Boarding or spending the nights at home, wwyd?
I know that I am very lucky to be able to stay around the clock in a hospital room with Davis. But with my other two children at home, who are missing me very much, and the stress that comes with knowing my house and their routine is in a shambles I'm thinking I should spend nights at home now. Not to mention my business which is a huge stress while I'm not working.
Davis is still not eating consistently on his own. He has yet to do a full bottle-feed without finishing up NG. He usually takes between 10 and 20 ccs of a 42 cc feed. One nurse was able to get him to take 35 ccs but I haven't been able to get anywhere close to that. I feel like when I feed him he gets so comfy he immediately drops off to sleep. The plan for his feedings changes daily and I am sooo frustrated. We've completely given up nursing at the breast, although I think if he's showing cues between meals I might offer it to him. I'm pumping a ton of milk right now - 3 to 5 oz every time, eight times a day. The good neonatalogist returns tomorrow and I hope the plan and Davis improves this week.
Anyway, that was a roundabout way of asking: if you could board round the clock would you still spend nights at home, especially if you had other children?
Re: Boarding or spending the nights at home, wwyd?
We had a similar situation - DD2 in the NICU, DD1 at home. The best thing for our family was for me to spend days at the hospital and evenings/nights at home. Since we used bottles to get home faster, I didn't need to be present for feedings. When I was there, if DD was awake and cueing, we'd breastfeed, then usually need to finish with the ng tube (while I held her), then I'd pump. All of this meant that I didn't get much rest in the NICU and really benefitted from spending time at home even though I had the option to stay overnight with DD.
Good luck deciding, and I hope your NICU stay is brief!
I would not stay every night. I know how hard it is to leave, I cried every single night I left DD in the hospital went home. But it was the right thing to do and I don't have older kids.
Your children at home need you to be there too. And honestly, you need some time away from the hospital for your own mental health. Line up some primary nurses who you trust to be on your LO's team at night and go home to see your older kids. It will make you a better mom to all three. Call and check in all the time to help with your worries but it sounds like your son is doing well which should give you some confidence.
On the eating--give him time. It can be really frustrating but eventually he will catch on. Try different feeding positions (ask the nurses to show you, sit with you, etc) to see what he likes best. If you want to BF, keep trying and get LC support when you can. It sounds like you are doing awesome pumping-congrats!
Our precious girl, born at 27 weeks.
I could have stayed the night in C's room but I never did and I don't have children at home. I didn't really think much of it honestly.
Thank you. I'm sure I'm not the first or last mom of a preemie to be a basketcase everyday! There was another mom who came into my room today to share the other side. She is also going home at night (her baby is only a few days old) and she left at 4 without a glance, meanwhile I had tears streaming down my face and felt really pitiful in front of all the nurses. I wish I could be stronger but I'm trying. I know his eating will come and I truly count my blessings that is his only hurdle. But it seems as if we have made no improvements in two weeks. Today two PTs came to look at him and they felt he was struggling to breathe while eating, which was confirmed by the O2 monitor. So that is a new setback we didn't know about before.
When I came home tonight, my other little ones were so excited I knew I made the right choice. I'll be back at the hospital in the morning, I just wish I could be two places at once!
Thanks again for the encouraging words - it gives me hope to know of other babies that went home and never looked back!
I, too, could have stayed overnight with DD but chose not to. My mom encouraged me to come home and recover physically and mentally and try to get some sleep in an actual bed.
For me, she was right. It helped me to leave for a few hours.
And since you have other children to take care of, I absolutely would not feel guilty to spend the nights at home. You know your LO is given the best care possible in your absence.
And don't give up on nursing! DD really didn't get the hang of it until her due date and she came home at 35w. She had some random good feeds at the breast in the hospital and then wouldn't do it again. We kept with it and a few weeks later she got it! And then a few weeks after that she started rejecting bottles altogether and has been on the boob ever since. :-p
BFP(4) DD2 born 2.14.13 @ 35w5d due to pPROM