2) AF showed up out of the blue after an extended absence.
3) 1&2 combnied make me a congested, emotional mess.
4) Sometimes my wife treats me like a non entity in the mornings. The last two mornings she has come in while I was getting Ky dressed and said morning to Ky, given her kisses, and tickled her tummy all without even acknowledging my presence.
5) Yesterday was a day long text message argument and today is not looking so pretty either.
6) On a positive note I lost 7 lbs over the last two weeks.
7) I went to the store on my lunch break yesterday and will end up there again today since I forgot something...grr.
8) When I came into the office today the main overhead lights were off. I have two desk lamps and it was perfect. Then my sup came in and turned on the overhead lights and now my headache is worse...
9) I have a difficult (that is really the only Bump appropriate word I can call him) customer on my roster today and I KNOW he is going to turn it into a big argument and I do not have the patience for that. Take the deal we are offering or don't and lose your house, your choice.
10) I am normally not so unsympathetic as I am to jerk in number 9 BUT when you are more than 4 years apst due on your payments and we are offering to bring your loan current and it will onyl cost you 100 more per month than your original payment and you have the income to afford it...take the d*mn deal, don't bicker about it! We are basically writing off almost 50000!
1. It's almost 11am eastern time and there is only one response to TTT.
2. Is there a secret party that I was not invited to going on somewhere else?? It doesn't seem to be on the-boards-that-shall-not-be-named or on fb....
3. IUI number 5: check.
4. The doctor stayed in the room for like five minutes afterwards and seemed to want to discuss next steps if this doesn't work. I felt like I was supposed to take advantage of this since we almost never see "our" doctor, but that was really really not the moments to talk about next steps. If this is BFN I'll probably reject shutting the conversation down.
5. We turned our kitchen into a fake "porch" - aka camping chairs, a cooler, and some cat grass set up where the dining room table goes. Think we want to move to the real suburbs?
6. Realistically we can't move for however long it takes to TTC + 9 months + 2 maternity leaves + job hunting. Probably + another Master's degree for me. And that's f-ing depressing.
7. New England in 2015 or bust! Apparently we have to plan on the same time scale as the next Olympics location.
8. My train tour last weekend was fun. Quirky gifts for the win, but too bad so much fun stuff is expensive.
9. One of my workers called in sick today, the day before she's on vacation for 4 days. Sketchy much?
10. I like that it's flip flop weather.
TTC with PCOS since July 2011.
IVF Oct/Nov 2012
Beta #1 = 77, Beta #2 = 190, Beta #3 = 1044
Cautiously optimistic.
I can only get it up for like three things Tuesday:
1. Witnessing the whole GBCN exodus has been tons of fun. There are some very funny women involved.
2. We're coming up on ICI #3 this weekend. Probably our last at-home attempt (for the June cycle, should it get to that, we're hooking up with a repro specialist to do in-office IUI)
3. The nice thing about being a lesbian is that no one yells at you for seeing a RE. If you do that on the straight boards before a full year of failed attempts, someone will yell "YOU'RE TAKING ALL OF THE APPOINTMENTS AWAY FROM WOMEN WHO NEED THEM"
The word you're looking for is SEX. I promise. No, it's not gender. It's sex. You're welcome.
3. The nice thing about being a lesbian is that no one yells at you for seeing a RE. If you do that on the straight boards before a full year of failed attempts, someone will yell "YOU'RE TAKING ALL OF THE APPOINTMENTS AWAY FROM WOMEN WHO NEED THEM"
If you say it too loud they'll yell at you too.
TTC with PCOS since July 2011.
IVF Oct/Nov 2012
Beta #1 = 77, Beta #2 = 190, Beta #3 = 1044
Cautiously optimistic.
1. We have sugar ants everywhere in the house. And fleas are starting to show up. I love this time of year but not the bugs.
2. We bought new diapers yesterday, some BumGenius and a couple Kawaii Goodnight Heavy Wetters. The Kawaii is the first diaper Apple has been able to wear all night and not wet through, I AM IN LOVE.
3. We also got Apple a raw amber teething necklace and Sophie the Giraffe, we are at the point where we will try anything to calm the constant crying.
4. I bought supplies to make fried chicken for dinner but I may end up asking J to grill if it's too hot.
5. Owl can say all done, pee pee, ball, and bye bye. I wish she would say them on her own without us asking though.
6. I REALLY need the Love and Logic book.
7. A has 2.5 weeks of school left!
8. My mom is engaged and I am so happy for her, it looks like she finally found a good guy.
9. If J wants to adopt 2 boys, she better start helping with the kids and house otherwise I'm not moving forward.
1. Why can't people RSVP? We sent out invites to the boys' birthday party 2 weeks ago and as of last night got 5 (out of 18) replies. Last night I sent out a reminder e-mail/making sure that people got the invites since they were sent home in the kids' homework folders and only got 1 more person. Sigh.
2. We have so much to do before this weekend. I have no idea how we are going to get it all done.
3. The kids' t-ball games have been rained out twice now. And they are missing the one on Friday because of their birthday.
4. My dad is coming into town this weekend. Wish us all luck.
5. I am covering a co-worker in another unit and told her that the one area I know nothing about on her unit is XYZ. She assured me that it wouldn't come up because she had per-screened all of the patients. Guess what came up this morning? Yup. And now I look incompetent. Great.
6. I really want a milkshake. Chocolate mint, please.
7. L is going to meet someone from this board for a dissertation interview and doesn't seem to be squicked out that she is meeting one of my "internet" friends. Probably helps that I met this person and can verify that she is not really a 60 year old man.
8. I heard a rumor that we are getting free lunch. I hope that it true. I am starving.
2. Is there a secret party that I was not invited to going on somewhere else?? It doesn't seem to be on the-boards-that-shall-not-be-named or on fb....
It does seem to be a little slow around here lately. Where is everybody?
Same sex couple TTC with donor sperm. I am 35 and carrying. Endometriosis and DOR. AMH 0.5, AFC 5-8, FSH 7ish
1. I should be working. I have so much to do but am VERY unmotivated. It doesn't help that our meeting this afternoon was canceled so I have from 2pm to 4:30 to do work.
2. S really screwed up this weekend and I am still pissed about it. She seems to think I should be ok because she apologized and feels bad. Sorry it just doesn't work that way.
3. I have to get a ton of stuff together for S's party on Sat and I don't want to to do is since I am still pissed at her and all.
4. I only have 3 mondays left until school is done!
5. S has not applied for any jobs yet. I want to scream what the f is your problem but am instead just letting it be.
6. My mantra is this too shall pass but I am getting concerned that it will not.
7. I think we need to go to marriage counseling.
8. I can't belive it has come to this.
9. These past 3 years have kind of sucked.
10. I am ready for my wife to join the land of the working normally functioning people. I am sick of it is all about her right now. She needs to get over herself.
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1. Today is Mel's first day back at work, and also her first day of a new job.
2. Therefore, this is my first full day of watching the babies alone.
3. We planned to go to bed last night around 8:30-9 after a feeding (Rather than 11:00-12:00), so that she could stand a chance at getting 6-7 hours of sleep.
4. The babies had a different plan. Rather than sleeping after the 8:30 feeding, like they usually do, they stayed up for 2 1/2 hours and finally fell asleep around 11:00ish. I was really nervous, because I thought that as soon as I closed my eyes they would be waking us (me) up to feed again.
5. To my surprise, they didn't wake us up until 4:30. Not sure how they managed that. But after all the chaos, Mel got 5 hrs of sleep. So it was nice.
6. I don't know what to make for dinner. I'd really like to make steaks, but we don't have any...
7. I'm sad that there are so many things I intended to do before returning to work, and some of them didn't get done. Where did that time go?
8. We've decided that Mel should give up pumping. She's been battling a supply and demand issue for 3 months, and when you spend all that time pumping, but don't get very much, it's frustrating. At this point, we'll pump 2 more weeks so they had the BM 3 months and be done.
9. She feels disappointed, but I'm proud of her. She was at a disadvantage with them being born early. They were too small to really successfully breast feed at birth and once they got used to the bottles in the hospital, BFing wasn't really happening. Since pumping isn't the same as feeding (plus there being two babies) her supply couldn't keep up.
10. With that said, I hope we get a decent amount for our pump, since it was $400 plus we have 4 sets of pump parts and tons of the bottles.
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1. The new job is good so far. Definitely still need to find my footing, but I'm getting there.
2. I have spent WAY too much money this week on all the things I had been putting off until I got a job.
3. But now I have some cute work clothes, a spring jacket just in time for the weather to be in the 80s, and an up to date glasses Rx.
4. One of the labs my doctor's office uses is out of network for my insurance plan. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be on the hook for a $400 bill and I'm not pleased.
5. I walked home from work yesterday and it was wonderful. It's exactly two miles, so not a bad way to fit in a little physical activity.
6. C's gone this week at a conference and I really miss her.
7. C talked to her mom on Sunday and her mom seemed to regret the "we can't support you" conversation that took place. Apparently their pastor told them "well, you've told her how you feel, now it's your job to be a parent". I am so thankful to hear their pastor preaching God's grace.
8. Next week I go to Washington (state) for a music festival. It's an "I have to do this one more time before we become parents" trip. I'm pretty psyched.
9. The allergy elimination diet totally isn't that bad, to the point that I've been hesitant to reintroduce foods. I'm starting today though, with a food I'm pretty sure should be fine - lemons!
10. If I'm allergic/sensitive to lemons, I'm going to be really sad.
Same sex couple TTC with donor sperm. I am 35 and carrying. Endometriosis and DOR. AMH 0.5, AFC 5-8, FSH 7ish
1. I'm doing two self-care polar opposites today, acupuncture in the AM, dentist in the PM
2. I officially had a negative Beta, as I'd been suspecting since starting to bleed on Thursday last week.
3. Good news is Dr. said "go ahead and try again" without needing an intervening office visit- so, we're taking this cycle off because I can't very well stick needles into my own thighs (go ahead, try it) and I'll be out of town on Business trips for about 10 days when I'd need to be getting jabbed.
4. My partner came home yesterday and brought me 1 pint of Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Brownie Fro-yo (way to sabotage low glycemic index eating) and also brought me a non-Pandora charm for my Pandora bracelet. While both things were ultimately really really sweet and loving it was just that weird offness.
5. Randomly cried pretty much whenever I wanted yesterday because I was saddened about our failed IUI.
6. Smartphone email for my job has been down since last week. It's making working mobile-y a PITA.
7. I'm looking forward to the weekend- going to a workshop on Friday, and dinner with friends on Saturday.
8. Why don't I just buy a yearly pass to my yoga studio? Monthy passes wind up costing $1308, a yearly pass is $500.00. Maybe when I get summer salary for extra work I'll buy that.
9. It's rainy. And gross. And I don't want to go to the dentist.
4. The doctor stayed in the room for like five minutes afterwards and seemed to want to discuss next steps if this doesn't work. I felt like I was supposed to take advantage of this since we almost never see "our" doctor, but that was really really not the moments to talk about next steps. If this is BFN I'll probably reject shutting the conversation down.
I feel like many doctors have 0 social skills. And don't quite understand why that conversation wasn't appropriate at that moment. Good luck!
1. HUGE headache today. I think its allergy related, since I'm off of my antihistamine.
2. My nose bled a little bit this morning, I managed to convince myself that it could be an early pregnancy sign. I know it can be, but realistically, when you are struggling with allergies, and blowing your nose all day, its just as likely to be the allergies.
3. I had THE BEST steak ever last night. It was from Vitamin Cottage and the brand was Heartland Meadows. Lovely, lovely, lovely. I followed it up with Ice cream. Not like my normally 'two or three veggie sides' conscious me.
4. I am wearing pretty dainty sandalls, but my heels need some work. Pedi coming up!
5. I don't want to go into a nail spa and inhale all the rubbish in case I am 'with child'
6. Augh, head is pounding.
7. It is only 10:48 here and I am starving! I think an early lunch is in order.
8. Last night I cleared out the spare room and found a few things for our friend's charity garage sale this weekend. Look for Berlyn's Journey for Justice on Facebook. Interesting story. Our friend, a woman, filed for paternity and was granted it. Long and interesting story that is changing laws in our state and could affect lesbians and parental rights in more.
9. I wonder if I am knocked up.
10. Is it Friday yet?
IUI #1 - 10 April 2012 unmonitored and unmedicated with RE
IUI #2 - 05 May 2012 unmonitored and unmedicated with RE
IUI #3 - 05 July 2012 unmonitored and unmedicated with RE
IUI #4 - 30 August 2012 medicated and monitoredLetrozole and Ovidrel Trigger
10. I am ready for my wife to join the land of the working normally functioning people. I am sick of it is all about her right now. She needs to get over herself.
You know where you can find me if you want to chat. I can relate to much of this.
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10. I am ready for my wife to join the land of the working normally functioning people. I am sick of it is all about her right now. She needs to get over herself.
You know where you can find me if you want to chat. I can relate to much of this.
Lots of rough times going on this week, I'm sorry. Board hugs!
Also I wanted to say that I don't think this is the kind of board that would ever have some members leave and re-settle somewhere else without telling everyone and inviting them to come. We're not too cliquey in these parts
1) This is my first TTT as a mom. Woot!
2) M sounds very angry and offended when she cries; H sounds very, very sad. The faces they make when they really get going are hilarious.
3) Also hilarious: the reflexes. Those little arms and legs are just out of control when they aren't swaddled! Poor things.
4) Sometimes this feels quite a bit easier than I expected it to. Sometimes it feels really hard.
5) I am struggling with feeling guilty for not enjoying every moment. I know that's stupid; kids are hard and no parent honestly enjoys every moment. Jen is, for the most part, her usual upbeat self, and then I feel guilty that she's doing better than me when she is the one recovering from a C-section.
6) I don't want to wish away any moment of this cuddly newborn time. That said, it scares me how floppy and tiny and delicate they are right now, and I will feel better/safer when they're a bit more robust.
7) The feeding is intense. Between breastfeeding, supplement finger-feeding and pumping, it takes 60-75 minutes each time and we're doing it 8x a day. I'm hoping we can end the supplementing soon.
8) I tried one of the two newborn-sized cloth diapers I bought on H - who do they make these giant diapers for? I think it will be a while before we get into the one-size cloth. A friend of a friend gave us tons of newborn disposables her kids had outgrown, so we're using those up.
9) We've gotten chocolate covered strawberries from four different people. It's like our friends know us or something
10) I dyed my hair red since I never see anyone but family and Target cashiers; it seemed like a good time to take a hair risk. It turned out barely noticeable, but I still like it.
Work has pretty much sucked today. I had a 2hr 45min meeting about a brief that I am the third author on. The only reason I am the third author is because I produced the data, however everything discussed had nothing to do with my work.
The meeting sucked up most of lunch, in other words C and I did not get to eat together.
I was sad this Mother's Day because I did not get to speak to my Mother or my oldest daughter. (Phone problems.)
Do you ever get your feelings hurt for no big reason, but they hurt bad nonetheless?
My Peanut has become quite bossy lately, it's either "Mama get it!" or "Mama move!"
My Little Man has been letting me know that he wants MOMMY to tend to his needs.
I wonder if there will ever come a time that Kiddos will sleep in their own bed all night long.
I have some business I should be taking care of right now...but I don't have the documents I need.
1. Hellooooo there ladies!!! I missed you all while we were on vacation last week...lots to catch up on here. I'm sorry to hear about the rough times some of you are having...sending hugs your way...
2. E crawled in bed with me around midnight because she "couldn't sleep". And then she fell out of my bed around 2 something and I had to settle her again. Poor babe. And mommy is now exhausted too.
3. That babe turns 6 on Saturday. I can't believe it. She is such a big girl now.
4. E's dad said he wanted to order the cake for her party with her friends that will be on Sunday. When I talked to him last night he said he hadn't ordered it yet but "oh, it only takes them an hour to put one together". Um...ok. Please don't fail this one simple task that you volunteered to do.
5. I need to find some recipes for fun sandwiches for E's party. Anyone have ideas/suggestions?
6. K and I had a fantastic time in Cancun. We saw two different Mayan ruin sites, swam with dolphins and visited Isla Mujeres (Island of Women). I am so glad we were able to take this trip together, it was a much needed break.
7. On Sunday evening E and I baked cookies and took thank you cards to the two neighbors who gave us welcoming gifts. They both seemed surprised and I like to think that we are going to establish good relationships with them.
8. My folks were here for the weekend and my dad commented to me again about how nice K seems and he asked about how she and E get along and if she's wanted kids, her previous relationships, etc. I think based on the things I've said to him recently he knows I'm serious about her and our future. It made my weekend for him to show genuine interest in us.
9. There is so much unpacking to do but it really has to wait for the weekends...the nights with E go by far too quickly with dinner, homework, bath...and this week getting party favors, etc.
10. K and I bought matching silver rings in Cancun. Nooo we're not married, yet. I told her it's as a promise of what is to come. But we did have some fun sending a pic to friends who teased us before we went that we were going to get married while we were there!!!
10. I am ready for my wife to join the land of the working normally functioning people. I am sick of it is all about her right now. She needs to get over herself.
You know where you can find me if you want to chat. I can relate to much of this.
Ditto.
Ditto x 2. And my wife is also *trying* to reenter the workforce- incredibly frustrating. And we are in therapy so let me know if you want support.
1. I am confused as to where I am supposed to be posting. I need guidelines, people!
2. I am finding it odd to deal with the idea of pregnancy and having children from the lesbian side of life. Having another woman involved means I do not get to make all decisions regarding purchases for baby items. Rationally, I understand this, but apparently my emotions do not agree.
3. Pursuant to the above, I am going back to therapy.
4. Today is beautiful, and my soul wants to be outside. But nothing will get done if I am out there instead of in here.
5. We need to buy a new mattress. While not particularly old, we wake up sleeping on top of each other thanks to it caving in. It's uncomfortable.
6. Peanut oil is not as easily obtainable as I assumed it would be.
7. I need a new pair of shoes but don't want to go out to find one. Why can't online shopping provide you with accurate measurements?
10. I am ready for my wife to join the land of the working normally functioning people. I am sick of it is all about her right now. She needs to get over herself.
((hugs)) I know its not something any couple wants to do, but there is no shame in going to counseling. We've done it - and it helped a lot. Let me know if you ever want to chat.
Another big fan of counselling right here. We had no really pressing issues when we started (more fears that our baggage from the past would ruin our relationship) but going has made us so much better together! I consider those who go to be truly intelligent and invested in their relationships!
1. My lunch is not that healthy. I'm not even done eating it and I already feel a little guilty.
2. I'm trying to not spend money on lunches out though, and this is what was leftover in the work fridge.
3. Too much red meat already this week! Chicken for dinner tonight, and maybe I'll do tomorrow "meat-less."
4. (Um, this wasn't supposed to be all about food. Sorry!)
5. Jury Duty yesterday, so I have a bunch to catch up on. I got a good amount done, but I can feel my drive fading!
6. Maybe I should take a walk to pep myself up. It looks like its finally clearing up!
7. Never got out for that walk, but somehow 3 hours just flew by without me getting that much done. ::sigh::
8. Lately mornings with Gwen have been so much easier. Some mornings it means I just get her dressed and hurry through my shower a bit, but this morning she let Trav get her all dressed with no fussing!
9. Sitting in my purse right now is a book on weaning, not sure how I feel about that!
10. I've only had a glass of milk and a hot chocolate to drink today! Running off to chug a ton of water.
Maybe I don't have a heightened sense of smell, but I've never smelled any vagina on my pants. -- TSD
1. Oh vey... is it June 8th yet these students are crazy.
2. AF is making me nuts. After 8 years of living together DW and I are synching up and my cycle was 27 days this month. I wish DW would spring a leak already though because hopefully this will be her last one for a while. We start trying again in June.
3. We are officially switching donors. Our 1st guy had good number but gave us 3 BFNs so we are selling back last couple vials of him we have and picked a donor we liked even more.
4. I just had some Starbucks...ahhhhhhhh
5. I have been subbing so much lately. I think teachers are just DONE!!!!
6. I bought a couple pairs of new shorts from American Eagle and it just reaffirmed even more how happy I am that I had gastric Bypass.
7. I am 9 days away from my two year "surgiversary" and still 225 lbs down depending. Plus the doctor estimates I need about 40 lbs of extra skin removed so 265 sounds good to me.
8. I need to have the skin removed but I am A. afraid of it, supposedly super painful B. my insurance is refusing it because I am too "clean" C. Want a baby way more than I want 4 feet of incisions right now so our money is going there instead of pay out of pocket.
9. If we can manage to get these IUIs covered I may have the surgery
10. Ahhhhh coffeee!!!!
We had three BFN in the Fall of 2011. It is back on to some baby making come June. Swim little fellas, SWIM!!!!
9. If J wants to adopt 2 boys, she better start helping with the kids and house otherwise I'm not moving forward.
How many kids would that add up to? Five?
You are brave. No, really. I wonder if I will go nuts with one (possibly two depending on my body), but five? Impressive.
That would be 6 kids, our (and our states) limit. I want 6 but not if I continue to single handedly parent them and be the bad guy while J comes home and does nothing but create more work for me and gets to enjoy the kids throwing themselves at her like she is a god.
2. I bought a sling for pumpkin at a resale shop today. It was kind of an impulse buy, but he seemed to liek it for the rest of our errands.
3. I said I was going Paleo this week--then had a big diet coke.
4. We may have someone who is going to give us a backyard swing set (wooden kind with a sandbox!) I just have to figure out a way to transport it... and re set it up. Yikes!
5. I am sad House is ending. I want the last episode to just be a big road trip.
6. I really really want a pot rack. Why are they so expensive?
7. Why is my kitchen so small?
8. It's wonderful that the girls' foster families want to start sending stuff for them now.... but I have NO ROOM. Can't they just wait until our tenant is gone? I hate the idea of them bringing stuff over, & just sitting in boxes/bags, but really, where am I supposed to put it?
9. Made this coconut chicken, gluten-free/paleo with coconut flour. Awesome.
These cookies--super easy & the kids liked em, too.
1. I should get my first positive OPK of this cycle today or tomorrow! That means another insemination tomorrow or Thursday!
2. J was cranky all weekend and we got into a huge fight on Sunday. I'm chalking it up to PMS and stress.
3. All of her stress is work related. She's still unsure if she's going to get the promotion that everyone is telling her she deserves (her direct manager, district manager and regional manager included). There is also no real timeline as to when we will know wether or not she'll be getting it.
4. I found some really awesome recipes on pinterest for fried rice and bourbon chicken that I'm making this week! I'm incredibly excited to try them!
5. As for tonight, I'm making pepperoni rolls!
6. We're starting to look for a new apartment. We really want to stay in our current neighborhood, but I'm not finding many places that allow dogs. I wish I could ask if it matters that my cat is bigger than my dog, lol.
7. I wish I knew about #3. It would really help with knowing what kind of rent I should be looking for...
8. I've started clipping coupons but still have nowhere near the amount to be considered a couponer.
9. We never got to go on our movie date last week and that makes me sad. I really want a nice date night, so I think we're going to try for one next week.
10. My brother and I still aren't talking. I think I'm finally going to shoot him a text today to see if he's willing to talk through this. I hope he has cooled off.
Im sorry to those that are having a rough week Internet hugs to you!
10. I am ready for my wife to join the land of the working normally functioning people. I am sick of it is all about her right now. She needs to get over herself.
I remember the "I can't believe it has come to this" feeling well. I felt like I had failed because we needed counseling. But like everyone else said, there's no shame in going, and for us it really helped. We would absolutely go again if we got to a point where we felt we weren't making progress working things out on our own.
Same sex couple TTC with donor sperm. I am 35 and carrying. Endometriosis and DOR. AMH 0.5, AFC 5-8, FSH 7ish
Yay its still Tuesday on the West Coast. I just got around to the Bump now, with the exception of an earlier peek - my new work internet browser sucks.
1. It's late and I should be going to bed after taking my handful of prenatals and other pregnancy vitamins (I hate swallowing pills so its always a dreaded event).
2. My dogs are laying quietly on the floor because EV took them to the park - love her.
3. Tomorrow we get to visit our house again - so excited, I'm taking a measuring tape and a camera.
4. I've been dreaming about living in the house and already feel like I know what it "feels" like to live there.. Which is weird but cool.
5. Driving to work this morning I realized how little I care about it. It's really sad. I just can't seem to focus and "bring it". I'm glad I'm already training my replacement.
6. Stayed up late last night talking with EV about life changes - particularly for her. She feels a little trapped I think - in her job, by being the person buying this house, just all the "adult stuff" going on.
7. Today we started researching a great local gym, health (and fitness) is starting to be important again. I will admit this took a back burner these past 8 months +. Now I'm starting to realize that once Kaden gets here I want to get back in shape.
8. Yay salads taste good again. So grateful, I feel like I've been living on ice cream and carbs this whole pregnancy. (Not really - but close). :-)
9. About 3 weeks to pack the house and I am severely under motivated....
10. Also I have this crazy sacroiliac joint pain, it's depressing because I can't even take the dogs out I'm hoping the Chiropractor visits will help...
That would be 6 kids, our (and our states) limit. I want 6 but not if I continue to single handedly parent them and be the bad guy while J comes home and does nothing but create more work for me and gets to enjoy the kids throwing themselves at her like she is a god.
Six! Yes, you are clearly much more of a superhero than I. I think I'd be about to kill someone if I were in your shoes. One's partner has to actually step the heck up if they agreed to having the kids in the first place. Being the bad guy to your kids is the worst.
I often worry that the neurosis of my wife is going to make having children impossible. For example, she informed me yesterday that if we were to have a daughter, I have to change all the diapers. HMMMM. No.
1. SSG, I can offer an ear *and* a beer. Sorry you are going through a tough time..
2. I cried last night.
3. I have an initial consult with an RE next Thursday. YAY!
4. But then I realized I took clomid when I got pregnant with N. And then I realized We only have 10 vials of of our donor, who is retired. So if we want to have siblings (and more than 2) we have to go all in. Which means clomid again. Which means I would have to stop breastfeeding.
5. See #2. I never thought I would stop this early I love breastfeeding. I am so sad. I thought I could just slow down until AF comes back and then BF all through my pregnancy.
6. But I am 35 and there aren't many years left in this ol gal. It's kind of time to s*it or get off the pot. So if we want to get a sibling (or more) it's time to move.
7. My new mantra - a sibling is more important than EBF. But every time I nurse, I want to cry.
8. The house we want is interested in our offer!!! YAY!!! But they don't want to get involved in a contingency agreement (so we have to have our house under agreement before they accept). ARHG. But a couple came by last weekend and totally fell in love with our house!! But they have to have their condo under agreement first. ARHG. What a cluster f*ck.
9. Talk about a stalemate.
10. I don't know what the actual definition of 'stalemate' is. But it sounded appropriate.
Re: TTT
1) I have a cold.
2) AF showed up out of the blue after an extended absence.
3) 1&2 combnied make me a congested, emotional mess.
4) Sometimes my wife treats me like a non entity in the mornings. The last two mornings she has come in while I was getting Ky dressed and said morning to Ky, given her kisses, and tickled her tummy all without even acknowledging my presence.
5) Yesterday was a day long text message argument and today is not looking so pretty either.
6) On a positive note I lost 7 lbs over the last two weeks.
7) I went to the store on my lunch break yesterday and will end up there again today since I forgot something...grr.
8) When I came into the office today the main overhead lights were off. I have two desk lamps and it was perfect. Then my sup came in and turned on the overhead lights and now my headache is worse...
9) I have a difficult (that is really the only Bump appropriate word I can call him) customer on my roster today and I KNOW he is going to turn it into a big argument and I do not have the patience for that. Take the deal we are offering or don't and lose your house, your choice.
10) I am normally not so unsympathetic as I am to jerk in number 9 BUT when you are more than 4 years apst due on your payments and we are offering to bring your loan current and it will onyl cost you 100 more per month than your original payment and you have the income to afford it...take the d*mn deal, don't bicker about it! We are basically writing off almost 50000!
1. It's almost 11am eastern time and there is only one response to TTT.
2. Is there a secret party that I was not invited to going on somewhere else?? It doesn't seem to be on the-boards-that-shall-not-be-named or on fb....
3. IUI number 5: check.
4. The doctor stayed in the room for like five minutes afterwards and seemed to want to discuss next steps if this doesn't work. I felt like I was supposed to take advantage of this since we almost never see "our" doctor, but that was really really not the moments to talk about next steps. If this is BFN I'll probably reject shutting the conversation down.
5. We turned our kitchen into a fake "porch" - aka camping chairs, a cooler, and some cat grass set up where the dining room table goes. Think we want to move to the real suburbs?
6. Realistically we can't move for however long it takes to TTC + 9 months + 2 maternity leaves + job hunting. Probably + another Master's degree for me. And that's f-ing depressing.
7. New England in 2015 or bust! Apparently we have to plan on the same time scale as the next Olympics location.
8. My train tour last weekend was fun. Quirky gifts for the win, but too bad so much fun stuff is expensive.
9. One of my workers called in sick today, the day before she's on vacation for 4 days. Sketchy much?
10. I like that it's flip flop weather.
IVF Oct/Nov 2012
Beta #1 = 77, Beta #2 = 190, Beta #3 = 1044
Cautiously optimistic.
I can only get it up for like three things Tuesday:
1. Witnessing the whole GBCN exodus has been tons of fun. There are some very funny women involved.
2. We're coming up on ICI #3 this weekend. Probably our last at-home attempt (for the June cycle, should it get to that, we're hooking up with a repro specialist to do in-office IUI)
3. The nice thing about being a lesbian is that no one yells at you for seeing a RE. If you do that on the straight boards before a full year of failed attempts, someone will yell "YOU'RE TAKING ALL OF THE APPOINTMENTS AWAY FROM WOMEN WHO NEED THEM"
If you say it too loud they'll yell at you too.
IVF Oct/Nov 2012
Beta #1 = 77, Beta #2 = 190, Beta #3 = 1044
Cautiously optimistic.
1. We have sugar ants everywhere in the house. And fleas are starting to show up. I love this time of year but not the bugs.
2. We bought new diapers yesterday, some BumGenius and a couple Kawaii Goodnight Heavy Wetters. The Kawaii is the first diaper Apple has been able to wear all night and not wet through, I AM IN LOVE.
3. We also got Apple a raw amber teething necklace and Sophie the Giraffe, we are at the point where we will try anything to calm the constant crying.
4. I bought supplies to make fried chicken for dinner but I may end up asking J to grill if it's too hot.
5. Owl can say all done, pee pee, ball, and bye bye. I wish she would say them on her own without us asking though.
6. I REALLY need the Love and Logic book.
7. A has 2.5 weeks of school left!
8. My mom is engaged and I am so happy for her, it looks like she finally found a good guy.
9. If J wants to adopt 2 boys, she better start helping with the kids and house otherwise I'm not moving forward.
10. I'm ready for our vacation to Tahoe.
Two Mommies Healing Hearts
1. Why can't people RSVP? We sent out invites to the boys' birthday party 2 weeks ago and as of last night got 5 (out of 18) replies. Last night I sent out a reminder e-mail/making sure that people got the invites since they were sent home in the kids' homework folders and only got 1 more person. Sigh.
2. We have so much to do before this weekend. I have no idea how we are going to get it all done.
3. The kids' t-ball games have been rained out twice now. And they are missing the one on Friday because of their birthday.
4. My dad is coming into town this weekend. Wish us all luck.
5. I am covering a co-worker in another unit and told her that the one area I know nothing about on her unit is XYZ. She assured me that it wouldn't come up because she had per-screened all of the patients. Guess what came up this morning? Yup. And now I look incompetent. Great.
6. I really want a milkshake. Chocolate mint, please.
7. L is going to meet someone from this board for a dissertation interview and doesn't seem to be squicked out that she is meeting one of my "internet" friends.
Probably helps that I met this person and can verify that she is not really a 60 year old man. 
8. I heard a rumor that we are getting free lunch. I hope that it true. I am starving.
I need to do 9 and 10 later....It does seem to be a little slow around here lately. Where is everybody?
AMH 0.5, AFC 5-8, FSH 7ish
IVF #1 - antagonist. Empty follicle syndrome. 1 retrieved, 0 fertilized.
IVF #2 - antagonist. Ovulated early. 3 retrieved, 2 fertilized, 0 blasts
1. I should be working. I have so much to do but am VERY unmotivated. It doesn't help that our meeting this afternoon was canceled so I have from 2pm to 4:30 to do work.
2. S really screwed up this weekend and I am still pissed about it. She seems to think I should be ok because she apologized and feels bad. Sorry it just doesn't work that way.
3. I have to get a ton of stuff together for S's party on Sat and I don't want to to do is since I am still pissed at her and all.
4. I only have 3 mondays left until school is done!
5. S has not applied for any jobs yet. I want to scream what the f is your problem but am instead just letting it be.
6. My mantra is this too shall pass but I am getting concerned that it will not.
7. I think we need to go to marriage counseling.
8. I can't belive it has come to this.
9. These past 3 years have kind of sucked.
10. I am ready for my wife to join the land of the working normally functioning people. I am sick of it is all about her right now. She needs to get over herself.
1. Today is Mel's first day back at work, and also her first day of a new job.
2. Therefore, this is my first full day of watching the babies alone.
3. We planned to go to bed last night around 8:30-9 after a feeding (Rather than 11:00-12:00), so that she could stand a chance at getting 6-7 hours of sleep.
4. The babies had a different plan. Rather than sleeping after the 8:30 feeding, like they usually do, they stayed up for 2 1/2 hours and finally fell asleep around 11:00ish. I was really nervous, because I thought that as soon as I closed my eyes they would be waking us (me) up to feed again.
5. To my surprise, they didn't wake us up until 4:30. Not sure how they managed that. But after all the chaos, Mel got 5 hrs of sleep. So it was nice.
6. I don't know what to make for dinner. I'd really like to make steaks, but we don't have any...
7. I'm sad that there are so many things I intended to do before returning to work, and some of them didn't get done. Where did that time go?
8. We've decided that Mel should give up pumping. She's been battling a supply and demand issue for 3 months, and when you spend all that time pumping, but don't get very much, it's frustrating. At this point, we'll pump 2 more weeks so they had the BM 3 months and be done.
9. She feels disappointed, but I'm proud of her. She was at a disadvantage with them being born early. They were too small to really successfully breast feed at birth and once they got used to the bottles in the hospital, BFing wasn't really happening. Since pumping isn't the same as feeding (plus there being two babies) her supply couldn't keep up.
10. With that said, I hope we get a decent amount for our pump, since it was $400 plus we have 4 sets of pump parts and tons of the bottles.
1. The new job is good so far. Definitely still need to find my footing, but I'm getting there.
2. I have spent WAY too much money this week on all the things I had been putting off until I got a job.
3. But now I have some cute work clothes, a spring jacket just in time for the weather to be in the 80s, and an up to date glasses Rx.
4. One of the labs my doctor's office uses is out of network for my insurance plan. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be on the hook for a $400 bill and I'm not pleased.
5. I walked home from work yesterday and it was wonderful. It's exactly two miles, so not a bad way to fit in a little physical activity.
6. C's gone this week at a conference and I really miss her.
7. C talked to her mom on Sunday and her mom seemed to regret the "we can't support you" conversation that took place. Apparently their pastor told them "well, you've told her how you feel, now it's your job to be a parent". I am so thankful to hear their pastor preaching God's grace.
8. Next week I go to Washington (state) for a music festival. It's an "I have to do this one more time before we become parents" trip. I'm pretty psyched.
9. The allergy elimination diet totally isn't that bad, to the point that I've been hesitant to reintroduce foods. I'm starting today though, with a food I'm pretty sure should be fine - lemons!
10. If I'm allergic/sensitive to lemons, I'm going to be really sad.
AMH 0.5, AFC 5-8, FSH 7ish
IVF #1 - antagonist. Empty follicle syndrome. 1 retrieved, 0 fertilized.
IVF #2 - antagonist. Ovulated early. 3 retrieved, 2 fertilized, 0 blasts
1. I'm doing two self-care polar opposites today, acupuncture in the AM, dentist in the PM
2. I officially had a negative Beta, as I'd been suspecting since starting to bleed on Thursday last week.
3. Good news is Dr. said "go ahead and try again" without needing an intervening office visit- so, we're taking this cycle off because I can't very well stick needles into my own thighs (go ahead, try it) and I'll be out of town on Business trips for about 10 days when I'd need to be getting jabbed.
4. My partner came home yesterday and brought me 1 pint of Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Brownie Fro-yo (way to sabotage low glycemic index eating) and also brought me a non-Pandora charm for my Pandora bracelet. While both things were ultimately really really sweet and loving it was just that weird offness.
5. Randomly cried pretty much whenever I wanted yesterday because I was saddened about our failed IUI.
6. Smartphone email for my job has been down since last week. It's making working mobile-y a PITA.
7. I'm looking forward to the weekend- going to a workshop on Friday, and dinner with friends on Saturday.
8. Why don't I just buy a yearly pass to my yoga studio? Monthy passes wind up costing $1308, a yearly pass is $500.00. Maybe when I get summer salary for extra work I'll buy that.
9. It's rainy. And gross. And I don't want to go to the dentist.
10. Bonus of not being pregnant? Caffeine.
I feel like many doctors have 0 social skills. And don't quite understand why that conversation wasn't appropriate at that moment. Good luck!
1. HUGE headache today. I think its allergy related, since I'm off of my antihistamine.
2. My nose bled a little bit this morning, I managed to convince myself that it could be an early pregnancy sign. I know it can be, but realistically, when you are struggling with allergies, and blowing your nose all day, its just as likely to be the allergies.
3. I had THE BEST steak ever last night. It was from Vitamin Cottage and the brand was Heartland Meadows. Lovely, lovely, lovely. I followed it up with Ice cream. Not like my normally 'two or three veggie sides' conscious me.
4. I am wearing pretty dainty sandalls, but my heels need some work. Pedi coming up!
5. I don't want to go into a nail spa and inhale all the rubbish in case I am 'with child'
6. Augh, head is pounding.
7. It is only 10:48 here and I am starving! I think an early lunch is in order.
8. Last night I cleared out the spare room and found a few things for our friend's charity garage sale this weekend. Look for Berlyn's Journey for Justice on Facebook. Interesting story. Our friend, a woman, filed for paternity and was granted it. Long and interesting story that is changing laws in our state and could affect lesbians and parental rights in more.
9. I wonder if I am knocked up.
10. Is it Friday yet?
You know where you can find me if you want to chat. I can relate to much of this.
Ditto.
Lots of rough times going on this week, I'm sorry. Board hugs!
Also I wanted to say that I don't think this is the kind of board that would ever have some members leave and re-settle somewhere else without telling everyone and inviting them to come. We're not too cliquey in these parts
1) This is my first TTT as a mom. Woot!
2) M sounds very angry and offended when she cries; H sounds very, very sad. The faces they make when they really get going are hilarious.
3) Also hilarious: the reflexes. Those little arms and legs are just out of control when they aren't swaddled! Poor things.
4) Sometimes this feels quite a bit easier than I expected it to. Sometimes it feels really hard.
5) I am struggling with feeling guilty for not enjoying every moment. I know that's stupid; kids are hard and no parent honestly enjoys every moment. Jen is, for the most part, her usual upbeat self, and then I feel guilty that she's doing better than me when she is the one recovering from a C-section.
6) I don't want to wish away any moment of this cuddly newborn time. That said, it scares me how floppy and tiny and delicate they are right now, and I will feel better/safer when they're a bit more robust.
7) The feeding is intense. Between breastfeeding, supplement finger-feeding and pumping, it takes 60-75 minutes each time and we're doing it 8x a day. I'm hoping we can end the supplementing soon.
8) I tried one of the two newborn-sized cloth diapers I bought on H - who do they make these giant diapers for? I think it will be a while before we get into the one-size cloth. A friend of a friend gave us tons of newborn disposables her kids had outgrown, so we're using those up.
9) We've gotten chocolate covered strawberries from four different people. It's like our friends know us or something
10) I dyed my hair red since I never see anyone but family and Target cashiers; it seemed like a good time to take a hair risk. It turned out barely noticeable, but I still like it.
1. Hellooooo there ladies!!! I missed you all while we were on vacation last week...lots to catch up on here. I'm sorry to hear about the rough times some of you are having...sending hugs your way...
2. E crawled in bed with me around midnight because she "couldn't sleep". And then she fell out of my bed around 2 something and I had to settle her again. Poor babe. And mommy is now exhausted too.
3. That babe turns 6 on Saturday. I can't believe it. She is such a big girl now.
4. E's dad said he wanted to order the cake for her party with her friends that will be on Sunday. When I talked to him last night he said he hadn't ordered it yet but "oh, it only takes them an hour to put one together". Um...ok. Please don't fail this one simple task that you volunteered to do.
5. I need to find some recipes for fun sandwiches for E's party. Anyone have ideas/suggestions?
6. K and I had a fantastic time in Cancun. We saw two different Mayan ruin sites, swam with dolphins and visited Isla Mujeres (Island of Women). I am so glad we were able to take this trip together, it was a much needed break.
7. On Sunday evening E and I baked cookies and took thank you cards to the two neighbors who gave us welcoming gifts. They both seemed surprised and I like to think that we are going to establish good relationships with them.
8. My folks were here for the weekend and my dad commented to me again about how nice K seems and he asked about how she and E get along and if she's wanted kids, her previous relationships, etc. I think based on the things I've said to him recently he knows I'm serious about her and our future. It made my weekend for him to show genuine interest in us.
9. There is so much unpacking to do but it really has to wait for the weekends...the nights with E go by far too quickly with dinner, homework, bath...and this week getting party favors, etc.
10. K and I bought matching silver rings in Cancun. Nooo we're not married, yet. I told her it's as a promise of what is to come. But we did have some fun sending a pic to friends who teased us before we went that we were going to get married while we were there!!!
Ditto x 2. And my wife is also *trying* to reenter the workforce- incredibly frustrating. And we are in therapy so let me know if you want support.
1. I am confused as to where I am supposed to be posting. I need guidelines, people!
2. I am finding it odd to deal with the idea of pregnancy and having children from the lesbian side of life. Having another woman involved means I do not get to make all decisions regarding purchases for baby items. Rationally, I understand this, but apparently my emotions do not agree.
3. Pursuant to the above, I am going back to therapy.
4. Today is beautiful, and my soul wants to be outside. But nothing will get done if I am out there instead of in here.
5. We need to buy a new mattress. While not particularly old, we wake up sleeping on top of each other thanks to it caving in. It's uncomfortable.
6. Peanut oil is not as easily obtainable as I assumed it would be.
7. I need a new pair of shoes but don't want to go out to find one. Why can't online shopping provide you with accurate measurements?
How many kids would that add up to? Five?
You are brave. No, really. I wonder if I will go nuts with one (possibly two depending on my body), but five? Impressive.
((hugs)) I know its not something any couple wants to do, but there is no shame in going to counseling. We've done it - and it helped a lot. Let me know if you ever want to chat.
Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms



Sorry SSG, hope things improve soon. :-(
1. My lunch is not that healthy. I'm not even done eating it and I already feel a little guilty.
2. I'm trying to not spend money on lunches out though, and this is what was leftover in the work fridge.
3. Too much red meat already this week! Chicken for dinner tonight, and maybe I'll do tomorrow "meat-less."
4. (Um, this wasn't supposed to be all about food. Sorry!)
5. Jury Duty yesterday, so I have a bunch to catch up on. I got a good amount done, but I can feel my drive fading!
6. Maybe I should take a walk to pep myself up. It looks like its finally clearing up!
7. Never got out for that walk, but somehow 3 hours just flew by without me getting that much done. ::sigh::
8. Lately mornings with Gwen have been so much easier. Some mornings it means I just get her dressed and hurry through my shower a bit, but this morning she let Trav get her all dressed with no fussing!
9. Sitting in my purse right now is a book on weaning, not sure how I feel about that!
10. I've only had a glass of milk and a hot chocolate to drink today! Running off to chug a ton of water.
Maybe I don't have a heightened sense of smell, but I've never smelled any vagina on my pants. -- TSD
Bloggity Blog - You know you want to...
1. Oh vey... is it June 8th yet these students are crazy.
2. AF is making me nuts. After 8 years of living together DW and I are synching up and my cycle was 27 days this month. I wish DW would spring a leak already though because hopefully this will be her last one for a while. We start trying again in June.
3. We are officially switching donors. Our 1st guy had good number but gave us 3 BFNs so we are selling back last couple vials of him we have and picked a donor we liked even more.
4. I just had some Starbucks...ahhhhhhhh
5. I have been subbing so much lately. I think teachers are just DONE!!!!
6. I bought a couple pairs of new shorts from American Eagle and it just reaffirmed even more how happy I am that I had gastric Bypass.
7. I am 9 days away from my two year "surgiversary" and still 225 lbs down depending. Plus the doctor estimates I need about 40 lbs of extra skin removed so 265 sounds good to me.
8. I need to have the skin removed but I am A. afraid of it, supposedly super painful B. my insurance is refusing it because I am too "clean" C. Want a baby way more than I want 4 feet of incisions right now so our money is going there instead of pay out of pocket.
9. If we can manage to get these IUIs covered I may have the surgery
10. Ahhhhh coffeee!!!!
That would be 6 kids, our (and our states) limit. I want 6 but not if I continue to single handedly parent them and be the bad guy while J comes home and does nothing but create more work for me and gets to enjoy the kids throwing themselves at her like she is a god.
Two Mommies Healing Hearts
1. Hugs hugs hugs.
2. I bought a sling for pumpkin at a resale shop today. It was kind of an impulse buy, but he seemed to liek it for the rest of our errands.
3. I said I was going Paleo this week--then had a big diet coke.
4. We may have someone who is going to give us a backyard swing set (wooden kind with a sandbox!) I just have to figure out a way to transport it... and re set it up. Yikes!
5. I am sad House is ending. I want the last episode to just be a big road trip.
6. I really really want a pot rack. Why are they so expensive?
7. Why is my kitchen so small?
8. It's wonderful that the girls' foster families want to start sending stuff for them now.... but I have NO ROOM. Can't they just wait until our tenant is gone? I hate the idea of them bringing stuff over, & just sitting in boxes/bags, but really, where am I supposed to put it?
9. Made this coconut chicken, gluten-free/paleo with coconut flour. Awesome.
These cookies--super easy & the kids liked em, too.
10. Off for a walk in the sunshine with my peanut
1. I should get my first positive OPK of this cycle today or tomorrow! That means another insemination tomorrow or Thursday!
2. J was cranky all weekend and we got into a huge fight on Sunday. I'm chalking it up to PMS and stress.
3. All of her stress is work related. She's still unsure if she's going to get the promotion that everyone is telling her she deserves (her direct manager, district manager and regional manager included). There is also no real timeline as to when we will know wether or not she'll be getting it.
4. I found some really awesome recipes on pinterest for fried rice and bourbon chicken that I'm making this week! I'm incredibly excited to try them!
5. As for tonight, I'm making pepperoni rolls!
6. We're starting to look for a new apartment. We really want to stay in our current neighborhood, but I'm not finding many places that allow dogs. I wish I could ask if it matters that my cat is bigger than my dog, lol.
7. I wish I knew about #3. It would really help with knowing what kind of rent I should be looking for...
8. I've started clipping coupons but still have nowhere near the amount to be considered a couponer.
9. We never got to go on our movie date last week and that makes me sad. I really want a nice date night, so I think we're going to try for one next week.
10. My brother and I still aren't talking. I think I'm finally going to shoot him a text today to see if he's willing to talk through this. I hope he has cooled off.
Im sorry to those that are having a rough week
Internet hugs to you!
*DS 6/28/2013*
I remember the "I can't believe it has come to this" feeling well. I felt like I had failed because we needed counseling. But like everyone else said, there's no shame in going, and for us it really helped. We would absolutely go again if we got to a point where we felt we weren't making progress working things out on our own.
AMH 0.5, AFC 5-8, FSH 7ish
IVF #1 - antagonist. Empty follicle syndrome. 1 retrieved, 0 fertilized.
IVF #2 - antagonist. Ovulated early. 3 retrieved, 2 fertilized, 0 blasts
Yay its still Tuesday on the West Coast. I just got around to the Bump now, with the exception of an earlier peek - my new work internet browser sucks.
1. It's late and I should be going to bed after taking my handful of prenatals and other pregnancy vitamins (I hate swallowing pills so its always a dreaded event).
2. My dogs are laying quietly on the floor because EV took them to the park - love her.
3. Tomorrow we get to visit our house again - so excited, I'm taking a measuring tape and a camera.
4. I've been dreaming about living in the house and already feel like I know what it "feels" like to live there.. Which is weird but cool.
5. Driving to work this morning I realized how little I care about it. It's really sad. I just can't seem to focus and "bring it". I'm glad I'm already training my replacement.
6. Stayed up late last night talking with EV about life changes - particularly for her. She feels a little trapped I think - in her job, by being the person buying this house, just all the "adult stuff" going on.
7. Today we started researching a great local gym, health (and fitness) is starting to be important again. I will admit this took a back burner these past 8 months +. Now I'm starting to realize that once Kaden gets here I want to get back in shape.
8. Yay salads taste good again. So grateful, I feel like I've been living on ice cream and carbs this whole pregnancy. (Not really - but close). :-)
9. About 3 weeks to pack the house and I am severely under motivated....
10. Also I have this crazy sacroiliac joint pain, it's depressing because I can't even take the dogs out
I'm hoping the Chiropractor visits will help...
Six! Yes, you are clearly much more of a superhero than I. I think I'd be about to kill someone if I were in your shoes. One's partner has to actually step the heck up if they agreed to having the kids in the first place. Being the bad guy to your kids is the worst.
I often worry that the neurosis of my wife is going to make having children impossible. For example, she informed me yesterday that if we were to have a daughter, I have to change all the diapers. HMMMM. No.
1. SSG, I can offer an ear *and* a beer. Sorry you are going through a tough time..
2. I cried last night.
3. I have an initial consult with an RE next Thursday. YAY!
4. But then I realized I took clomid when I got pregnant with N. And then I realized We only have 10 vials of of our donor, who is retired. So if we want to have siblings (and more than 2) we have to go all in. Which means clomid again. Which means I would have to stop breastfeeding.
5. See #2. I never thought I would stop this early
I love breastfeeding. I am so sad. I thought I could just slow down until AF comes back and then BF all through my pregnancy.
6. But I am 35 and there aren't many years left in this ol gal. It's kind of time to s*it or get off the pot. So if we want to get a sibling (or more) it's time to move.
7. My new mantra - a sibling is more important than EBF. But every time I nurse, I want to cry.
8. The house we want is interested in our offer!!! YAY!!! But they don't want to get involved in a contingency agreement (so we have to have our house under agreement before they accept). ARHG. But a couple came by last weekend and totally fell in love with our house!! But they have to have their condo under agreement first. ARHG. What a cluster f*ck.
9. Talk about a stalemate.
10. I don't know what the actual definition of 'stalemate' is. But it sounded appropriate.