- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
TTC After a Loss
Spruce14
member
Not only was mothers day terrible... (long, sorry)
Spruce14
member
But so was Saturday! Sorry this is a long pity party--but i have to let it out. I hope you girls don't mind.
DH and I were in a wedding on Saturday, one which i have spoken about here a number of times (two pregnant bridesmaids, one who didn't want children.) I thought the bridesmaids would be an issue, they were actually fine and didn't speak at all about their babies. Of course, it can't be that easy. In the limo one of the groomsmen who we used to be friends with in HS and is a cousin of the groom made a comment about a scratch on DH's face. He said "wow spruce, what did you do to him" I jokingly said "oh, you know i beat him up every now and then when he misbehaves" he followed with "listen spruce, you will get your baby when you get your baby, no need to be vicious" Yes, i think that deserves to be bold. Nobody knows we're trying but this does not make this ok. I told him to go fluck himself then distracted myself by playing on my phone while fighting back tears. DH was also furious and tried to talk to me about something else.
Cut to the reception. We're at the table with friends and someone brings up babies. Here it goes, 4 people all at the same time with the following comments "when the hell are you guys gonna have a kid- you're totally next-you've only been together for 12 years, its about time- we're waiting- seriously spruce get this baby ball rolling - you got married first and A&L already beat you to it" HOLY SH*T BALLS. I tried my best to deflect and change the subject while pretending to laugh. Nobody knows we're trying in DH's group of friends...i almost just blurted it out but it wasn't the right place or time. I left the table a little later and had a pity party in the bridal suite where i cried my eyes out then re-applied mascara. One of the bridesmaids who i just met from this wedding came to find me. I had already finished crying and told her i just needed a minute to rest my feet. She said "I know we don't know each other well, but I can tell that every time someone mentions babies you smile and brush it off but i can see that you're sad. I hope im not out of line and you don't have to say anything but my guess is that you're trying and it's just not that flucking easy and everyone just needs to use their flucking brains and shut the fluck up about it." Smart girl. I told her she was right and didn't elaborate at all. She hugged me and told me she would not tell anyone... although i don't care if she does at this point. Someone has a brain here...
Next day is mothers day...oh joy. Not one person acknowledges me. Not even DH. I didn't say a word to him about this day and I wanted him to think of it on his own so badly...nada. I saw my mil, mom, and sil with her new baby and not one person said a freaking word. YOU ALL FAIL!
Since i O'd yesterday I didn't say anything to DH about it since I know he would have used the "we have been so busy" excuse which is true but what the hell does it take to get a card, really. I just wanted to keep my mouth shut and BD without any possibility of ruining that chance. I laid in bed after BD and DH passed out... I was thinking about how nobody remembered me at all. About 10 minutes later my little sister texted me to call her... it was midnight and she was in california on vacation so we didn't see each other.
I called her and she said "hi shishie (thats what we call each other) i just wanted to see if you're ok... i know this day sucked balls for you and i've been thinking about you all day" Cue hysterics. I could not stop crying... I love my sister so much. I talked to her for a while and we decided we need to take a little sisters vacation soon. When we got off the phone we texted a little- i couldn't get the words out on the phone. I told her how much it meant to me that she thought of me today. I cried and cried for another half hour laying with my legs on my headboard (stupid i know but i did it when i got KU and i can't stop myself)
Today i feel blah... all i want to do is curl up in bed and watch tv...and i work till 9. GRRR!
On the bright side...i think I did finally O yesterday and if i did, then our timing was great. I hope those temps stay up!
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Not only was mothers day terrible... (long, sorry)
People. suck. balls.
Except your sister. Love her!
Seriously, I think i would have went off the deep end like a crazy person at the reception. I give you so much credit for holding yourself together.
((huge hugs))
Oh, Spruce, I'm so sorry, sweetie. What a flucking terrible weekend. I hate that your heart has to hurt like that. People are such idiots sometimes, and it sounds like you were in the middle of an idiot convention at that wedding. Thank heaven for that kind bridesmaid and your sweet sister who proved that there are some people with a working brain and heart! Yesterday was miserable for me, too, and while I wasn't expecting a parade in my honor or anything, it sure would have been nice if DH, or my mom, or someone IRL would have acknowledged that yesterday was really rough for me. I hadn't felt that alone since waking up by myself at the hospital after the D&C, before they let anyone back to see me.
But, FX that your timing was perfect this cycle! I hope the work day goes by fast for you! giant ((hugs))
"there is no foot so small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world"
BFP #2 2.27.13 EDD 11.8.13 Grow, baby, grow!
My Ovulation Chart
~ all ALers welcome ~
Thanks darling. I missed you also!
That is exactly what i felt... i didn't need gifts or anything like that. Just those simple words like my sister said were more than enough. I am most disappointed in DH.
Ugh, what a super rough weekend. But thank God for sisters- I don't know what I would do without mine.
And good to know that there are some people in the world who get it- way to go bridesmaid girl.
I honestly don't think that most DHs get it. That isn't a defense or an excuse but I do think it's true. I'm not sure my DH would have know to say anything if I hadn't cried...twice...
((Hugs))
BFP#1 11/12/11 ~ No heartbeat 12/12/11 ~ D&C 12/19/11
BFP#2 3/25/12 ~ Heartbeat 141 4/16/12 ~ No heartbeat 4/25/12 ~ D&C 04/30/12
BFP#3 7/16/12 ~ EDD 3/26/13 ~ It's a BOY ~ DOB 2/26/13
I heart your sister. She sounds amazing, caring, and wonderful. I also heart the bridesmaid who went out of her way to make sure you were OK and give you that support. She also sounds like a great person. Most people would just stay away, especialy if they don't know you. She rocks!
I don't heart all those people at the wedding....as I've said before, who's business is it but yours about when/if you have children?! Some people really just don't get it.
TTC since April 2010
BFP #1 – March 2011, missed m/c April 2011
BFP #2 – October 2011, m/c November 2011
Surprise BFP #3 – December 2011, diagnosed as cornual, terminated January 2012
BFP #4 – June 2012, m/c July 2012
Diagnosed with bicornuate ute and MTHR gene mutation
BFP #5 – October 2012, missed m/c November 2012
BFP #6 – January 2013, m/c March 2013
No longer TTC. Diagnosis: Hostile ute. Heartbroken and bitter. Pursuing surrogacy.
June 2013 - Carrier found! Could this really happen?!
~All AL always welcome~
BFP #2, 12/12/11, m/c 12/25/11
BFP #3, 3/09/12, CP 3/10/12
BFP #4, 7/22/12, DD#2 born 4/2013
BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence
Lots and lots and lots of hugs to you!
Everybody sucks except your sister who I think is a rockstar!
You will have that rainbow baby soon! along with me, and everyone else here. I just know these rainbow babies are coming really really soon!
נשמה שבאה לעולם למספר חודשים לשהות במעי האם, היא נשמת צדיק גמור שבאה לעולם רק לתקן פגם קטן ולאחר מספר חודשים אלו היא שבה למקומה לגן עדן להתענג על ה'. לעתיד לבוא נשמה זו תוכר באחד מבנייך ובזכות נשמת צדיק זה תזכי להיות במחיצת צדיקים
TTC Since September 2011
BFP#1:Dec.1.11 EDD:Aug.09.12 MC:Jan.11.12 (9WK5D)-Natural
BFP#2:Apr.18.12 EDD:Dec.21.12 MC:May.1.12 (6WK3D)-D&C
BFP#3:Sep.12.12 - Suspected CP | BFP#4:Dec.1.12 - Suspected CP
BFP#5: Dec.26.12 EDD:Sep.10.13 MC:Jan.7.13 (4WK6D)-Natural
BFP#6: Jun.11.13 EDD:Feb.23.13 Beta: #1=8000 #2=24532 US@6wk2d showed 7wk2d size with 143BPM HR * NT US@12wk6d looked good. A/S passed with flying colors and our team color is Blue! *Grow my little Pamplemousse*!!!
BFP #2 8/22/12 | EDD 5/5/13 | DS1 born 5/9/13
BFP #3 4/25/15 | EDD 1/7/16 | MMC 7/2/15 @ 13w1d | D&E 7/8/15
BFP #4 12/9/15 | EDD 8/22/16 | DS2 born 5/18/16 at 26w2d
Just keep swimming.
I'm so sorry you had such a rough weekend, I'm glad at least you had 2 people in your corner to try and counteract all of the idiot wedding guests.
I hope you get your BFP this cycle, (( hugs))
OMG, that wedding! I would have lost my mind. I am so, so sorry you had to endure so many stupid comments. I'm glad the nice bridesmaid was wise to your situation. Do you think she's struggled with infertility?
Your sister is wonderful. My sister was the only person who acknowledged that Mother's Day would be hard for me. Yay for sisters!
Hoping happier days are ahead. ((hugs))
Yes, YAY for sisters!!!
Actually, the bridesmaid is not married or in a serious relationship- she's a few years younger than me and she is still in the dating and partying phase of life. So I know she didn't struggle, but maybe someone she knows did. It was extra surprising coming from her because she would be the last person i would think would say something! I was thankful for her that night.
What a horrible weekend. People need to seriously mind their own business, that guy sounds like a huge a-hole and needs to be punched in the face. Your sister sounds amazing and I am so glad she called you.
I have everything crossed for you hoping those temps stay up! Huge hugs!
TTC Since Summer 2011
BFP #1 11/5/11 EDD 7/22/12 MC 11/14/11
PGAL/PAL Always Welcome
Yay for your sissy (and the nice bridesmaid) for being a ray of sunshine in an otherwise craptastic weekend!
Fx for high temps!!!
{{HUGS}} {{HUGS}} {{HUGS}} I didn't realize it was that bad for you this weekend. I was so happy when you mentioned your sister calling. That was so sweet. But sorry you had to deal with all the comments at the wedding and thankfully someone there saw what it was doing to you.