IUI # 1 is done ... and my RE has no bedside manner

amh612 · May 2012

So IUI # 1 was this morning, and I am cautiously optimistic. I had 2 follies yesterday, one on the left at 19 mm and one on the right at 21 mm, with a third on the right that was too small. DH had 50 million post-wash sperm with 84% motility, so that makes me feel a bit better. The procedure itself was not nearly as uncomfortable as I thought it would be, apparently my cervix was in a cooperative mood today Smile

So while it was going on I ask my RE if he thinks I responded well to the Clomid, if DH's numbers increase our chances, etc. and all he says is "Remember, its only a 10% chance with Clomid. You really need to come up with a timeline as to how long you want to drag this process out before looking at next steps or IVF." UGH! It's not like I didn't know this already, but I was just annoyed at the way he said it. He's both an MD and a PhD, so he's very numbers driven and encourages doing what will give you the best odds so he favors more aggressive treatment plans. He kind of rained on my "I'm trying to be optimistic" parade Huh?

amh612 · May 2012

Ok, so apprently my computer stinks and posted this same thing 3 times. I am going to delete the other duplicate posts ... not trying to DD I promise, just want to keep it all in one thread.

ETA: I can't seem to delete the dupes. So sorry! My PC is evil.

notquiteblushing · May 2012

I'm sorry he said that to you. What a jerk. Don't let it upset you. Good luck in your two week window!

diamante1181 · May 2012

Wow, I think I would be upset. It almost gives the impression that he thinks it won't work at all. As I always say, you only need ONE good sperm with a sense of direction! Don't let it get you down, I think based on what you said your chances must be good. Doctors don't know everything.

amd1982 · May 2012

First off, great numbers! You should stay optimistic, everything sounds like it went very well. My suggestion would be to keep a good balance between optimism and realism, which I'm sure you already know.

For me, IUI#1 was great - two mature follicles, excellent SA numbers, and lining measured a little over 7mm. I was heartbroken when it didn't work out. And again, I don't mean this to rain on your parade at all. My RE described it the best "just because all the stars align, and things work out perfectly, just keep in mind you only have a 20% chance each cycle." I hated that she said that at first, but now I understand. Unfortunately for us PCOS'rs, the odds are stacked against us. So while I definitely don't agree with your doc's delivery, I'm sure he just wants you to be aware of the stats. But I know it's still hard to hear when you're so happy that you made it to this point.

I am wishing you the best and hope this is it for you!!

kimmyb1020 · May 2012

Well he can suck it! Positive thinking is always the way to go!

Those numbers for both you and DH sound great! I would have loved to have that post-wash count! I'm offended that he said that after IUI #1, if it was IUI #5 I would have understood more, but now's the time to be optimistic! We all have terrible odds, but we do it anyways because you never know!

mrskitton · May 2012

What a jacka$$!!! I agree with PP.....doctors don't know everything! GL to you!!

janabananac · May 2012

I really don't like my RE's bedside manner either but I love the Physician's Assistant he works with (she did the second IUI while he did the first) and all the office staff and I respect his medical expertise even if I don't like him as a person. If you want to stick with yours because of his reputation, experience, etc then just go in there and use him for all of his expertise and forget anything "personal" he says. Good luck to you!

Durham1008 · May 2012

That's a horrible thing to say. I think your numbers sound great. Good luck! I hope you prove him wrong.

amh612 · May 2012

amd1982:

First off, great numbers! You should stay optimistic, everything sounds like it went very well. My suggestion would be to keep a good balance between optimism and realism, which I'm sure you already know.

For me, IUI#1 was great - two mature follicles, excellent SA numbers, and lining measured a little over 7mm. I was heartbroken when it didn't work out. And again, I don't mean this to rain on your parade at all. My RE described it the best "just because all the stars align, and things work out perfectly, just keep in mind you only have a 20% chance each cycle." I hated that she said that at first, but now I understand. Unfortunately for us PCOS'rs, the odds are stacked against us. So while I definitely don't agree with your doc's delivery, I'm sure he just wants you to be aware of the stats. But I know it's still hard to hear when you're so happy that you made it to this point.

I am wishing you the best and hope this is it for you!!

Thanks! I totally agree on finding the right balance of optimism and realism - it's just hard to find a happy middle space between "this is definitely going to work!" and "there is no way we can be that lucky with only a 10% chance so why bother?." Especially since we have such minimal IF coverage. I think that's partially why my RE favors an aggressive approach.

amh612 · May 2012

janabananac:
I really don't like my RE's bedside manner either but I love the Physician's Assistant he works with (she did the second IUI while he did the first) and all the office staff and I respect his medical expertise even if I don't like him as a person. If you want to stick with yours because of his reputation, experience, etc then just go in there and use him for all of his expertise and forget anything "personal" he says. Good luck to you!

In my RE's office there are 3 of them - one is your "assigned" RE who you get to do your sit-downs with and when you go in for monitoring (an RE does the u/s) IUI, HSG, etc, you get whoever is scheduled to be there that day. The other 2 RE's are super nice (and the nurses are great!) and I would love to switch but I could end up seeing my current RE at every appointment anyway. Today we just got "lucky" that my assigned RE did the IUI so I tried to ask him as much as I could because we don't get a sit down at each cycle, only when we change treatment plans.

amh612 · May 2012

Thank you ladies for making me feel better today. I can't begin to express how much your kind words mean to me.

Drinks Cheers to all of you!

melgeorge7189 · May 2012

I'm sorry your RE was an assshat. Your numbers sound excellent! GL to you!

LtlAngL · May 2012

janabananac:
I really don't like my RE's bedside manner either but I love the Physician's Assistant he works with (she did the second IUI while he did the first) and all the office staff and I respect his medical expertise even if I don't like him as a person. If you want to stick with yours because of his reputation, experience, etc then just go in there and use him for all of his expertise and forget anything "personal" he says. Good luck to you!

I work as a Physician Assistant and must tell you that I frequently "clean up" the things my bosses say to people that sound insensitive. Keep in mind...you don't need the doctor to be sweet, just to be brilliant and do a good job.

No matter what your doctor says, we'll still be here to give lots of compliments! Sounds like your DH's numbers were great! Good luck and FX for good news in 2 weeks!

kristykay123 · May 2012

That comment would have seriously pi$$ed me off. I'm sorry

. FX for you though!

maggie2324 · May 2012

10% is not bad. Remember a fertile couple has a 20% chance each month, so even just being half of what a fertile couple has is still good. IVF may have better odds, but it costs at least 10x as much... And the odds aren't 10x better.

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IUI # 1 is done ... and my RE has no bedside manner

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