adoption Book by Bruce Rappaport. Had a lot of good things to think about in the wonderful world of open adoption
HTH