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July 2012 Moms
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Kinda lost it today...

basil2008basil2008
in July 2012 Moms
So I've been getting rude comments at work lately (that have led me into crying in the work bathroom). Just people making comments about how "big" I am and "let's hope you don't get any bigger", etc... So I've finally started to shrug those comments off and just roll my eyes. Well today I was getting a pedicure with my mom and when the lady asked when my due date was her eyes almost popped out of her head and asked if I was sure I wasn't carrying twins. That stung. I've been telling my mom how much these types of comments have been bothering me. Later in the day, I made dinner for my parents, and my mom goes "I wonder how big Audrey will be. I bet pretty big because you are looking big!" I go "Mom! Those comments really bother me! I've been telling you how much they hurt me......" etc. etc. And I just went OFF about it. My mom said in her generation telling a pregnant woman she looked "big" wasn't a bad thing, they were just acknowledging you are growing. I told her NO women wants to be told how "big" she is, no matter what! Tell her she looks adorable, or that she is glowing, etc... something positive! Not something about her size. No matter what, that feels like a negative comment to me. My dad and DH were there too and we talked a good 30 minutes about it. My dad agreed with me that commenting on a woman's size was not an appropriate comment, but that he was sure they don't mean it in a negative way, it's just an observation. My mom said she has told plenty of pregnant women how big they are getting and they don't get offended, and I told her "just not to your face... I'm sure most do not like that comment". Ugh! I was almost in tears but I held it together... kind of. I don't even think I'm THAT big, but my dad explained it's because in "comparison" I am bigger. Well duh, I'm growing a BABY, that doesn't mean you have to make those comments to my face! I'm already emotional and feeling like a whale... those comments DON'T help. ARGH! Vent over.
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Re: Kinda lost it today...

  • saratinesaratine member

    People say the dumbest, most insensitive things to pregnant women.  But I don't think they are saying you are fat or a whale or anything.  I think it is just something to comment on.  

    You look adorable in your picture at the bottom of your post.   Don't let what they say get you down.  We are pregnant!  We are supposed to have big bellies and we are supposed to be hormonal and sensitive!

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  • agapeflower117agapeflower117 member
    Good for you for sticking up for yourself, even though it was hard! I hate hate hate a lot of the comments I get - I look bigger than I am because I'm really short, and there's nowhere for baby go to except out, and it sucks when everyone and their mother has something to say about it.
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  • APendolaAPendola member

    By the way, you look great in your pic in your signature.  You look like a healthy pregnant woman and those people just don't know how a pregnant woman should look!

    I hink people make these comments with good intentions.  Some women really don't mind me called big and even joke about it themselves - but I think most of us don't like it!  

    It's really insensitive that your mom is making those comments after you told her how much they are bothering you.

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  • basil2008basil2008

    I look bigger than I am too!! I'm really short and there isn't much room for the baby to grow inside, so she pops out more. And I have to explain this to everyone to "defend" myself when these rude comments are said to me. I'm measuring exactly where I should be, people!! I'm going to listen to my Dr. NOT you. How do they expect me to react? "Oh, thank you so much for telling me how large I am. I feel great about myself now." And my mom also warned me "well, just beware that you WILL get comments about your size at your shower this weekend." WTF! Why? Why will I get comments?!?!? Am I really THAT freakin' large?? Seriously! And if I am... people should KNOW to keep their mouths SHUT about it! It obviously really upsets me. Thanks for understanding, ladies. I hope you all can move on past any rude comments you get (if you get any). I'm really trying to. Some days are harder than others, and even though I am emotional clearly, I still feel I'm making sense here. I feel better that you all agree with me.

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  • BarbourWales04BarbourWales04

    I look like I'm about to give birth any moment and I still have a month left. When people make a comment about my size, I just look at them with absolutely no irony and say, "I'm pregnant? REALLY??? When did that happen? Oh my God!!! I can't believe it!!"

    That normally shuts them up pretty quick, but then I was sarcastic before I got all hormonal and touchy, and everyone who knows me knows that. People keep making comments about how my son is going to be a "big boy", and my response to that is always "my doctor says he's exactly the right size." It seems like it's okay just to blurt out whatever you're thinking.  

    For what it's worth, OP, I think you look adorable!

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  • nursemama2benursemama2be
    I just want to say I think you look great. I am having twins and love my big growing belly it means I am doing my job. I remember you saying how huge Jessica Simpson was a couple of months ago. Now we realize why. Lesson learned.
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  • littlepenguinslittlepenguins member

    You look great--they are totally wrong to think they're entitled to pass judgment on your body, which is kind of what they're doing. When people say rude things to me, I tend to play the "my doctor says I'm growing at exactly the right rate" card to hopefully shut them up.

     I don't know if it's the way I'm carrying, but everyone keeps telling me I barely look as pregnant as I am (31w). This bothers me too, because I've gained 25 lbs and feel HUGE! I was at a normal weight before getting pregnant, and comments like that make me think people don't even see a difference. Do I just look fat or something? Ugh.

     Anyway, sending sympathies from here, as well as hopes that your shower is a fun time and you can relax and have fun.

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  • meredith1987meredith1987
    I hate when people say this just to say it, but you really DO look adorable. but I know exactly how you feel...I know Im pregnant and supposed to be gaining weight and all that but I still feel huge. I have arm fat, and back fat and a booty that never existed before and it's hard. It's hard to adjust to this new body and be confident in the fact that I really DONT look like a whale. It's hard not to take it personally when someone comments on our size, big or small because we are all doing our bests to be healthy and grow a healthy baby....and every woman is different. We all grow different...when did these people become experts on what size we should be!?! I feel your pain and you are not alone. :-)
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