Father's Day ....

HisChamaoleGirl · May 2012

Yes its a bit early to be thinking about it, but I have a question and I figured I would ask before I forget.

This Father's Day we wont be with SS and DH and I dont have any bio children of our own. If you are in this situation do you still celebrate the holiday? I feel like if I try and do something it will just remind DH he isnt with his son and will bum him out, but I dont want to disregard the holiday as a whole. Thoughts?

jnjmommy0609 · May 2012

Haha yep this is the time I start planning. I am not organized enough to plan anything a week before. If I do that then NOTHING happens. So I generally start planning about now so that something fun actually happens for my husband.

My thoughts is ask your husband. Chances are he knows what he wants. Explain to him that he deserves a fathers day but you don't want to upset him.

Holly_1007 · May 2012

honestly, fathers day is when your SS should be doing something with his father. if that doesn't work out with your visitation schedule then you should make sure that you take SS to get a gift/ card to give to him on the visitation before.

maybe you and your husband can plan a special date night or something for fathers day. don't make it an elaborate fathers day celebration, but something nice for the two of you and to make him feel special

Wahoo · May 2012

I would plan your father's day "celebration" on a day when SS is around.

I agree that you should ask DH about what he wants to do that day. I would treat him special in general, b/c he is still a father, whether or not he spends that day with SS, but if he wants to keep it low-key, follow his lead.

HisChamaoleGirl · May 2012

Wahoo:

I would plan your father's day "celebration" on a day when SS is around.

The only problem with that is the next scheduled time with SS is next summer which is closer to next Father's Day. With out move across the country starting this weekend I dont see any unscheduled visits happening anytime soon.

HisChamaoleGirl · May 2012

wendilea:

Is there any chance you can get together with SS before Father's Day and get a card for him to give to DH, maybe arrange a Skype or special phone call for that day? I know you're dealing with BSC BM, so I'm not sure if she'll be difficult just for the sake of being difficult. This is the first Father's Day since being granted visitation that DH wont be with SS so hopefully I can get BM on board with having SS call DH on the day of. I may even hint at sending him a card or something but I hope it doesnt backfire in some sort of blow up from her.

If nothing else, I'd get him a card from you and maybe do a meal of his choice. Something to acknowledge you know he's a great dad. I do like this suggestion. DH is a good dad and I can tell it kills him that he cant be with SS more than he is. Showing him I notice how great he is in his role may be just the thing to brighten his day. Thank you!

MarSamWhitney · May 2012

I agree w/ PP about celebrating it on a day when your SS is there. Even on the years we dont have SS, I still try to do something special for DH. In the end, he is still a dad and deserves to be treated wonderfully, whether the kids are with us or not. Good Luck!

InfinityDreamer · May 2012

Perhaps you could get in contact with SS and discuss it with him (depending how old he is?).

Maybe you two could work something out so that SS is able to Skype with your DH on Father's Day or help him come up with gift or card ideas and then SS could either mail a card or you could order something online to be delivered to DH with a shipping note from SS.

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Father's Day ....

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