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Scared

AndromedaEclipseAndromedaEclipse member
in Natural Birth

So I've been doing Bradley Method classes, and my last class is on Tuesday.  I'm due in a month.  I was all hopped up and ready to go until in two classes, the teacher was REALLY explicit about pain ("you'll be in more pain than you've ever felt.  THEN you'll feel the ring of fire", etc).  Since then, I've been so scared.  I only know one person in my generation who has had a natural birth.  Every other person has at least had an epidural, and most of them ended up with c-sections.

What do you do to keep from being afraid of labor, pain, and birth?

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Re: Scared

  • WifeyMommy2011WifeyMommy2011 member
    The unknown is always scary but trust me you were built for it and you can do it! I went into my labor telling myself an epidural was not an option so as soon as I got my 'escape goat' out of my head it made labor alot easier.  The ring if fire hurt for a second but then it went numb.  You can do it! Don't spend the remainder of your pregnancy being afraid of the pain.  I know that is easier said than done.  You can do it! Best of luck
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  • AndromedaEclipseAndromedaEclipse member
    Thank you for the encouragement.  While I'm not exactly happy with our classes, I don't think she was trying to be scary.  But our teacher made it clear she didn't like hospital births (which we're having).  I haven't read Ina Mae Gaskin's book, but I saw a video in which she appeared.  I really should have read it sooner...
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  • jennyann28jennyann28 member
    Ina May's book is a fast read, especially the birth stories because you'll get into them. I will tell you this: my whole labor was in my back. I asked for an epi (I was in transition & didn't know it) and it wasn't because of the pain. It was because I was tired & wanted to take a break and sleep. I didn't get the epi, thank goodness, and the "ring of fire" was really not that bad at all! Anytime things were hurting, I reminded myself that the pain was with a purpose, not because something was WRONG, but because something was RIGHT. That pain was my body bringing my baby girl to me. And besides that, contractions come and go. It isn't a constant pain. My DH & I were able to play cribbage for half my labor!
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  • Blackrose1918Blackrose1918
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    Do you have Ina May Gaskin's Guide to a Natural Childbirth? I think that's the name. Read some of the birth stories at the beginning to remind yourself why you were so excited before.  

    You should most definitely read this book! It's actually Ina Mays Guide to Childbirth. She also has another one called Spiritual Midwifery. Both are excellent! The birth stories open you up to what is possible. You can do this! 

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  • ams_movesams_moves member

    Jennyann, 

    I like your way of reframing that pain means its right not wrong.....thanks so much for that!

    Amy 

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  • pithikakipithikaki member
    imageams_moves:

    Jennyann, 

    I like your way of reframing that pain means its right not wrong.....thanks so much for that!

    Amy 

    This exactly!! I'm a FTM so I'm right there scared with you (and I'm due soon O_O) but this is a very comforting thought.  DH and I have both been reading the Ina May book, albeit skipping some of the stuff we've already read in other books (time!), and we also did the Bradley course (with the wb and texts only though, no instructor/classes) so I'm on the same page as you.

    Hubby keeps reminding me of this, and it's very very true - yes it will hurt, but it's not like if you hurt because you break a bone or don't know whats wrong. This is supposed to hurt, we were made for it to happen this way, and there is no other pain (even if it's less painful) that would be more rewarding finally having this baby! We can do it!

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  • FyreFlyeRushFyreFlyeRush member
    Child birth hurts, and if you pysche yourself into thinking its the worst possible thing you can ever feel, I think that helps. Don't be afraid of it, just tell yourself, it's going to be the worst possible pain ever.  I kept waiting for it to become so bad I was dying in pain. And, then, my water broke, and it happened...I told my mom, "When we get to the hospital, I want an epidural!" She just basically said, "Ok, honey" What she knew and I didn't was that I was in transition, and there wouldn't be time. I'm so glad. By the time we got to the hospital, I was at delivery stage and the pain had backed off. Then came the ok to push, and the pain was gone. I didn't get a ring of fire. Just this overwhelming surge of energy, adrenaline and need to push. And, out she was, in three pushes! Yes, it hurt, and at the time, it was the worst pain I'd felt in my life. But, that feeling of giving birth to this day (nearly 16 years later) is the GREATEST I've ever felt. And, I've felt worse pain since then. 
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  • SWBs WifeySWBs Wifey

    I'm a little anxious, but not scared about it.  I was medicated (on pitocin and an epidural plus a ridiculous number of bags of IV fluids) for DS1's birth and it sucked.  I was miserable even WITH medication, so part of my motivation is that if I could get through that without being able to do anything about it, I can certainly have a baby when I CAN control some of what's happening.  (I was not allowed out of bed AT ALL- not even to use the bathroom- I don't even know what the bathroom in L&D looked like- and I was there for 22 hours)  

    I'm excited for labor, a little anxious about the pain, but SO overwhelmingly excited about the birth part.  I cannot wait to meet my son!  Now... if he could just get on the ball with this coming to meet us part, it'd be awesome...  

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  • cyclek8bridecyclek8bride

    I had a scary birth class session.  I took a fantastically supportive birth class about any method of delivery, and the instructor shows a video of various women dealing with contractions.  She was trying to demonstrate how they were coping with the contractions and then pushing out their babies.  The way it was edited, my brain saw it as a woman having one, twenty minute long contraction then pushing out six babies. With the help of the instructor outside of class, I was able to get my head around what was going on with my body and what I was preparing to do.

    So even with a wonderful instructor birth class can be scary.  I think it was important find out where my anxieties were before the birth.  I was worried about my feelings shutting down my labor. 

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