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Pre-School and Daycare
Princess_Lily
member
An outsiders perspective please?
Princess_Lily
member
My child is in ST (6mo), due to some minor delays found.
Our house is an english speaking household.
The following is what happened in the preschool recently:
As a background for you, all of the preschools within a 20mi radius of our home is bilingual, although in tours when asked about language immersion they advise me they are in fact English only...advertisements are in English, and only when you sign up/sign a contract do you see in the class how immersed the classroom is in the secondary language. we have attempted two education classes...one was a mommy and me and one is a preschool.
When I initially did a tour of the school, they advised me that it is english immersion only...I soon realized the teachers spoke to DS in the secondary language as the primary, and english as the secondary.
I didn't mind that, and were willing to give the school a try.
In his classroom DS was the only english speaking child, whereas all of the other children spoke in the secondary language as well. Over the past few months, his classmates made him feel alientated/outcasted... they vocally kept him out of activities and bullied him verbally several times some of which I was a witness to. He doesn't want to go to school anymore...he shuns away from his classroom, and/or clings to only the teachers (he is normally a very outgoing child).
This week I had a meeting with the VP/Director & his teacher. They all refused to believe that my child was being outcasted/bullied, and refused to look into it further. Although there were clear issues of alientation (confirmed with their own accounts) She claimed that these accounts (I QUOTE) "...This is not bullying..." that bulling is only when its physical. I said that she is 100% wrong, and there are several examples of bullying...one is physical and other is verbal (ie. outcasting someone from a group to make them feel shamed,etc). I told the director how he loves to go to the church preschool on Sundays, and he wants to stay in there. Her response was, "Well then, i want to go to this school and observe him there." I explained how it is over 45min away and on a Sunday...she still wanted to. Then in a follow up email to our meeting (sent within a hour of the actual ending of the meeting) she insisted I tell her where the church is so she could attend. IMHO she is a little too insistant, I didn't respond to the email, but I didn't like her attitude there.
IMHO I was shocked & saddened, but I got my answer with how we will proceed with this school.
Let me also add, that I tried to reason with them (I wasn't this phycho mom in the meeting) I was asking them clearly how they will be addressing my concerns about these children, how they will encourage more group activity, etc. I refused to let my emotions guide the meeting, because then I would've walked away with regret. This was a very positive meeting, in the sense that I handled it in a manner that was as best emotionally that I think for any mother/father could handle. I left the ball in their court...but they kept on saying that it was *my* child that was the problem...I in turn told them that maybe he doesn't want to be a part of the group because they don't want him in the group - that in turn that there is a "cycle" to this problem...and I asked them how they are making it stop. I suggested moving him to a different classroom, etc. They refused to accept any and all suggestions, nor was willing to work with me and my concerns as a parent. They refused to accept that they have a problem too, and refused to address the issues within the classroom directly.
This will be his last week.
I will be speaking with his pathologist to find out what their recommendation is in this situation, however until the appointment, I would like to get an "outsiders" perspective,
This discussion has been closed.
Re: An outsiders perspective please?
Bilingual Education is the term most often used where a school assists English language leaners to "assimilate" to their new environment in an english school; such as an ESL program or partial day teaching in their native language.
However in many occasions, it may also refer to bilingual students being present within a school system, but no official bilingualism in the curriculum (or no official transitional teaching from one language to English).
Language immersion programs is a method of teaching 100% in a said language (ie. French, German, Spanish, etc.) Early Language Immersion does not start though until age 5 or 6 and goes through into adulthood.
In DS's schooling there are bilingual students present however there is no official bilingualism in the curriculum itself. Please note though, that my issues do not stem from the current bilingual language present. As I said in my original post, I do not mind my child learning in a bilingual school. The school was pretty, up-to-date security wise, and the teachers and staff always smiled. However after being there a few months, I noticed more and more issues arising. I don't know who is reading this, and I don't know if anyone knows my back history with this school...so I just wanted to give all the readers here a little insight on DS's background in speech and what school he goes to currently.
I digress though, let me state that my concerns comes from the dynamtics within the classroom directly, how the children are fairing with DS. Personally, much like other parents I want him to thrive in an environment with other children fostering his learning experiences and making new friends.
Please understand that I cannot go into specific details of the examples of how my child was treated by the other children due to privacy, however prior to having any conversations with the teachers I went over my concerns with DH and DS's grandparents, to ensure I wasn't "flying off the handle" - those thoughts were confirmed and everyone was quite upset (there have been several incidents).
Mostly though, I was upset with how the school has handled the situation, however I cannot force someone to handle a situation or not. I brought my concerns up, hoping for a positive outcome, and sadly they chose the path they have chosen...which in turn allows me to make my decision about leaving the school a much clearer one.
I asked DS's pedi this week about if she would know of a school with a free-play option and not so much a structured environment I find common in preschool settings today. Her two suggestions were Montessori and Day Care. Fred, I think you recommended that a while back. My goal for DS from now into Kindergarten is to foster his education in an environment most suitable for him to thrive in and allow to make new friendships which could last a lifetime.
We had a similar experience in DD's old preschool. Due to the ethnicity of the teachers, I think kids of similar background requested the class (well, the parents did). DS was in the other class the year before and did not have the issues she did. Basically, she had 2 girls that she was close with (and 3 girls is never a good thing) and if they didn't want to play with her, she really had no where else to go. The other kids spoke the same language and there seemed to be a barrier there. I don't think the teachers really saw it and she eventually started to hate going to school. We switched schools and sent her to one where there was more focus on social growth and she's done much better there. Ages 3-5 are tough with social issues and I think some kids are more sensitive than others too. DD really needed more support than what her former school could offer.
FWIW, DD and DS were at a Montessori school. DD has thrived at a school district preschool where the teachers have early childhood credentials and continuing ed requirements provided by the school. Not all Montessoris are created equal. While ours had Montessori certified teachers, I found the lack of early childhood ed to be a detractor.
I did a tour yesterday of a Montessori School and from what I could gather from the school looks great.
- Structured Play Experiences, which are child led. DS could pick and choose and for how long he can do said activity.
- Children have the option of napping or not, and if they choose not to they just have to play quietly within the room (to respect the nappers). Non-Nappers do not have to be on the mat for 1.5 hours.
- Every classroom has two class pets (ie. turtles, parakeets, hamsters, lizards)
- The are an accreddited school within Montessori Certifications (not just certified teachers - there is a school like this).
- They have a large campus which allows children to continue education from preschool until 8th grade.
- Classroom has mixed age groups from 2.5-6, etc. so children can learn from eachother. DS loves to follow what older children are doing.
- There is a 3mo period of introduction, and if Montessori isn't a good fit, they will give back any monies which haven't been utilized during the time period.
One thing to note though...DS must be 100% potty trained. Therefore, the summer program is out, but maybe the Fall will be an excellent place for him. He is on the road to PT'ing, but not 100% there yet.
I think instead of keeping him in school for the next few months until Summer ends, maybe bring him to the church preschool 1-2x per week (for socialization experience - or look into that YMCA play group) and continue with ST and PT.
Hopefully he will catch on to PT quickly...we've been using pullups day & night, but I think that is only delaying being fully potty training. I heard using straight underwear will help encourage him to pee in the potty because its quite uncomfortable, unlike a diaper/pull up which soaks up moisture.
BFP 8/2/10 (3w5d); No more heartbeat on 8/30/10 (7w4d); D&C on 9/2/10 (8w) - Baby Boy with Triploidy
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Diagnosed with Compound Heterozygous MTHFR
BFP 3/9/11; Baby Boy #2 born on 11/7/11
Currently TTC Baby #3
Exactly! When I asked them what they will be doing to address this (meaning how they were going to speak with the girls/girls parents, etc. they said that the problem isn't this one girl(s) (both are friends) but its actually DS! That instantly shut me down to any future discussion, and I made the decision to pull DS then.
They are a pretty school on the outside, smiling teachers, pretty school...but inside, the "nitty gritty" is that the reality is there is a whole bunch of passive aggressive behavior with the director and teachers. They have a set of rules and even if you make suggestions to them (move your child to a different classroom to avoid a problem with students - he likes this one classroom)...they smile at you but the answer is still "NO!" You want to believe that they are good and want the best for your family...but after three months of being there, I realized they they don't want that, Your money for them...thats all.
And due to those reasons, they are very passive agressive.