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June 2011 Moms
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Longish Vent - feeling sorry for myself

ladybug122ladybug122 member
in June 2011 Moms

Hey ladies. I'm just sitting at home next to my beautiful sleeping little girl, and feeling kind of blue so I thought I could look to you all for some kind words.

Tonight is the party for the graduating class, and I am sad that I am not there. I told my SO (who is graduating as well) that I was sad that I wouldn't be able to go, and he went anyways without me. Its cocktail attire so I'm torturing myself by looking on fb of what all my friends are posting pics of their cute dresses. I want to dress up and feel pretty again. SO told me not to complain since I could go if I wanted to - but I really can't, DD only falls asleep with me (and her bedtime is 8:00, when the party started) and nurses during the night, so if I went I would know she was at home crying, upset, and exhausted.

 I know its really not a big deal to miss a party - there are so many worse things that can happen in life - but it is just a bad ending to a bad day. My relationship with SO has been strained in the past few weeks and I'm trying hard to make it work for DD's sake. I hoped things would improve after finals, but we had the same bickering and hostility as usual today even without the stress of classes. I'm going to give it more time and keep trying, but I hate feeling alone in a relationship, and on top of that missing out on things I feel like I should be doing at my age.

So here I am feeling sorry for myself. Thanks for letting me vent!  

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Re: Longish Vent - feeling sorry for myself

  • MrsCodeMonkeyMrsCodeMonkey member

    Aw, hugs, mama! It's tough to feel left out. DH went out to see Avengers with a friend while I put DD to bed and hung out alone. Eventually, I'll get a night off too. We'll see...

     I remember mentioning you were dealing with lots of wake-ups still. I was in the same boat and started the Ferber plan. DD has been sleeping in her crib for over a week now and I feel like I have so much more freedom. I tried GNST and NCSS and they didn't work for us. Maybe if you got some extra sleep and time to yourself it might help your relationship. Also, congrats on graduating! Major props to you for finishing school with a baby. I don't know how you juggle it all. I have major respect for you. Hang in there!  

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  • ajc0121ajc0121 member

    First of all, I just want to say I'm sorry for how you are feeling and that I have been there.

    I'm not sure if you are in college or HS? But either way, I am pretty young too (22, will be 23 this year). And like you, I nurse/co-sleep so my baby only falls asleep for me and I have to lay with her all night. I was thinking a couple weeks ago about how I sometimes miss my pre-baby life of getting to go do what I wanted whenever.

    As for your SO, I understand that is hard too. My hubby and I were on the brink of divorce only a few short months ago. Relationships are hard, and then you add in a baby and being young. You just both have to be on the same page. I dont know, I just want you to know that you arent alone. If you want to talk some more, PM me your email and I'll send you one.

    I hope things get better for you soon.

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  • ladybug122ladybug122 member

    Thanks for the kind words ladies, it means a lot. I'm 21 and graduating from college, but I actually have 4 more classes left since I took 1 semester off with DD. I still get to be in this graduation ceremony though. Thank you for the congratulation :) I am excited to be so close to done!

    Yes I have been dealing with lots of night wakings - I was waiting for finals to be over, but now SO's friend is coming to stay for a week, so I think I will wait til he leaves. I hope sleep training will help things improve.

    Acj0121 - Its nice to hear someone else is in a position similar to mine. Thank you and I am going to send you a pm!

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  • lnln8lnln8 member

    You know what graduating from college is a big deal, and the transition out of college is hard. So you have every right to feel blue, you've had so much change in your life (it seems).

     

    As for the relationship part, its hard, especially coming out of college. Try setting a 5 year plan with your SO, so that way both of you are at least on the same page about life. Maybe you can sit down and confront issues head on while planning. 

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  • OoglybearOoglybear member

    I feel ya, polkadot! My H's job requires a lot of late nights at bars (he's an energy drink rep). Right this very moment he is out celebrating his coworkers birthday. Without me. I've struggled A LOT with being left in the dust while he goes out.  

    I got married at 20, so I've "missed out" on a lot of things my peers have been out doing. I am 23 and a college mama, but I have another year before I graduate. I've been in college for the past 4 years, but a few semesters were part time. (I'm actually IRL friends w/ ajc). 

    Anyway, sorry that you are feeling this way. Congrats on (soon-to-be) graduating. 

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