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June 2011 Moms
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Add me to the mothers day pity party

LaRue86LaRue86
in June 2011 Moms

My relationship with my mom has been going down hill. She tends to have emotional breakdowns anytime something major is going on in my life (marriage, baby, etc). My DH has pointed out that she likes to be the center of attention.

Her birthday fell on easter and she through a fit because we didnt plan to spend the whole entire day with her. I told her that was an unrealistic expectation as we would be going to our church and with nap times it just wasnt feasible. She told us not to come over at all then. I told her she was acting like a child, and well that just made her through a tantrum. 

Last weekend we brought up Mothers day and my parents said they were hoping we could do Saturday. We said fine. The way they were discussing it made it seem like it was going to be my Mom's mother's day, rather than celebrating both mothers. I really hoped that I was wrong, but didnt want to get my hopes up. Over the course of the week my dad called to make sure I was planning mothers day. I took it in stride and as much as I wanted to say, well it is my day too and mom is no longer the only mother, I didnt. I guess my brother asked if we had to get separate gifts since we still hadnt given her birthday gifts and she said, absolutely, 2 different events, 2 separate gifts. It bothered me because the gift grabiness is ridiculous.

Anyway we went Saturday night and celebrated mothers day, except it was my moms mothers day, not mine. She even made a point to say that. There was no recognition that it was my first mothers day at all. I was really hurt. To top it off, they didnt even call yesterday. So here my mom throws a fit over gifts and they cant even say Happy Mother's Day to me...

Thankfully DH was great, but it still hurt to watch my mother treat me like such crap. Unfortunately our relationship is only going to become more and more distant. I told my DH that we wont be recognizing Mother's/ Father's day because I refuse to have our Children witness the craptastic treatment.  Vent Over...

 

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Re: Add me to the mothers day pity party

  • susieandmartysusieandmarty member
    i would be very upset and frustrated.  i really hope that this did not ruin your first mother's day and that you still had an amazing time.  I probably would not call my mother for a long while after that

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  • M&M227M&M227

    Aw I'm sorry, my mom and I have a weird relationship as well.  She called me Saturday to wish me a happy Mother's day and I did the same.  My dad was yelling in the background, lol.  Yesterday my dad called me to wish me a Happy Mother's day and I thanked him.  I texted my mom yesterday Happy Mother's day and she didn't respond but that's not abnormal.  My dad called me to today to lecture me that I didn't call my mom yesterday....   I didn't realize I needed to wish her a happy mothers day over the phone twice...

    Sorry your mom is like that, I would do my best to not be a part of that. 

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  • vigurlvigurl member
    I'm sorry your mom is so difficult and that you had to deal with that on your first mothers day.
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  • DramaMama06DramaMama06

    i'm so sorry. my mom didn't even bother to let me know that they weren't coming out for mother's day lunch. she wasnt feeling well...

    sucks when we have to be the parents for our parents...

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  • rlmanningrlmanning member
    I am so sorry that your mom is so selfish! I hope your DH made up for it for you! Hugs to you momma! And Happy Mothers Days!

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  • milescmilesc member

    Have you brought  this to her attention? Especially if your relationship is just becoming more and more distant- id be sure to let her know WHY it was heading that way.

    I am so sorry... I can't imagine my own mother treating me like that. Glad to hear your DH stepped up, and Happy FIRST Mothers day to you. I hope you enjoyed your day despite your moms actions. 

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  • bestmaid6bestmaid6

    I'm sorry your mom is acting like that. You'd think she would be thrilled to celebrate WITH you, not just have people fawn over her.

    I sincerely hope her behavior will change in the future.

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  • amypogg6amypogg6 member
    I completely agree that your mom is out of line.  I think she is jealous of your life.  If I were you, I would make a point to tell her and your dad that what she is doing is wrong (pointing out specifics), and tell them that you won't be celebrating special days with them anymore unless this changes 100%.  Good Luck... And, Happy Mother's Day.
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  • LaRue86LaRue86

    Thank you for all the support ladies! I feel like the crazy person because my dad wants to avoid her wrath and stands by her, but will apologize to me on the side later.

    Her last blow up was on Easter. I told her that she treats me like a little kid and I am not. She is struggling with identity, but that is really no my problem. I moved out almost 10 years ago at 17. It doesnt help that my brother who is 2 years older than I and am married is still super dependent on mommy. She wants to be needed and coddled and I finally told her I dont have time for that crap. 

    I told her that she has been verbally abusive to me which she thought was crap and dismissed. Her feelings reign supreme over anyone elses. I am just glad that I have realized it and dont buy into it.

    It still hurt, but I had a great Mothers Day with my hubby and my son!

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