People are so rude. Vent

mommytoconnor · May 2012

So the other day I was in Target, paying at the pharmacy with my 22 month old in the cart. There was a woman next to me and one beside me. My son all of a sudden started to whale, like someone was killing him. I instantly covered his mouth and said oh no we don't scream, and then asked my mom to finish paying for me and I removed him from the line. Well I instantly got a dirty look from the woman behind me and she scoffed at me as I walked away. Then the other lady made some comment after I left but my mom heard. Now I did not allow him to just have a tantrum in the middle of the store, I addressed it as soon as he made one single sound. Now a little background, my son's adopted from foster care, was drug exposed at birth and has some sensory processing issues from this. He is also not even 2 years old, he is definately into terrible twos. I don't think I need to tell anyone about his issues or justify anything, but why are people so damn rude and feel they have the right to make comments about you and your child. I am not the parent who allows their child to scream or misbehave in a store or restaurant. I can't stand when people do this and then ignore the behavior. I address it when it happens and remove my child. What else do all of these absolutely "perfect" people who are probably not parents, expect me to do. Just venting my frustrations, but if anyone has some sharp little comeback to say to people like this, I would love to hear them. Thanks for listening.

JerkStore213 · May 2012

People are a$$holes, plain and simple. I would have stopped on the way out and been like, "I don't know why you're giving me a dirty look. I'm taking my child out of the store. What else do you want me to do?" Make those people feel stupid right back.

pepomntpat · May 2012

I usually do ignore tantrums in situations like that. In a restaurant we leave because the fun is over for everyone. In Target or the grocery store if she's safely in the cart, I ignore/let her know I know she is mad and we will be finished soon/try to distract and get things finished. And when people stare at me I generally shrug and roll my eyes. She's still a baby, I have things to get done, get over it.

SGC29 · May 2012

anna karenina:
Whaling is illegal!

:snort:

OP, I think you mean wail.

Sorry that happened to you. Do you know what the other woman said that your mother overheard? I personally would just do my best to ignore comments and scoffs from strangers.

mommytoconnor · May 2012

I covered his mouth to get his attention. With sensory kids, they sometimes will get distracted by things and you need to get their attention to get them to stop. It's not as if I gagged him or held my hand over his mouth. It was like 2 seconds.

chetrick · May 2012

What about wailing? Is that illegal?

PunkyBooster · May 2012

I wonder if she was even looking at you?

Some people have ZERO tolerance for whiny children. My mother is one of them. She would do exactly as that lady did in line and I would have had your back.

Try not to worry.

ali_bl-nov05 · May 2012

People are so quick to judge. Whatever, don't let her affect you.

mommytoconnor · May 2012

I'm sorry, I get a little over-protected about this. I struggle each and every day to balance being a good mom and doing everything for my child and when he has the rare outburst in a store, which by the way only lasted about 10-20 seconds, I feel like oh big damn deal, that's the brain part of me, but the emotional part of me just wants to cry at the thought of people judging me and making crude comments. Now quite honestly I'd like to say I don't care what people think but it does bother me a little that people feel they have the right to make comments insinuating you can't "control" your child. As anyone with toddlers knows you can't control anything they do. Sorry for snapping back.

LaurelBee · May 2012

Everyone thinks they can raise your child better than you can. You are giving him a wonderful life that he probably wouldn't have had otherwise. You are super mom in my book! Keep doing what you're doing and ignore the haters

cristiana · May 2012

It happens. DD started throwing a tantrum as we were leaving a restaurant recently. As in, actively getting up and out of the booth. Still, the biznatch at the next table turned around and glared at me. I gave the eye right back to her and was very tempted to sit back down. Seriously, it was Souplantation, not fine dining. Anyway, yes, people suck. You are doing the best you can, and for every rude person, there is another who has been there, done that and understands.

AimeeL85 · May 2012

anna karenina:
mommytoconnor:
I'm sorry, I get a little over-protected about this. I struggle each and every day to balance being a good mom and doing everything for my child and when he has the rare outburst in a store, which by the way only lasted about 10-20 seconds, I feel like oh big damn deal, that's the brain part of me, but the emotional part of me just wants to cry at the thought of people judging me and making crude comments. Now quite honestly I'd like to say I don't care what people think but it does bother me a little that people feel they have the right to make comments insinuating you can't "control" your child. As anyone with toddlers knows you can't control anything they do. Sorry for snapping back.
My toddler has an outburst in every store! When a toddler starts screaming and crumbles to the floor, what are you supposed to do? You can't reason with a person that small! I do a fireman's carry out of the store and you should see how many people judge me!
I guess my point is, we all get judged and looked at that way. You have not arrived as a mother until you are sweaty with your hair frizzing while your child melts down in front of everyone.

Well said!

OP, just remember that for every jerkwad making comments under their breath when your LO acts up, there would have been 100 toddler parents (or parents who haven't forgotten the toddler years) smiling sympathetically if they were there. Sometimes only the jerkwads are there, unfortunately.

I have a friend who has made the same comment to me the last 3 times we have gone out to the mall together. If DS gets restless in his stroller and whines a little and I pick him up, she says toward him "Whelp, you got your way," acting as if I am rewarding a tantrum. She doesn't understand that a toddler is used to running around and playing, and you can't just say "ok, today you have to sit in your stoller and be quiet for a few hours." I don't like to be the "oh just wait" kind of parent, but she only has a 2 month old so she doesn't get it. I just keep telling myself 1 year...1 year and she'll see.

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