- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Natural Birth
What is the popularity of a doula-free natural birth?
I have been reading a lot about doulas. When I first found out I was pregnant, my husband voiced his opinion: he did not want a doula. He wanted to be the doula. While I think that is the sweetest thing ever, I also think that both of us might benefit from a doula. With that said, all the research that I have done about doulas, there is rarely anything said about natural births and no doula.
So, I was wondering if anyone has had a natural birth with no doula. I know that it can be done but I haven't heard many stories. I'm trying to imagine giving birth and having a very supportive husband and equally supportive mother present.. I just don't know where the doula would fit in.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: What is the popularity of a doula-free natural birth?
I think it kind of depends on the type of person you are and where you are deliering at.
I know that I won't want a ton of people hovering over me while I'm laboring. I like to go through things like that alone, so MH is more than enough. I also see a MW group so there will be a MW there at all times.
I'm also delivering at a very NB friendly hospital that offers water birth. I don't feel that I need someone to advocate for me in that area. That's why I haven't even considered a doula.
That's not to say that if there were different conditions present, I wouldn't get one.
I've had two natural births with no doula present. The first, I was 20 and honestly didn't have much of a plan. It just worked out that I delivered med and intervention free. With my second (14.5 years later), my husband and I took HypnoBirthing classes, I was delivered by a MW and in a hospital with fairly lax policies as far as interventions go (I was able to refuse the heplock/IV, no constant fetal monitoring, etc.).
I loved the hospital that Ben was born at, but they closed their maternity ward a couple of months after he was born. I am 31 weeks pregnant and have recently had some hesitation about the (new) practice that I'm going to. I am speaking with the head OB at my appt this week and if I am not satisfied with what she has to say, I am hiring a doula to advocate for me. Up until a few weeks ago, I was ok with everything that the OBs have said thus far, but a few comments made recently are making me question whether I'll be able to have the kind of intervention-free birth that I'd like.
I do think it's possible to have a natural hospital birth with no doula present, if your caregiver (MW/OB) and the hospital policies are in line with that. Have you done the hospital tour? If not, I would definitely do that and be sure to ask what their poliices are on the kind of interventions that you want to avoid and the things that you'd like to have (ie, skin to skin right away, delayed cord clamping, etc.). GL!
I had a natural birth without a doula. I can definitely see the benefit of having one, but I personally didn't feel like I would want one. I'm a pretty quiet and private person, so the thought of having a relative stranger with me through the birthing process was a little weird to me.
DH did an amazing job as my support system, but I also know that he would have supported me if I'd wanted a doula. This is YOUR birth, so if you really want one, definitely let your DH know.
But, if you don't want one, you can absolutely, 100% still have a natural birth. : )
TTC since 11/05...ectopic pg 4/08...early m/c 6/09...BFP 10/5/09!
Nora B...June 15, 2010...8lbs, 8oz...Med-free birth!
TTC #2 since 7/11...cycle #3 of Clomid + IUI = BFP
Malcolm...September 21, 2012...8lbs, 6oz...Another med-free birth!
I did not have a doula.
However, I am an L&D RN and deliver at the hospital I work with, so my nurses are my coworkers. Therefore, they probably function in much more the doula and nurse role than they would if I didn't know them at all and they were just my nurse. That being said, I don't think I'm the type of person who would want a doula, but who knows...I've never had one.
I had both my births without doulas. However, my DH was not my only "coach" or "doula" present either time.
For DS#1 I had DH, my sister, two girlfriends, a hospital nurse, and a midwife. All were very supportive and I loved having them all there.
For DS#2 I had DH, my two girlfriends, the birth center nurse and two midwvies (it was shift-change time). I again loved and needed all of them there - with the expection of teh nurse since she was very green and just sort of stood around.
My DH was initially against anyone else beign there, but after our first typical (i.e. marathon) first natural birth, he was so glad to have added support and people around to help. He was all for it for DS#2.
...baby #3 is here...
I had a med-free birth in a hospital attended by an OB without a doula.
DH was my only outside support person.
My nurses did the things like getting water and ice chips, and suggesting different positions, the birthing ball, a shower, etc. I suppose if the hospital is not NB friendly at all, you might need DH to know what to suggest, but beyond that I didn't see a need for a doula at all.
I was happy that there weren't more people there. My OB was on board with my plan, so I wasn't afraid I'd have to fight with her over interventions. As long as baby was ok (according to the intermittent monitoring) and I was doing fine, I was left to labor as I wished, and that was exactly what I wanted.
I would say it definitely depends on your personality. I had both my boys without interventions, with only my husband as support. And I wanted it that way. The nurses at our hospital are amazing, they did the bare minimum of what they needed to do and left me to labor as I needed to until my husband called them in. I was induced with our second child and I remember them doing the induction, making sure I was ok, turning down the lights and leaving me be. Between the induction at 6:30 pm and delivery at 1:45 am, they checked on me once to make sure I was comfortable and didnt need anything. That was it. My husband was a rock. He suggested different things, he did what I asked him to do and he reminded me (during transition) the best way to breathe through a contraction. He's currently a volunteer firefighter and is trained extensively in first aid/first responder type stuff, so he keeps his cool.
I'm sincerely hoping for a similar experience (though hopefully without induction this time. I much prefer going into labor on my own) this time around.
My husband did not want a doula present at either of our births, as no amount of talking could convince him that he would not have been pushed aside by one (this was before I became one myself). We took a birth class together and I honored his choice both times, and was successful the second time. I have to be honest and say that success had everything to do with me and my baby the second time. Because both times, he forgot everything about positioning and comfort measures, and both times encouraged me to get an epidural. He meant well, he's just not a good doula. He thought rubbing my arm and being empathetic was all it took. While that might be a successful approach for some, it wasn't what works for me.
In contrast, I've worked with a lot of dads who made my job very easy (and a one or two who could have straight up done my job
I just offer some pointers when they're needed, information along the way, and provide an extra set of hands when they get tired.
NorCalMOMS bio* NorCalBOTB* babywearingBIO
Harmony Doula
I've had 2 doula-free natural births and will have my 3rd without one as well. We considered using one with #1, even met with one, but declined due to the cost (in my area they're around $1000 and include things I dont want to do/pay for like belly casting, and at the time I didn't know about using student doulas for cheaper). We both agreed that having one would likely be beneficial, but not essential, especially since we couldn't really afford the additional cost.
I've heard nothing but great things from people that use them though, and I still think they're very beneficial to both mother and father. In retrospect I kind of wish we had got one that first time as my labor ended up being 30 hours and DH probably would have appreciated the support and help during that time (as he was my only labor support I didn't let him leave my side; poor guy).
If you're interested in using one I'd suggest meeting with a few with DH. The doula can confirm what services she provides, both before and during labor, how she supports you AND DH, etc. DH may end up feeling more comfortable with the idea once he has a more clear idea of what they do and how they help HIM to support you, rather than REPLACE him.
I didn't have a doula and in my particular situation I really didn't need one. I delivered at a hospital that was very pro-natural childbirth and labored at home for the first 10hrs arriving at the hospital dilated to 6. So other than the nurse coming in every 15min to listen to the heartbeat I was left alone, which is what I wanted.
I definitely see the benefit though and one of my CNMs said it would be the best money I ever spent if I hired one. But to answer your question, yes it is possible.
We're using the Bradley method (mostly) and hubby and I did the workbook together and read a few other books about the method. We also read Husband Coached Childbirth; From what I remember, they all seemed to favor and advocate the husband/partner acting as the "coach" or doula. Might be worth a read!
Honestly, DH was useless during the birth despite all the classes, reading, and exercises. My doula knew exactly where on my back I needed pressure, and when to offer a cold compress. She made a HUGE difference to me. I also liked being surrounded by women.
I never felt like I needed advocacy but I did need a woman's touch and shared experience.
TBH, the thought of a doula isn't that entising to me... I'm not the kind of person who likes people near me/touching me/talking to me when I'm in pain or anything like that. My husband will be with me through the labor and delivery, and my mom will be there for the labor part. I can't have her in there during the birth... that is just too weird for me, and she's the kind of person who gets her feelings hurt REALLY easily if I were to tell her I didn't want her to do something.... to the point where she might do it anyway. (i.e. Not stay in the corner I ask her to wait in)
If I need other support, I have a couple of other friends I can call who will come and do that. I might change my mind after this birth, but I don't see the point in wasting a doula's time if I'm not going to want them there anyway.