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Ginlyn0
member
Vent- Nephew being a big baby about his ankle
Ginlyn0
member
Yesterday afternoon, my nephew decided he wanted to do p90x w/ DH and about 30 minutes in to it he twisted his ankle. We had him elevate it and we iced it and gave him some aleve. DH had done the same thing about a year ago while working out. This morning, DH wrapped it up and showed him how to walk on his heel and not put too much weight on it but told him to make sure he uses it to help loosen it up. We don't want him to miss too much school right now because he has 12 days left and is borderline passing one class (has A's and B's in the others) and he needs to pass everything to graduate. He had already asked to skip on Senior Skip day this Friday and we are taking him to his dad's for the weekend Thursday night. We are leaving to go out of state on Friday as soon as DD gets out of school and we get her dropped off to her dad's. I feel bad for him because Prom is Saturday, but what can you do? So DH drove him to school today (he usually walks- it's right down the street from our house). Already, he called DH from the nurses office. He went to the nurse to try to get them to give him crutches and of course they didn't have any to give him so they had him call DH.
DH told him to suck it up and of course the nurse didn't have crutches to give him. Why are boys/men such big babies? All I can think about is the time that DD sprained her ankle at age 5. She was having a meltdown (this is before we knew her Asperger's diagnosis) about bedtime and started kicking the wall repeatedly. Eventually I got her calmed down and she went to sleep. The next morning she woke up and her ankle was swollen and black and blue. I took her to the pedi and they actually thought it was broke. We went and got an xray and it was not. They didn't do anything but wrap it. It hurt but she still walked on it without crutches until it healed which is what they suggested.
He is acting like he is disabled and we should come get him from school. I am half wondering if he wil check himself out of school and go home. I think if he does, I will make him go on senior skip day instead of going to his dad's Thursday, he will go on Friday. So frustrating.
.
DD(14),SD(13),SS(11),SS(9),DS(3)
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Re: Vent- Nephew being a big baby about his ankle
No, he hasn't seen anyone and at this point he will not. He is 19, does not have a job, does not have insurance. We aren't going to pay out of pocket to take him at this point. It just happened yesterday. If he isn't better in the alloted 3-4 days that sprains/twisted ankles usually heal in then we will most likely take him in. I prefer to not rack up a bunch of medical bills in his name that would put us in a bind over what is most likely a simple twisted ankle. It's going to hurt for a few days. I'm not saying it's not, but he needs to be at school which means he has to suck it up.
We don't pay for that so I wasn't thinking it would cost anything to go to the doctor. I agree that he needs to deal with it, it just didn't sound very sympathetic. I am someone who does not take pain well so I can also understand not dealing with a sprain very well. I assume there are other issues which make his actions now less bearable which I think would make sense.
EDIT Hopefully he mends quickly for everyone concerned.
I got you. He had insurance under DH until January but we lost it when DH lost his old job. We were able to put the other kids on state insurance but since he's 19 he didn't qualify. DH's new job doesn't offer insurance and mine has a 5,000 deduct just for me (it would be 10,000 if I added the family- which is pointless) and my company doesn't offer any other choices. If we still had insurance on him, we would have ran him up to an urgent care clinic last night, but alas we don't. So we are in wait and see mode.
I do think it sucks for him because with Prom on Saturday I'm sure he is going to be miserable if it hasn't gotten better by then and I feel really sorry for his date. And yes, it is hard being a parental figure to a 19 year old that you shouldn't have to be one for and there are a ton of underlying issues. However, our main focus is graduation which is the main reason he is living with us. So I that's why he has to suck it up and be at school we (DH, him and myself) did not work this hard for the last year and a half to get him to graduate for him to fail last minute especially over this.
::semi-lurker in::
This really rubs me the wrong way. Don't you think maybe he is actually hurt? I would never dismiss an injury like that. If he is in enough pain to go to the nurse and ask for crutches, I would definitely get him checked out. How do you know it's just a twist and not something more serious? If he has actually broken a bone or something, forcing him to go to school and "suck it up" and walk around can exacerbate the injury!
DH was there when he did it. He literally twisted his ankle when he stepped down during a move. It's not like he injured it somewhere else and no one saw and we are assuming things. Also, are you going to pay his bill???? If so then you can definitely take him in..... I am not even his parent, you realize that right? He has parents, he could call them at any point and ask them to take him if he is really hurt since we aren't taking him at this point. His dad doesn't work and is at his apartment right now. His mom who never even sees him works nights so she would be at home as well right now.. DH and I are at work. He never asked to go to the doctor in the first place. He is an adult if he wanted to go to a doctor or hospital he could find a ride and go. We can't authorize medical treatment anyway. However if we take him in, we would feel responsible for his bill since we pay for EVERYTHING for him....and right now we can't afford excess bills that may not be necessary and we aren't going to make him go. He called because he didn't want to be at school, not because he wanted to go to the doctor.
Seriously, you are critizing someone who took in an 18 year old over a year and a half ago and has done everything for them during that time because we aren't taking off work and carting him to the doctor over a twisted ankle that hasn't even had time to heal yet.
Better watch out or CPS might come knocking LOL
Ok it's not really funny but you know where I'm coming from if you read my post about CPS coming the day we brought our baby home because SS fell down and hit his back
LOL..CPS can't come knocking. He's an adult...that is what is so funny about some of these outlandish comments.
We just told him he needed to stay at school versus going home. He can leave school without our permission as well as we have no legal authority over him at all. So if he wanted/ needed to go to the doctor because of the pain he could. We aren't preventing him from getting any treatment. We can't even authorize treatment.
I missed that he is an adult - I think it makes sense for him to get himself checked out on his dime and rack up whatever debt he needs to rack up to do that - no, you shouldn't have to cover his bill. And your response to me is perfectly fair, as far as him not being your son and you not being responsible for his bills.
The only part that rubbed me the wrong way was calling him a baby for complaining of pain and assuming that he didn't actually have an injury; I can think of half a dozen times where people I know have gotten pretty serious injuries that didn't seem like much based on the actual incident. That's all I'm saying: that he could be injured and it just seems like you've totally discounted that possibility.
Speaking as a parent of a little girl who is totally clumsy and "hurts" herself all the time: he needs to suck it up a bit. My 8 year old is constantly falling and twisting something. Most of the time she doesn't even tell me she's hurt, until later when I notice her foot or something is swollen or bruised. Heck, she slammed her pinky in the car door and didn't say a word. Later that night her pinky swelled up so bad she couldn't bend it and I rushed her to the ER thinking she broke it. It was just severely sprained and bruised, but even the Dr was like "Why isn't she crying or anything?". Then she insisted on going to cheer camp the next day. All you can do for a sprain is ice it.
Truth is, he's 19. He's old enough to speak up if he thinks it needs medical attention and to be blunt: he's old enough to pay for medical treatment if he thinks he needs it. If he thinks it's more serious, then as you said he can find a ride to a Dr and have it checked.
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Auntie- his parents don't have insurance. He had insurance on DH's policy until DH lost his job in December. The other kids are on state insurance now but he's too old for the state insurance for kids, it ends at 18. My DD is covered by her BD. I have insurance but my company only offers a plan with a 10,000 deductible and outrageous premiums for a family plan so I am the only one on it and my deductible as a single employee is 5,000.(Did I mention I work for a health insurance company - when I first started I had great insurance but over the 12 years I have worked there, it has only gotten worse.)
Maybe to compare to DD is not fair, but sometimes I get frustrated that his parents are so uninvolved. At 32, I should not be raising a nearly 20 year old (his birthday is around the corner). My brother is the one that decided to have a kid in high school. That is why it was a vent. It's not so much about him being hurt as that I shouldn't have to be dealing with this and right now I can't afford to deal with . We are struggling with DH's new way lower income, CS that is really high that is taking months to adjust to DH's new income. His parents sit on their butts and keep having more kids and rack up the govt assistance yet won't take care of their oldest. Of course when we took him in DH and I didn't not have any financial woes. When I was in high school, my brother left him with my parents for an extended period of time and my mom refused to get up to drive me to band practice my freshman year until I had my nephew up, dressed and fed. I might has well have had the kid myself when I was 12...
I knew it would be difficult when he moved in but DH's job situation made things worse. I wouldn't have worried about medical charge at all a year ago because we had great insurance under DH's plan.
To update, he is fine. I should have updated that evening. By that evening, he was walking all around with no problems. He admitted he was overreacting in an attempt for attention at school. He wanted to be on crutches to get attention. He hasn't asked us or indicted to us that he wants or needs to go to the doctor.