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LGBT Parenting
Introvert v Extrovert
I noticed in the question of the day on Wednesday that quite a few of us mentioned introverted or socially awkward traits. This leads me to wonder how this dynamic plays out in your relationship especially if you spouse is the opposite of you.
I am extremely introverted and socially awkward. I hate talking to new people and find it very difficult to make friends my age. I have ALWAYS been this way and my mom thought me living on campus in a dorm where I was forced to talk to at least my roommate would help. It did some but since getting married I have regressed in a way.
DW is VERY extroverted. She could make friends with a complete stranger on a 5 minute bus ride. She is very social and has a large group of friends our age, single and married.
Here is the issue. I do not talk to new people unless someone pulls me into the conversation; as a result of this several of DW's friends leave their first meeting with me thinking I am a total stuck up b. DW tries to explain but then gets upset with me and does not understand why I just cannot put the effort forth. It was really bad after this past weekend when we had people over like every night and I just did not want to deal with people anymore. She was frustrated and I was frustrated and we ended up fighting and I still feel just blah about it all.
So how do you deal?
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Re: Introvert v Extrovert
We are just like you describe. DW is a talker and would go out to social events every night if she could and the thought of that just makes me exhausted. And I know I can come off as stuck up or standoffish since i'm just not as comfortable striking up conversation.
So, we've learned to compromise. Sometimes she attends social things by herself or sometimes we drive seperately so I can scoot out early when I've had enough. I find its so much easier now that we have kids because there is a built in excuse why I might not come or have to leave early. And if its an event where I can bring the kids its even better because its something to distract me and keep me busy. Also, we love to host parties - it works well for us because DW gets her social time with me there, but I have plenty of things to keep me busy when hosting so as not to get overwhelmed by constant conversation-making.
In exhange I make more of an effort to be friendly. If there is something she really wants me to attend with her, I will and I'll just use my "coping mechanisms" to get through it - things like being the host/ess's helper, excusing myself to the bathroom for breaks, and wine. cant forget wine
The kid thing is helpful here too because when in doubt, I can just find another mom at the party and we can gab about kid stuff 
its not easy and can still be a source of argument for us, but after all these years its become easier to meet in the middle.
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You guys sound like a mirror image of J and I except J has learned to live with me being so introverted.
I'm so socially....excuse the word....retarded that I even have a hard time engaging J's parents in conversation, the language barrier also isn't a big help though. I would rather sit in silence and listen to them talk than join in, I don't feel like I have interests similar to theirs and I never feel like I have anything worthwhile to add to the conversation. J is very understanding about how uncomfortable I am and lets them know I'm not trying to be a b!tch.
J has also learned that home is my sanctuary and doesn't have Manny, Moe, and Jack over all the time. She has some friends and coworkers that stop by every now and then and pretty much everyone understands that I'm just not a social person.
If we happen to be in a situation where J notices that I'm unfomfortable, she will either carry the conversation or guide me through it and doesn't mind if I shut down and mentally remove myself.
Two Mommies Healing Hearts
IVF Oct/Nov 2012
Beta #1 = 77, Beta #2 = 190, Beta #3 = 1044
Cautiously optimistic.
There is not even a language barrier and I do not talk much with anyone on her side of the family except her aunt L and Grandma H. After this long they all know I am not really a talker and try to include me but they have just come to accept I am more of a passive listener.
K is of the opinion that "every Karen needs an Emma" and vice versa. We have a lot of couple friends who fit the same dynamic as us--one outgoing extrovert, the other much more quiet and introverted. In our case, we've found that we balance each other well. She gets me to go out and meet people more than I normally would, and I keep her in check when her enthusiasm gets a little out of control. This is the case for most other couples we know, too.
I think the key is to be understanding of each other's traits and personality quirks. I know that I'll never get K to stop being a bubbly people person, and she'll never get me to open up to new people as much as she would like. BUT we know and accept this about each other, so even when it's frustrating--as it is for both of us sometimes--we know that "that's just the way she is," and we've learned to accept it, because it's much more often a good balance than a frustration.
This is pretty much us, except I am not at extroverted at A. I enjoy going out, going to happy hours, etc. Being that social exhausts L. We were part of a gay couples group for 5 years before the kids were born and I loved it. At the time we were the only women in the group, and I was the total social butterfly. L always protested going, but would go and end up having fun.
But since having the kids, our social circle has dropped way off. I miss it - but L doesn't.
When an event or a person is important to her, she is explicit about it and I make a real effort at being conversational. I have a drink if others are drinking and that helps. I'm reading a book right now called Conversationally Speaking, and it has a lot of helpful tips.
Maybe because I hate meeting new people, I've gotten really good at maintaining friendships over time and distance. It might be a little ironic considering her social nature, but I actually have considerably more close friends than she does (which is too bad, because she's great).