- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Babies: 0 - 3 Months
Does it get easier??
My baby is 2 weeks old as of today and i'm still feeling so emotional. I have tried so hard to breast feed and she just won't latch on we started using a nipple shield which lead to 1hr to 2 hr feeding times due to her falling asleep, i was instructed from her doc to not use the nipple shield as they don't get the hind milk and she gets tired from sucking not being full.. so now i'm pumping trying to pump every 3 hours and alternate with that a formula..
I feel like such a failure and know i will be judged by many.. I'm happier knowing the baby is well fed now but my partner seems to think i gave up too easily i spent many countless nights crying for hours on end trying and at the end of the time when my baby is screaming i'm going to do what it takes to feed her i just feel not right about it..
I don't know i'm so new to motherhood and feeling so overwhelmed i can't even barely get a shower in and trying to keep a clean house and getting dinner on the table seems almost impossible... i'ts this never ending cycles i don't know how moms try to have a life.. my LO sleeps 2-3 hours if i'm lucky but sometimes stays awake for awhile due to numerous diapers changes and fussy periods luckily fingers crossed this has been during the day. when i finally get her to sleep then it's time for me to pump for 30min... it's just leaves NO time for me at all.
ramble ramble i don't know where i'm going with this really or what answers i'm looking for i'm just so sad and feel like my life is over now,,, and this is it rinse and repeat.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Does it get easier??
The only person that knows if you tried hard enough is you so your DH can STFU lol. A sane and happy mother and baby is more important that the BFing community's approval. In the long run, how the kid gets fed really doesn't matter IMO.
Im proud of you for at least trying 
If you feel pumping is getting in the way of relaxation and hygiene, you don't have to do that either. I would rather gouge my eyes out than pump lol!
I highly recommend a baby carrier (my fave is a Moby wrap- very easy to use!). It holds LO close and tight and my moving around rocks him to sleep. That way I can chase DS1 and clean the house or whatever I need to do.
My DS1 was a sleep expert but DS2 needs help. If he's kept awake for too long, he is a mess. I have to be diligent with a schedule for him. Flameful confession- he naps longer on his belly. But we have a 2 bedroom apartment so I can always keep an eye on him.
It does get better though. At about 3 weeks DS2 started smiling and cooing, making all the memories of sleepless night and fighting him to sleep disappear
. And now that I better understand his schedule, it makes getting out of the house easier. Babies get a lot more fun as they get older. Hang in there momma 
Yes, it gets easier. You will get faster at doing things, LO will become more independent and you will get into a groove. Have you seen a lactation consultant about the latch problem?
If you haven't gotten the message across already, be sure to make expectations clear with your partner. There will be many days in the beginning when all you have time for is keeping LO fed, clean and happy. Dinner might not happen. Chores might not happen. It will get easier and you will all survive!
aww this made my day! Thank you so much it feels good to hear that from another mom. i'm going to look into that wrap i wanna start baby wearing ASAP
IT GETS BETTER!!! I PROMISE!!!!
It really sucked for me in the beginning, too. DS was tongue tied, so he was eating every 30-45 minutes for an hour at a time for the first six weeks. I thought I would lose my mind. I cried from sheer exhaustion and frustration. After we got the tongue-tie fixed, things started to improve, but I absolutely know where you're coming from.
First things first - do NOT worry about things like having a clean house or making dinner. Seriously. There will be time for that later. Ask your SO to make dinner, order takeout, or eat sandwiches, pre-cut fresh fruits and veggies, healthy microwaved meals, or anything else that requires little to no preparation. Your SO is an adult and can fend for himself when it comes to dinner.
Secondly - you are feeding your baby the best that you can. So don't let anyone's judging affect you. Formula is not "bad" for babies, and since she is still getting breastmilk, she is getting the benefits of your antibodies and all of the other good stuff that comes with breastfeeding. You are NOT a failure. You are doing what you need to do in order to make sure that your baby has enough to eat, and that makes you an AWESOME mom.
It's overwhelming now, but I promise that it will be less overwhelming as time passes. IT WILL GET EASIER. I have a good friend whose baby is four months older than mine, and she told me that almost every day at the beginning. I'm happy to say that she was right.
Hang in there, mamma. You're doing a fantastic job.
Here's a poem my dad showed me when early on when I told him that I felt overwhelmed about never getting anything done around the house. My house looks better now, but I still read it any time I feel like I'm not doing enough around the house:
Song for a Fifth Child
by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton
Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth,Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,Hang out the washing and butter the bread,Sew on a button and make up a bed.Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?She?s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.Oh, I?ve grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).Dishes are waiting and bills are past due(Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).The shopping?s not done and there?s nothing for stewAnd out in the yard there?s a hullabalooBut I?m playing Kanga and this is my Roo.Look! Aren?t her eyes the most wonderful hue?(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,For children grow up, as I?ve learned to my sorrow.So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.I?m rocking my baby and babies don?t keep.
Take a DEEP breath Momma.
It will get easier.
The BF deal... Don't worry about it. My LO had latch issues. I worked with a LC and was pumping every two hours. I was going NUTS and was STRESSED out to the MAX. Finally, I just gave up. I figured I dd it as long as I could and our DD was doing well on formula. If anyone was disappointed in me...oh well... My sanity was being lost. I struggled with the decision, but knew that it wasn't working out for us.
As far as your partner goes... They'll get over it. Hand the bottle and the LO over to them so you can get some sleep. Go for a walk, a drive, a trip to the mall. Get out of the house by yourself. Call a friend, preferably someone who has a child, who knows what you're going through.
Don't worry about the cleaning, the laundry or the meals. Take out food or ready-made meals from Wal-mart or Sam's are great for the time being. If you can't go out to get them, ask a friend. Don't be too proud to ask for help. Now is when you need support. Don't be SUPERMOM. Enjoy your LO. She will grow and change quickly. Give her love.
Your life isn't over... It's changing. It's no longer about you (but in a good way...) Take small steps to take care of yourself. As the saying goes... "If Momma ain't happy... No one is happy."
I understand where you are and what you're going through... You've done the most amazing thing... You've had a baby. Everything else is secondary.
Consider yourself hugged....Happy Mother's Day...
Omg it does get so much easier! It happens gradually but your hormones will mellow out, your baby will start sleeping more and you will develop more of a routine and become more confident as well. It is so much easier (and fun!) when your baby emerges from the newborn stage and starts smiling, cooing, laughing and hitting those milestones....there is soooo much to look forward too!
As other people mentioned, do NOT worry about keeping a clean house and cooking!! You JUST gave birth and you need to concentrate on healing and taking care of your baby. I did not feel like myself for at least 6 weeks and it took about a good three months to feel normal again and that is when I started to keep up with the house a bit more but really didn't keep up with things until about 2 weeks ago (and that is because I have a mellow baby!)
Also, try not to worry about the BFing. I wanted to exclusively BF so bad and went to many lactation consultants and tried so hard. However, my milk didn't come in for 6 days and when it did I never got a lot, my baby had jaundice so he had to eat a lot and I also have inverted nipples so I needed to use a shield. My baby cried when I tried to nurse since he was used to the immediate gratification of the bottle and feeding time became so anxiety ridden that I could feel myself sliding to a place emotional that was not good. I felt a tremendous amount of guilt when I quit trying to nurse but I had to do what was best for me and my baby. I the end it was a relief and I very much enjoy feeding my son now. He is on formula and absolutely thriving. I pumped for 3 months but only got an ounce at a time and dried up when my cycle began again.That was another round of guilt again when I quit pumping but my baby is healthy and happy and that is what matters.
Anyway, I felt like you a lot in the beginning but just realize it does get so much better. Sending you lots of positive vibes and well wishes and I hope you feel better soon. Hang in there mama!
I had a horrible time trying to BF my first baby - low milk supply, latching issues, thrush on my nipples that transferred to his mouth. It was BAD. On top of all that he had colic. I pumped but it was so painful I had to use percocet to do it. Finally, after 3 months I stopped and felt free. My DH gave me a hard time too. I had PPD because of it. It was the hardest thing I've ever tried to do.
You know what?? Formula is food and your baby will be fine. Promise. And... it does get better. If you feel like you need to see someone or that you might be depressed, don't want 8 months like I did.
Hang in there mama!! ((hugs))
DD couldn't latch for a couple days when my milk came in because I was so engorged. She did beautifully at the hospital. For those couple days that I was engorged, I pumped from both sides every 3 hours and fed that to her. I set aside one feeding everyday to try to get her to latch. It was very emotional, so I always did it in the afternoon when I knew I would have time to relax and think of something else before bed. I would break down in tears if she didn't latch. It doesn't hurt to keep pumping, but if you have a desire to breastfeed, there is no harm in trying at least once everyday to see if anything changes.
Also - it is your choice what you want to do. You don't HAVE to breastfeed, and you are not a failure if you can't. Right now hormones are crazy, and I was thinking the same thing you were when I was struggling. You will get through this, and make the right decision.