I'm having mixed feeling..ivf

Denae'sTTC · May 2012

My husband and I decided to just transfer 1 embryo this cycle, which is my first ivf cycle ever... We decided because of pre term labor, complications with twin pregnancies, etc.... But I keep thinking I should 2.... This is my last pregnancy one way or another......I know twins would be very very hard....but I can't stop thinking that putting 1 back is just not what I want...... How do I bring this up to DH? I mean my reasonings are nothing more then a pit in my stomach.....I just feel Ike its what I need to do. AM I CRAZY

LSzwaya · May 2012

I can't speak from experience with IVF because I have none but when it comes to TTC I often follow my gut and it usually turns out to be the right thing. I had a miscarriage right before DS. I was told to wait 3 cycles before trying. I just had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that we should just try. So without waiting for AF at all, I got pregnant with DS and he is here. He is the only living child I have. Every other pregnancy I have ever had has ended in a miscarriage. If I would have listened to the doctor instead of what I felt in my gut, DS wouldn't be here! I just felt in the pit of my stomach and my heart we shouldn't wait and we didn't and he is here. Good luck with whatever you choose!

jtorgersen · May 2012

I'd go with your gut feeling...I know my DH was really letting me take the lead on what to do (hence why we didn't do another retreival and went with our one FET)...so thinking your DH may be the same way and do what you are most comfortable with.

But I also know that even for me I did second guess if we did the right thing by only putting in our one...kept thinking if this didn't work when should we start our next cycle...then what if that didn't work...it was a circle of emotions...not to mention I started seeing the clock ticking down...so I definitely know where you are coming from...my whole thought was I didn't want to have any frozen ones left and have to decide what would we do with them (as the paperwork you fill out for IVF was so overwhelming)...so that's why we went with just our one.

So thinking if you are concerned about any frozen embies then maybe go ahead and transfer two...but also remember the quality they give the embryo doesn't really have that much affect on whether or not they take (mine was given a CB quality and here we are 18 weeks)...just do what will give you the least amount of regrets...

Good luck!

bronxite · May 2012

You are definitely not crazy. Your situation IS crazy. 2IF sucks.

For us every decision we made was about minimizing future regrets. We didn't want to do IVF at all, but we knew that if we didn't end up with a second child, we would regret not trying it. Now that the door is officially closed for us we can truly say that we did everything we were comfortable with and it just wasn't going to happen.

I hope that your outcome is different than ours, but trust me, if you end up where we are, you will appreciate being able to fully close the door.

So what I am saying is that you need to go with that pit-of-your-stomach feeling, because I am afraid that that is what will come back to haunt you if don't achieve a pregnancy at all. If you truly feel like you as a family can handle the potential complications of twins, then I think it is better to deal with those difficulties then to spend a lot of time on the "what-if", "we should have..." etc.

I am so sorry that you are so conflicted. Hang in there. Good luck to you!!

Ellie 08 · May 2012

I agree. I've been facing the same situation, debating mentally about what to do when we begin IVF next month. My DH and I work full time and work/family balance is already a challenge with just 1 child, I can't imagine adding twins into the mix, but my gut tells me that we'll be able to handle it -- no matter what. The chances are slim anyway, but I don't want to not give the IVF our best chance of success.

Lupita2012 · May 2012

Hi. You are not crazy at all. I do hear a lot of IVFs that result in twins, but that depends on your age as well. If you are < 35 with a day5 transfer, no endo issues, chances are that both embryos will fertilize. I have been thinking to do the same with only 1 transfer but I am >35, so facing the same dilema! I plan to 2 IVF in 2 months.

Denae'sTTC · May 2012

Thank you for your responses....I'm still conflicted and I think it's going to be a last second decision..... Why is this so hard for me....

sissyroo · May 2012

My son is just 10 months old and he is from IVF. We put in 2 embryos when we did our fresh cycle and just one made it. I just had a FET on April 19 and we elected to put 2 in again. For us, it just came down to the fact that if we hadn't done 2 the first time, we might not have gotten our miracle. And after our FET in April (BFP, by the way Big Smile

) our embryologists had really high hopes for one of the embryos transferred and the other was just kinda a maybe. We go in on Monday for an ultrasound to make sure baby or babies are still growing and implanted in the right spot. It's a very hard decision, but I am so thankful we did 2 the first go round. And no matter what I find out Monday, I won't regret that either. For me personally, my embryo's are frozen in 2's and I didn't want to have to pick which one was transferred and which one was discarded. Just really talk out the options with your DH. We both went in and just had a really good heart to heart with our RE about all of the options!

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